PEDOPHILLIA ???? PLZ REACT!!!

es i know its me again...

Hello my name is michael and i have the following problem.

I saw a boy and thaught that he looked cute d started to wonder if i couldnt be a pedophile. And i started to dig up things about muself froms the past d facts from the present like:
- when i was younger (idk could be few motnhs or few years cant remember) i mastrubated to "may" from pokemon (i know....)
- same thing...cant remember i think i was 15... and i mastrubated the girls of bakugan....i know...strange....
- when i was 14 i mastrubated while thinking of a girl of 10 i did this like idk 10 times ?
- i always felt attractive to girls with small breasts while the other guys always kept talking about " big boobs "
- when i was 12 i once pulled down a younger girl her pants down ( i think it was for the fun of it so to laugh but i start doubting) i never mastrubated on the thaught of it.
- when i have "pedophile thaughts" i dont feel disgusted i only feel stressed an anxious.
~testing facts:
- in the beginning: when i tested myself if i get aroused ( erection) by the thaughts i sometimes got aroused and sometimes not.
-earlier this day: i tested myself and i got aroused EVERY time ( 5 times) i tested myself.
- later this day ( now) : unable to get aroused by only thaughts ( stimulation needed)
- i get stress from girl between 8-13 and i think that if this was pocd that i would get stress from all kids from any age and from both genders....
- i feel like i am honestly attracted to them.....
- when i "accept the possibility" i feel like i am a pedo....
- i start to think that i am attracted to girls (8-13y)
- i feel like i have no attraction anymore to girls of my age....
- i like BDSM ( i read somewhere that pedos are mostly sexual saddists idk f this is true)
- when i was younger i used to have friends wich were younger then me
- when i was in the swimming pool (before all this) a young girl was there (idk 10 maybe or 12 ) and she wasnt wearing a bikini (hte top part) and i remember feeling strange when i saw her (i think a little aroused) but i didnt have an urge to keep on looking (i think)



These things gave me alot of stress.

Things were i hold on to to reansure myself im not a pedo:
- i always thaught about girls of my class ( so my age)
- i used to like big breasts
- kids never bothered or intrested me (i think)
- i think that i only got aroused because i thaught of a particular part not of the whole person( child) ( i hope that thats the reason)
- i think i might be aroused because i concentrated to muh on seeing if i get aroused or not. ( another guesse)

Can you people tell me what you honestly think of it ?
Dont just say " its OCD" because i start to get the feeling that alot of people say that to make themself feel better.
So plz alswer with your honest opinion.

No " you need to accept the uncertanity " things because i tried for 2 weeks it was working ald then one spike and im worse then when i started.

So plz give your honest opinion POCD or pedophile

Ps: i have never been diagnosed with OCD

Chill the fu.ck out, man. The reason no one is replying to your thread may be because we know it isn't going to do one ounce of good. No matter what we tell you, you are going to be back here in a few days, or weeks, or however long it takes for you to start stressing again.

I know you don't want us to tell you to just accept any possibility, but it's all you can do. If it makes you feel any better, you can try actually going to a therapist and talking about it. They would know better than us if you a pedophile or not.

It would also help if people could read the whole entire post all the way through, maybe that's the problem.

Only you know if you are a pedophile or not. Have you had feelings towards children more than 6 months that have been sexual? I mean nobody really can tell you that you are a pedophile or not, only you can realize that.

michaelconfused wrote:es i know its me again...

Hello you again! (assuming you're on here a lot!)

michaelconfused wrote:- when i was younger (idk could be few motnhs or few years cant remember) i mastrubated to "may" from pokemon (i know....)

I googled her. Its a kids' show and she seems "girlish" but she has enough adult female characteristics that it doesn't remind me of paedophila.

michaelconfused wrote:- same thing...cant remember i think i was 15... and i mastrubated the girls of bakugan....i know...strange....

Again, i googled them and as above - they are drawn with adult female features, just "cute".

michaelconfused wrote:- when i was 14 i mastrubated while thinking of a girl of 10 i did this like idk 10 times ?

