What are the reasons for pedophilia? *MAY TRIGGER*

What are the reasons for pedophilic attractions and are there different types?

Firstly I'll give my story going mainly into detail of what "floats my boat": when I was 11 I thought I was by but when I turned thirteen it became obvious that the boys I was attracted to weren't as mature as me and my attraction to girls was purely sexual. Later that year I realised that it was a protective instinct that was causing this and branded myself a pedophile. Well I did research first so by that point I already knew the difference between a pedo and a hebophile and that I was the later. But I knew that that was as it is. Now I'm fifteen and in year 11, still attracted to boys in year 7 & 8, and rethinking why I'm attracted to them.
Many psychologists say it's about power but I'v experimented with this in my fatasies and the ones where im more dominant are generally less affective. When I was 14 I came up with the theory that it was because of my protective instinct as that's what makes me want to embrace them and be with them but they seem to be separate. The truth is that when they look scared or upset I want to hug and protect them and when they smile and seem happy or playfull I want to bed them.

The reason I wonder if there are multiple types is because I, and from what I'v read I speak unanimously for the pedophiles on this forum, couldn't abuse a child ,ESPESIALY not violently. But there are many cases of pedophiles abducting and raping children. Is this just moral degeneracy and selfishness on top of what we have or is it something different?

Eagerly awaiting your opinions

Hello Slaanesh =)

I have much the same issue as you. I'm a 25 year-old guy and attracted to boys primarily ages 12-18, though it depends on how attractive I find the person. I regard myself as a hebephile since I prefer younger teenagers. I may have some thoughts of age regression as well, since I like to imagine myself being younger than I am and I feel my mindset is more like a teenager and not so much young adult (though it doesn't cause me to be irresponsible by any means, it's more of an emotional/sexual thing).

The first thing that strikes me is that you started trying to label yourself from the age of 11, and now you're 15 and it seems that perhaps as you're getting older, so are the objects of your attraction? That's what it seems like anyway, and since you're still a teenager yourself, I don't think I would label you a hebephile either since hebephiles typically would prefer someone ages 12-15. If that's the case, I don't see anything odd or alarming about your attractions since you're in the same basic age group.

As far as your question about different "types" of pedophile, I'm not quite sure what you mean, but the proper terms for minor-attracted people are as follows:

Pedophile = attracted to anyone under the age of puberty
Hebephile = attracted to younger adolescents who have just started or are in puberty
Ephebophile = attracted to older adolescents

Some are exclusively attracted to those age groups and some are not. If you're the latter, it's much easier to function in society and live a more fulfilled life, but the tricky thing about taboo attractions is that the more time you spend fantasizing and desiring that, the more it becomes likely that you shut out members of your own age group because you could stop being attracted to them, and that's dangerous because you could eventually cause yourself to become exclusively attracted to the bad thing.

As for reasons for pedophilia or any of those other ones, there really isn't any set reason for why some people prefer younger ages. Of course there are various triggers that could set it off, but all of them would require that there was already some sort of underlying attraction. That's what I believe, at least.

The first time I noticed I was attracted to younger boys, I was 13. Mind you though, it never occurred to me that I was around the same age as them anyway, because I was in Boy Scouts and some new kids had come in who were about 11-12 years old, and although that's not much of an age difference, it was really noticeable to me because my friends and I were a bit further along in our sexual development. Also, I was a bit more mentally mature and my friends were a year or two older than me, so I was pretty freaked out that I was attracted to these kids when in fact it may not have been too far out of the ordinary.

It seems odd and probably looks odd, but that's something I believe that really sucks for teenagers is that puberty and sexual development is different for everyone, because I've seen so many on here who think they're pedophiles when in fact they're really in the same general age group. It's just that they started growing up really fast and so when you look at a kid who's a year or two younger and not so far into puberty yet, you start going crazy.

