HELPPPP

hi i have this recurring thought that im a pedophile...ive never molested children or wanted too…. yet i fear that i am because the thought has been something that comes to mind sporadically… i saw a picture of 2 boys and found to myself that they were attractive… but they werent that young like 13/14…. i dont have innapropriate desires and i really dont want to be a pervert…. but for some reason i just think i am or will be… i find girls my age attractive but at times i find boys good looking too…. even if logically i think something there is always an underlying feeling in me that there is something wrong with me… i find that when i look at children im not attracted but can find 13-15 good looking.... i dont get aroused which pedos do and i deeply dont want to be one but i have doubts about myself.... also when i research pedophiles to see if i am one i constantly see mention of child porn and i had the thought to look at it to see if im attracted to it which really scared me.... i have never wanted to watch it and have never but the idea to even check to see if it turned me on scared me.... and when the thought of being a pedophile subsides temporarily i get an overall thought that i will still be a pervert in someway. i also sometimes dont know if i can tell the difference between sexual arousal and anxiety.... and to top it all i hate the idea that i could have ocd and be a pedophile.... or that my lack of romantic relationships with ppl my age will cause me to become one... HELP

Hi mfs,

It's possible that you have POCD which is causing these recurrent unwanted fears. What you described - the worry, not actually being aroused but fearing that you will be, etc. - sounds a lot like the symptoms of POCD. Also, a lack of romantic relationships with people your own age will not cause you to become a pedophile.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, and I hope you find some peace. If I were you I would do some research on POCD and / or consult a therapist if you are able to.

Best Wishes,
Basilisk

thank you for the reply i just get so scared that im a pervert