When I was 15, when i met my 18 y/o boyfriend he had a crush on a (very innocent) 14 y/o. Do you think that made him a paedophile? I get that 10 is not 14, but remember you were 14, and that you also mention later you tended to have friends who were younger than you.

michaelconfused wrote:- i always felt attractive to girls with small breasts while the other guys always kept talking about " big boobs "

Some guys like small breasts. no, really, some guys just prefer them. Its called personal preference!

michaelconfused wrote:- when i was 12 i once pulled down a younger girl her pants down ( i think it was for the fun of it so to laugh but i start doubting) i never mastrubated on the thaught of it.

This sounds like a normal sort of prank. Kids were always doing that sort of thing. The fact you worried afterwards, and you initially thought it was just a laugh says enough.

michaelconfused wrote:- when i have "pedophile thaughts" i dont feel disgusted i only feel stressed an anxious.

Do you know what exactly makes you feel stressed or anxious, and why?

michaelconfused wrote:~testing facts:
- in the beginning: when i tested myself if i get aroused ( erection) by the thaughts i sometimes got aroused and sometimes not.
-earlier this day: i tested myself and i got aroused EVERY time ( 5 times) i tested myself.
- later this day ( now) : unable to get aroused by only thaughts ( stimulation needed)

When someone has an OCD compulsion to switch the lights on and off a set number of times, or wash their hands, why is it the lights not the TV, or their hands not their nose, or their ear?

"Testing yourself" like that is an obsessive behaviour.

michaelconfused wrote:- i get stress from girl between 8-13 and i think that if this was pocd that i would get stress from all kids from any age and from both genders....

Is there anything you can think of about girls aged 8-13 that might explain why you feel stressed by them, or attracted to them, or anything at all?

michaelconfused wrote:- i feel like i am honestly attracted to them.....
- when i "accept the possibility" i feel like i am a pedo....
- i start to think that i am attracted to girls (8-13y)
- i feel like i have no attraction anymore to girls of my age....

Do you have no attraction to girls your age all the time, or just when you "accept the possibility"?

michaelconfused wrote:- i like BDSM ( i read somewhere that pedos are mostly sexual saddists idk f this is true)

Nope. I'm into S&M, but i'm not a paedophile. and from what i gather, not all paedophiles are into S&M.

michaelconfused wrote:- when i was younger i used to have friends wich were younger then me

That sounds completely different. Like you are identifying with people who are younger. People can find that for all sorts of reasons. Paedophilia isn't one.

michaelconfused wrote:- i think i might be aroused because i concentrated to muh on seeing if i get aroused or not. ( another guesse)

Can you see exactly how much you're concentrating on that? A hell of a lot!

michaelconfused wrote:Can you people tell me what you honestly think of it ?
Dont just say " its OCD" because i start to get the feeling that alot of people say that to make themself feel better.
So plz alswer with your honest opinion.

[/quote][/quote]

If you're not getting many replies, this is the reason - you've put us all in a lose-lose situation. If we say we think you are obsessing, you will believe we're just trying to make you feel better. Then you ask us to answer honestly. But if we think you're obsessing, we can't.

No one here can diagnose you with anything, but you make it a bit hard for anyone to say anything here. Almost as if you are setting yourself up to try to get a response out of people indicating paedophilia.

Is there a reason (on some level) you might want to be told that? Is there anything in your own past that might be linked to any of this?

All I can say is that whatever is going on with you here, what appears to be the massive problem is how much you're thinking about, worrying about and stressing over this. Whatever is causing the thoughts you have, you are obsessing over it, that much is clear.

What is the biggest thing that worries you about thinking you might be a paedophile?

What does "paedophilia" represent to you? - not meaning the obvious definition, but what do you think of people who are attracted to children, or the idea of attraction to children?

What about your own past? (you don't have to answer that here if you don't want to.) they're just personal questions for you to think about yourself - but if anything does make sense to you and you want to talk, I'm listening.

before all this started i was just attracted to my age and max 2 years younger (14y-16y), im 16 asswell btw.
and i cant realy tell if i feel attraction or not....i feel alot of stress 24/7...and dont know wivh feelings i like or not.....

then this all started because i thaught a kid looked cute and then that question came up in my head and then it all started.


i get stress from the thoughts because i'm afraid that i would like them.

i asked for your honest opinion because when i put this on another forum (ocd forum) they all replied its OCD. vut they replied to that to everybody. and i got the feeling they just do that to make themself feel better.and i want the truth, the real answer. if you say i think it is OCD then i belive that you are telling your honest opinion.

Sounds like OCD to me also.