As far as different types of pedophiles though, I don't believe that most of them want to or are prone to hurting children or carrying out their fantasies. It depends a lot on mental state of course and how emotionally healthy you are, but the vast majority? I don't think they really want to hurt anyone. I sure don't.

And it's the caring and emotion you feel when you look at kids that makes you a person of good character. Those protective instincts are important, and It's what can stop you from harming anyone.

The truth is that when they look scared or upset I want to hug and protect them and when they smile and seem happy or playful I want to bed them.

I understand what you mean here, and there are times I feel the same way. I think what helps me though is seeing the humanity in people, because I strive on a daily basis to make everyone happy. Seeing other people happy makes me happy, and this is also another reason (besides my own issues) that I come to this forum. Sometimes it feels like the blind leading the blind haha, but really I do my best to answer questions and help out where I can. That's at least one way to give back to the human race to make up for my sexual attractions.

As far as non-offending pedophiles vs. offending, again it's all about mindset.

I think my own particular issue is that sometimes I have the emotional attraction and sometimes not, meaning there are times I can be emotionally and sexually attracted to teenagers, and other times I find them horribly annoying while still being sexually attracted to them =/ it's confusing, but it depends on how mature they are. If I think they seem mentally mature (as in not being a public nuisance), that's more emotionally and sexually appealing to me.

I think a lot of it gets misconstrued as well. For example, children are naturally happy and curious beings, and they can teach you the meaning of joy. But it's all in how people take it. If they have a sexual attraction to younger people, even a smile could be seen as sexually stimulating.

For me, I like the teens who stand out. The ones who are more mature than their friends, who've experienced life in good parts and bad and who I could have a rational conversation with, the ones with issues at home or whatever else. I generally like helping people, though I think that's where I've gone wrong before, because if I'm attracted to someone I'm helping, it could only make things worse. Those situations when I was around 20 or so and trying to help a couple guys who were 15 really bothered me because I knew I had to be a better example. In a couple instances where the attraction was actually mutual, it was more of an emotional thing for me, but sexual for them. They didn't want relationships, and even among members of my own age group whom I've had relations with, it always seemed to be that way anyway.

Life isn't easy being gay in general =p

But I think the whole emotional/sexual thing can be confusing. You want to protect people, help them, do the best you can and at the same time, you have to battle the sexual issues. It's really not an easy thing, but I guess you have to teach yourself patience and if you have any attractions to people of your own age group, I'd say to try and refocus thoughts on that as much as you can because as I said before, the longer you spend desiring what you can't have, the more it eats away at you and screws up your life.

Hope this helps somewhat =)

And again, if you're 15...I wouldn't go labeling yourself as a pedophile or hebephile yet, you still have a few years to go.

The reason I beleve this is never going to change is because the emotions that accompany my attractions are centred around the innocence, and no I still fancy boys of the same age group as I have for the last 4 years.
What I was saying about different types is are there different reasons for different people. A similar case would be anorexia where what ever the reason the result is that you hardly eat, except in this case the result is an exclusive or primary attraction to children. Is it that for some it is about power but for others it's about something els?

I think pedophilia is very misunderstood by psychologists. Probably because they don't talk with enough of them and mostly they deal with those who have abused a child. It would be easy to conclude that pedophiles are driven by power when the only pedophiles you've examined are those who have offended.

