Tempted to rape *May Trigger*

Hi Anon!

I've read through everything you've written. I have to commend you on not acting on your impulses up until this point. They seem pretty strong and hard to deal with. I think you also have a pretty good understanding of where this comes from (displays of masculenity and such) Interesting that you found a woman that you had no intention of raping. Is it because you liked her on a personal level?

You mentioned that you're not opposed to dating sites. Did you know that on BDSMdating, there are options on there you click if you like to roleplay rape/victim? I would not have mentioned this if I thought that you were more geared towards "hurting" someone sexually....but I don't see that in you. You take lube, you take condoms...obviously you're not really wanting to hurt anyone and care somewhat about minimizing what damage you would be doing. You seem more caught up in the atmosphere this situation would give. So maybe finding someone that would like to safely roleplay this would be fulfilling to you. BUT, if you're caught up in the moment and she wants to stop, could you stop? Because if not, then you can be charged just the same.

Scientifically, paraphiliacs have a lot of testosterone in their bodies. Prozac (Fluoxetine) reduces the testosterone levels. If you go for a prescription, they may try to talk you into newer brands, such as Welbutrin or something...these DO NOT lower levels. So you can just say you've been experiencing depression related symptoms, have done your research, and wish to try prozac and nothing else for now. If your dosage is too high, you'll lose your libido altogether, which then could discourage you to take it. I think you need to start with a little bit and just reduce it to the point where you are no longer following women.

As for your friend, if he's a good friend that you don't want to abandon, why don't you let him know the seriousness of your state of mind. Tell him that you're struggling with it and while it may be just conversation to him, you have to work hard to restrain yourself. So conversation needs to omit this subject. At least until you get it under control first.

How does that sound?

MissIve

Hi MissIve,

Yes, I think it had something to do with the fact that I knew her, which made it easier to relate to her as a person, rather than regard her as, for want of a better word, an object. I still have no intention of raping her after the break-up.

I am aware of the BDSM scene, but not sure if it is really for me. If I change my mind, by all means I will try it. I think if someone used a safeword, I would take it very seriously.

I have never followed a woman when sober, so I would prefer to deal with the issues around alcohol than to take medication. I hope this doesn't seem stubborn, but think it would certainly be a better option to start with. If I find it to be a problem when sober, then it could be time for medication.

Presumably I also need to make certain that it is biastophilia? It seems likely from the list of symptoms, but I have not actually been diagnosed. It is difficult, because other people who I have talked to do not believe it: they think it is just an obsession that I need to snap out of. I also suspect the doctor would not know what it is.

I will definitely take your advice with regard to my friend, though I will wait a while before meeting up with him. Thank you for your suggestions.

Anon2

I've realised people stopped posting on this thread almost two monthes ago, so I don't know if you (original poster) will read this, but, yeah. I feel like I want to give you a hug. I really admire the fact that you've realised you have a problem and admitted it to your family and that even when you were going to act on it, you were going to use a condom and lubrication, and lastly, the fact that you made yourself turn around and go home. I lot of women are actually into 'rape fantasies,' so maybe if you have a girlfriend you could talk to her about it and kind of act it out, or you could find a ladie like that on like some sort of S&M forum (if those even exist, which I'm sure they do..) Even though an internet-meeting may not be too promising. I can completely understand if the whole role playing rape thing doesn't do it for you though. I'm a girl, and for some strange reason, rape is a big turn on for me. I've never acted it out in a role playing scenerio or anything, but honestly, I wouldn't want to. First of all, I'd feel silly pretending to be scared and knowing my partner was pretending to act all scary and forceful. I don't think I could do it without laughing. Either way, I think doing it that way- either asking to be raped or asking to rape a concenting girl- just takes a way the whole purpose, you know? It's not rape if it's concenting and planned and played out. Yeah, so I understand if the role playing thing doesn't do it for you, but if it does, I'd suggest d trying it. If you have a girlfriend or someone you have sex with, even if they seem more into 'vanilla sex,' try talking you them about it. Maybe start subtly- if you think they might take it badly,then don't just say, "Can I pretend to rape you??" maybe just start with more S&M type stuff, like tying her up and taping her mouth.


-Actually, since you mentioned using lubrication to make it less painful for her, I guess you ptobably wouldn't be too into sadism. So I guess what I'm saying is pointless. I've been rambling anyway, sorry. It really seems though, since you've spoken to people about this and came here for help, that you're more concerned about this than most rapists tend to be, and I think that says a lot. And I think that the fact that you always have changed your mind when following a girl shows that you have a loy of self control.

Sorry I don't have much advice, if any. And like I mentioned before, I'm just rambling now, for whatever reason. Good luck to you though.

That's a tough one.

To lock yourself up so that you don't harm anyone ... or keep potential targets at risk while you continue to roam freely?

I think people in charge should start looking into making prison much more comfy for anyone who ends up locked in there and have them settle there for good, as that will be the more ideal solution for such current conundrum.

