Kids sleeping in parents bed

[Konran]

How do people approach this when the child is doing it to frequently and they are maybe getting a bit old for it.I must stipulate I''m not the parent but a relative of the parent.Why do children do this,I mean I have my suspicions but rather hear from a experienced parent who has maybe had to deal with this.

The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child(with the parents permission of course).

[Platypus]

Are you referring to a child sneaking into the parents' bed after they've been put to bed elsewhere? Or children and parents sleeping together in a bed by mutual agreement?

The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child

I'm having trouble understanding why it couldn't be handled by the parent(s) in question.

[Tempest88]

The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child(with the parents permission of course).

If the parent(s) want it dealt with... they will deal with it. Why does it bother you?

How do people approach this when the child is doing it to frequently and they are maybe getting a bit old for it.

To frequently for who? Why would age matter? Do children's emotional needs stop once they hit a certain age?

Why do children do this,I mean I have my suspicions but rather hear from a experienced parent who has maybe had to deal with this.

My kids are 9 - 11 and they both still sleep with me at times. They feel more secure. Many kids are uncomfortable alone at night, it's very common and normal in childhood.

[redsaturday]

My 4 and 5 year olds sneak in with us. So frustrating! We try and get them to sleep on the floor beside us, but they (especially my daughter) sneak in sometime in the night.

I wouldn't be concerned except that I like the room!

[Konran]

The reason I ask is I'd like to help them deal with this but it might be a mistake for me to approach the child(with the parents permission of course).

If the parent(s) want it dealt with... they will deal with it. Why does it bother you?

How do people approach this when the child is doing it to frequently and they are maybe getting a bit old for it.

To frequently for who? Why would age matter? Do children's emotional needs stop once they hit a certain age?

Why do children do this,I mean I have my suspicions but rather hear from a experienced parent who has maybe had to deal with this.

My kids are 9 - 11 and they both still sleep with me at times. They feel more secure. Many kids are uncomfortable alone at night, it's very common and normal in childhood.

Sorry I didn't want to put to much across but I realise it's caused confusion.We are talking a single parent who is my a sister mother of a 15 year old boy,soon to be 16.Maybe that puts it in better perspective.Also my sister tend to confide in me even on matters I likely no less about than her.I'm not likely to say anything to my nephew about it anyway,I just wanted a perspective on it in reality.It's my sister that is concerned.There is more to it (my nephew is going through a rough patch but it is being sorted) but I don't want to say any more.

[Tempest88]

Saying 'teen' instead of 'child' would have given a more accurate picture.

[HesDeltanCaptain]

Recall when little and going to sleep with my Mom n Dad in their bed was out of a fear of the night and also of being alone. Very reassuring having your two parental figures there with you. As I got older, I switched to sleeping with our dogs n cats but probably for much the same reasons.

As a historical footnote, pioneering families frequently all slept in one giant bed. Probably mostly out of warmth before indoor heating n such but possibly also for comraderie n whatnot. Even newly married younglings would sleep with their betrothed in the same bed as their younger sibs and parents and grandparents.

We see similar behaviours in other primates and animals when they all sleep together for similar reasons. Newborn puppies and kitties too all lie all over one another while slumbering.

I wouldn't have any objection to it, or counsel anyone to deliberately end it regardless of a child's age. Let it end gradually as the kids stop trying to climb in on their own like. I'd actually be more concerned with a parent's deliberate attempt to end the behaviour abruptly as it'd probably scar the kid somehow being interpreted as rejection or denial. Whereas if you let it run its course and the kid stops it on their own it's stopping simply because the kid gets older and wants more independence and/or to demonstrate their increasing maturity.