I do think there are different types. One of the major problems we face from a pr standpoint is the fact that the word pedophile is a catch all. If a man rapes and kills a child he is called a pedophile. If a man looks at child porn he is called a pedophile. The two are completely different and the person looking at cp would likely be just as disgusted at the man who raped and killed as anyone else would but yet he is lumped into the same category as this murderer. And then there are those of us who have never offended yet if we admitted that we are pedophiles then the first thought that would come to the mind of those we admit it to would be "this guy is a child rapist." My belief is that the fact that a child rapist or murderer may be a pedophile is not relevant. He is a violent person. What baffles me is that the violent nature of the crime is apparently overshadowed by the idea that he could be a pedophile. I tend to have a bigger problem with what was done rather than what his sexual feelings are. So are there different levels? Yes. But it goes way beyond pedophilia. A pedophile may be naturally impulsive. Everyone is when it comes to sex. The pedophile has to develop extremely good self control. So those who fondle children or watch cp or do something sexual that if done with an adult would be perfectly legal (other than intercourse which can physically hurt a child) are really no different than us other than the fact they failed to practice self control. But those who are violent are a completely different breed that shouldn't even be grouped in the same category. pedophilia is the least of their problems. Unfortunately it is the extreme cases that have been used to define the rest of us.

Yes I think there are different types of pedophilic attractions.

It took me long to admit myself I'm a pedophile since most of what I feel toward little girls is not sexual but platonic feelings of tenderness and admiration of their innocence. I see my pedophilia as having these two sides: one is the sexual element in which I see little girls' features attractive. If I could change anything about myself it would obviously be this, but I've learned to live with it. The other side is the deep affection and will to protect kids and this side makes me so sad and mad when I read about child molesters flipping coin with kids' welfare for their own sexual satisfaction. I know some people wouldn't include the latter part as being part of pedophilia as a sexual attraction but I do since it seems I have it so strong and those feelings of tenderness came about the same time I noticed I was attracted to children sexually: that can't be a mere coincidence.

One could argue those platonic feelings are the psychological result of my prolonged suppression of sexuality on children because I don't want to hurt them. They might be a sort of a defence mechanism in order for me to more easily live as a non-offending pedophile. Having talked to multiple other pedophiles they also seem to have this non-sexual element, which is separate of the romantic side, as one of the key parts of their attraction to children.

People who rape and abduct children are not pedophiles and if they are its entirely irrelevant since if they weren't they would simply abduct woman and rape them. Their key motivation for these crimes is not their 'pedophilia'. They have some more severe disfunction in their brain (completel lack of empathy in addition to no impulse control perhaps) that causes them to do these horrible acts. Child molesters who believe they are not doing anything wrong may be pedophiles, if they are not merely situational offenders, but they are extremely ill-informed and led astray by the selfish school of thought of child molesters. They should definitely know better not to mess with kids still developing.

I'm not sure about this but I have a hypothesis for how pedophilia as an attraction occur in some males/females. They have a fetish for cuteness or/and innocence. Someone could wonder then why pedophiles won't see baby animals attractive since they are cute / innocent as well. Well, a straight pedophile has still the underlying attraction to the opposite sex of the same species and since female children are of the opposite sex and cute + the same species they are seen attractive as opposed to baby animals that aren't even human. The same can be said about gay pedophiles with the exception that they see members of the same sex attractive.

I feel the same in terms of how I feel about boys. But I don't entirely agree with you reasoning why we don't like animals, I'd say it's also because of the psychological link. The link with a child is different than that of a cat.

To answer your questions, Slaanesh, no one really knows the reasons for pedophilia, just like we don't know the reasons for hetero- or homosexuality.

There are different ways of classifying pedophilia, as:
A) hetero-, homo-, or bisexually oriented;
B) exclusive (meaning that one is ONLY attracted to children) or non-exclusive.

In addition, someone primarily attracted to the 1-5 year age group would be called a nepiophile, and to the 0-12 month range an infantophile. Those who call such people "pedophiles" in my opinion are mislabeling them, as most pedophiles prefer the prepubertal age range, i.e. around 9-12 years or so.

*edited*

It's good that you've learned from your mistakes. But what confuses me is that you can be into boys and women. I guess everything's possible. Are you not into girls? The same type of fantasies would apply (taking innocence, etc.).

The OP's situation is not unique, Gina. I'm attracted to both adult women and teenage boys. Sure, sometimes I find a teenage girl attractive, but I usually don't fantasize about girls the way I do about boys.