AugustPo: I have read your message recently, and am flattered by your feedback. I don't mind your suggesting the role-play. I have mixed feelings about it: I would probably find it fulfilling, as it is not necessarily to do with pain, but at the same time I think that I ought to try and relate to women in the conventional way as much as possible. Do you think finding outlets is helpful, or would it make someone more obsessed with the idea of rape?

Randomnosity: I have been to get help, and have been told that I am unlikely to offend, but am continuing to have therapy. They are getting me to do some kind of meditation.The preoccupation is more or less the same at the moment. I think about it a lot of the time. I have found myself looking at rape porn and have been tempted to go out and look for strangers to rape. But as far as I know that's all just a thought. I have never raped or attempted to rape, so I currently have no reason to go to prison. Even if I did, I would not get life imprisonment for the first offence, although undoubtedly I would be severely socially stigmatised. Even if I am a danger to the public, what else can I do for now except carry on as usual when no-one will believe it?

That's a good question, and I think it differs from person to person. I've heard that some people, by watching porn that shows their paraphilias or whatever it is (child porn, rape porn, whatever the person's into..) Well, some people say that they find watching or reading those things does help as a healthy outlet, stopping them from wanting to go out and do unhealthy and/or illigal things. Others find it as a major trigger, when they see those images it just gets them turned on and makes them want to do those things ever more than before. So, I guess it all depends. Everyone's different, you just have to find what helps you and what triggers you, then, focus heavily on what helps and avidly avoid what doesn't.

Anon2 wrote:Randomnosity: I have been to get help, and have been told that I am unlikely to offend, but am continuing to have therapy. They are getting me to do some kind of meditation.The preoccupation is more or less the same at the moment. I think about it a lot of the time. I have found myself looking at rape porn and have been tempted to go out and look for strangers to rape. But as far as I know that's all just a thought. I have never raped or attempted to rape, so I currently have no reason to go to prison. Even if I did, I would not get life imprisonment for the first offence, although undoubtedly I would be severely socially stigmatised. Even if I am a danger to the public, what else can I do for now except carry on as usual when no-one will believe it?

I was more like musing to myself when I posted that. If you haven't committed any offense yet, it's not fair to have you locked up.

P0ppy wrote:That's a good question, and I think it differs from person to person. I've heard that some people, by watching porn that shows their paraphilias or whatever it is (child porn, rape porn, whatever the person's into..) Well, some people say that they find watching or reading those things does help as a healthy outlet, stopping them from wanting to go out and do unhealthy and/or illigal things. Others find it as a major trigger, when they see those images it just gets them turned on and makes them want to do those things ever more than before. So, I guess it all depends. Everyone's different, you just have to find what helps you and what triggers you, then, focus heavily on what helps and avidly avoid what doesn't.

I guess it is acted out, so it is no more unethical than any other kind of porn. Ditto with role-play. The trouble with child porn is children cannot really give consent, but that is probably not something to discuss on this thread.

-- Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:45 pm --

Randomnosity wrote:

Anon2 wrote:Randomnosity: I have been to get help, and have been told that I am unlikely to offend, but am continuing to have therapy. They are getting me to do some kind of meditation.The preoccupation is more or less the same at the moment. I think about it a lot of the time. I have found myself looking at rape porn and have been tempted to go out and look for strangers to rape. But as far as I know that's all just a thought. I have never raped or attempted to rape, so I currently have no reason to go to prison. Even if I did, I would not get life imprisonment for the first offence, although undoubtedly I would be severely socially stigmatised. Even if I am a danger to the public, what else can I do for now except carry on as usual when no-one will believe it?

I was more like musing to myself when I posted that. If you haven't committed any offense yet, it's not fair to have you locked up.

That's fine. I think at the moment I just have to go with the help that I'm offered. I'll post on here again if there's anything I'd like to ask.

I'm curious as to how You are doing at this point Anon2....

tornado wrote:I'm curious as to how You are doing at this point Anon2....

I was in fact just about to post an update.

More recently, after a visit to the pub I took some condoms with me and looked around for someone to rape. I decided against it, but thought that I would follow someone instead. This went on for about an hour before I found someone to follow. She was unaware of it but eventually disappeared into a shop and I decided not to carry on. The following few days, I found myself thinking of plans to go and attempt a rape in a village, and looked up the train times, along with giving some thought to weapons I could bring. I told my therapist that I wanted to do a rape, and she booked me an appointment with a PCSO. After the conversation, I abandoned my plans. I find that it makes no difference who I am with. I tend to look at rape porn after drinking but do not think that matters.

I am annoyed with my report from the mental health team, which describes me as someone who worries. I do not worry much and have been reluctant to get help because I doubted it would be believed. Since then, I have gone the other way and refuse to worry about anything.

I have therapy with another service in a month. Other people are taking it so seriously now, that they think I should avoid going out if I have any intention of going through with a rape. I don't know whether I would or not, and I don't think I can be expected to assess my own risk, as I would have thought that would be up to the therapist. Although I don't want to get anxious over it, I know that if I do, I'm in deep trouble. Can you recommend how I can control my behavour for the next month?