Hi I'm new here.

Hi,

I don't know what to write about but I wanted to add something as I'm new and whatnot. I know this is weird and I hope I don't freak anyone out or piss them off but... I'm a 16 year old male and I think I'm a pedophile (not totally sure) but I haven't told anyone, probably won't tell. I kind of knew since I was 12 or 13 but I didn't really know until last summer when I was working with some of these kids (5-10 year olds) at my church (vacation bible school, if you know what that is) and I don't know I just started noticing them more in the front of my mind. I know that sounds weird tho.

Ever since last summer I just can't stop thinking about kids (specifically boys but I don't really like guys my age so I'm not gay) as much as before and I still do work with them during the school year some and I just kind of got more and more nervous you know? I don't really know what to do, that's how I got here.

I've masturbated thinking about them (especially this one sooooo cute boy) which really freaked me out at first but then I got to kind of liking it and I don't know if it's bad or not. I know just thinking and doing that doesn't hurt anyone but I'm scared of doing it if I get too attracted and "in love" or whatever it is (sorry to be graphic). I really don't want to be this way though at the same time.

I mean I'm a normal guy like...not a freak except this one part about me. I play sports and have friends and stuff...so I'm not a creepy person or anything like that. I don't know how I got this.

I'm so confused, has anyone ever gotten over this and how did you do it?

Hi AidenSG,

I supose a welcome to the forum is in order! I hope you find your time useful here.

I must say it's good to see someone else my age dealing with this kind of thing, actually I supose it's not so great because it means someone else is struggling and that's not good, but I supose it must be good to feel not alone though right?

Don't think that what you're saying is weird, it's hard to understand is all and I'm sure it's not healthy thinking yourself as weird. I can understand that you may be thinking of kids all the time but if you don't mind me asking, do you actually feel attacted to them? Or just think about them a lot? Because I think there are more ways than one to explain this and I don't want you convincing yourself you are something you are not.

I don't think you should feel bad about masturbating, if it's not CP then I'm sure it's ok, try not to feel bad about it because it's like you said, no one is getting hurt. I may be the worst person to be telling you this but I know it's true and you should too. If you are scared about falling in love with a child then the best thing to do would be to break off contact with that child if you feel you may act out, maintaining control is very important as I'm sure you are aware.

I know exactly how you feel though about not wanting to be this way, I know this isn't exactly the kind of life everyone dreams of but it has upsides, I believe that it is good in a way we are like this because it gives us more of a love for children and it allows us to love those who believe they are unloved, I think that is very important but that is just my belief and nothing to get ideas off (Sorry, just trying to follow forum rules).

I'm sorry to say but I haven't really gotton over this, I personally don't think I ever will but there is a chance I guess, thing is though, there are people who have gotton over this and have been able to live happy lives being what they are but because they are doing well for themselves, it's unlikely they will show up here sorry.

I hope that answers some of your questions, or at least relieves you for a bit, Good luck and all the best,
Anon112

For a diagnosis of pedophilia a person must be at least 16 years of age and must have been attracted to prepubertal children for a period of more than 6 months. since you are only 16 the children you are attracted to must be 5 years younger than you. So heres what I think based on what you've said. I think you are a pedophile who is just starting to realize it. Your story is the same as mine. I realized it at age 11 but just thought I was gay. It hit around your age that "gay"really didnt fit me because I realized that the age group of boys i was attracted to stayed around 7 to 12 even as I was aging. I didnt actually know what a pedophile was though at the time so I didnt have a way to label myself. eventually I did stumble upon the term and accepted that I was one. I've had self esteem issues and social issues that I believe are a result of this. I often felt inferior to the rest of society but over the years I have realized that 1. Nobody except a couple people I told in college knows this about me and 2. It is not something that I chose so I refuse to live in guilt over it.

Now for you, nothing is written in stone. You've established that you are attracted to youn boys and you fit the clinical diagnosis but you are still young. My hunch is that you are and will continue to be a pedophile but it is possible given your age that things could change. If they do, great. If they don't, also great. There is no reason you cant live a normal happy life even if you are a pedophile. You just have to keep it in check. Just understand that children are innocent and sexual activity with an adult or even an adolecent such as yourself IS emotionally damaging to them in the long run. You have to distance yourself from them. not physically but emotionally. it is okay to be around them but you're involvement in activities involving kids should be limited. Thats as much for your own wellbeing as it is for theirs. When you become emotionally drawn to a child that you are attracted to ultimately you will akways wind up disappointed because they are simply off limits. You are setting yourself up for a very depressing life if you dont create some emotional distance. I have become emotionally attached before and had to force myself to back off before. It is literally like losing your best friend. It's just not a road you want to go down.

I can only advise you from my own experience so i'll wrap it up with this. I am a young adult and I am happily married today with a family of my own. I have never touched a child inappropriately and I never will. my sexual "disorder" as may call it does not control my life. Yes it's still there and I do have the occasional fantasy but it doesnt go beyond that. I do not live those fantasies out. I live a completely heterosexual lifestyle and have no problems with how I am but while I have no guilt about being this way I recognize that most of society would hate me if they knew. My advise, until society is more understanding and less moronic, keep it to yourself. Just dont let it dictate how you live your life.

Hi, welcome to the forums. Not much I can really say on the subject of pedophilia, I probably know as much about it as you know about necro, but it seems surprisingly common that a pedophile who considers themself straight would be attracted to minors of their same gender. No clue why this is, there really isn't much I can say in relation to you, but I've heard of it, so I guess the purpose of this place is to show us we're not alone in the universe, haha.

Hey

Thanks for writing everybody. A lot to think about and probably write tomorrow because I gotta get to bed it's late.

But just for the record, I don't even know if I'm straight or what just don't think I'm gay either. Even tho girls like me and stuff I never got super hot after one...I mean, not as much as I think other people do. It's even less for guys (like I don't remember ever liking a guy over 11 or 12). I don't really feel much for guys or girls my age. Is that weird?

Aiden

Well, no, just be who you are, and find some contentment in it. Took me a while, but I'm comfortable now with my sexuality, I don't really even want help for my necrophilia.

Maybe you'll find this helpful, maybe not. Sometimes its nice knowing your not alone in something. We are very similar in a few ways. Firstly I'm also new here. I just recently turned 19 and am attracted to young males between 6-12. Not attracted to anybody my age either. When I first found out (at 17) I was really angry. I kept thinking: why me? I'd like to think of myself as a good person. One way to cope is to just realize that this one part of you is not who you are as a whole. Though we have to bare more than most people, it makes us stronger and better people (as long as we don't succumb to our natural urges). Best of luck to you.