what is pedophilia?

Ive posted on here before and everyone was telling me I had OCD. I had been doing really well but I relapsed a little bit.

What I am wondering now is, for those of you with pedophilia what exactly are your feelings towards kids? Do you find them hot or do you crush on them?

I am worried because I get the crush/butterfly feelings towards kids I think are cool and I want them to look up to me and think I am cool. But it also seems the kids I feel this way about are cute kids so I am worried I am just crushing on them and its the beginning stages of love.

What I am wondering now is, for those of you with pedophilia what exactly are your feelings towards kids? Do you find them hot or do you crush on them?

Pedophilia is the sexual attraction one has towards children.

A Pedophile is one who thinks their attraction is natural, normal and without negetive consequences. Who has acted upon their "fettish" be it masterbating to imagry, taking part in pro-pedophile groups or committing acts of sex upon a child. A pedophile can be a teenager or an adult.

kidcudi14 wrote:Ive posted on here before and everyone was telling me I had OCD. I had been doing really well but I relapsed a little bit.

Lol. Everyone in capitalist society has OCD. Don't stress about it. That's what causes it.

What I am wondering now is, for those of you with pedophilia what exactly are your feelings towards kids? Do you find them hot or do you crush on them?

Can't speak for others, but I both find some kids hot, and have a crush.

I am worried because I get the crush/butterfly feelings towards kids I think are cool and I want them to look up to me and think I am cool. But it also seems the kids I feel this way about are cute kids so I am worried I am just crushing on them and its the beginning stages of love.

Sounds like you're normal to me. Kids are cute. Normal to notice that. We like to be admired by others. Also normal. You have a crush on a boy or girl. Again normal.

There are lots of legal and fun ways to spend enjoyable and intimate time with kids we care about. Totally normal.

Smile.



Peace.

dan1966 wrote:A Pedophile is one who thinks their attraction is natural, normal and without negetive consequences.

So does the fact that I think my attraction to children is unnatural, not normal, and has many negative consequences mean I am not a pedophile?

322 wrote:

dan1966 wrote:A Pedophile is one who thinks their attraction is natural, normal and without negetive consequences.

So does the fact that I think my attraction to children is unnatural, not normal, and has many negative consequences mean I am not a pedophile?

It's just a made-up word bro. A label.

I'm attracted to kids. I feel my attraction is natural and normal and has few negative consequences. Call me what you will. How 'bout: awesome!

Glass is half-full...

Actually, the definition of a pedophile is simply someone who is attracted sexually to children, whether they are happy about it or not and whether they consider it normal or not. Here's the official diagnostic definition: http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disor ... iliaTR.htm. For the record, there are three distinct categories which are generally lumped together under the term pedophile when the general public talks about it. However, the three terms are quite distinct and in fact are very distinct from a diagnosis and treatment perspective (from what I understand, pedophilia is impossible to change while hebephilia and ephebophilia can be turned to adult attractions, though I have not yet tried working with a therapist on it myself).

Pedophile refers specifically to someone who is sexually attracted to children (boys or girls or both, whether they are the same sex or the opposite sex) who have not undergone puberty yet.

Hebephile refers to someone who is sexually attracted to children currently going through puberty.

Ephebophile refers to someone who is sexually attracted to children who have just finished puberty but are still under the age of consent.

This last one is frankly really stupid if you ask me. Western culture worships youth and while we all know it's illegal for an adult to have sex with a 14-15 year old kid, the fact remains that most adults with homo or hetero sexual desires, if they're honest (many are not because of the witch hunt atmosphere we have in the world regarding anything to do with pedophilia or anything that sounds like it) will admit to finding teenagers attractive. Seinfeld even did a whole show about it with George staring too long at a 15 year old girl's breasts. While officially it's supposed to be considered "sick" and frowned upon to find such kids attractive, the reality is that most adults do find them attractive but simply know enough not to act on it.

Anyway, getting back to your own questions, for me I find I'm attracted to the entire gamut of boys, from around age 8 all the way into early adulthood (i.e. early 20s) though my fantasies usually tend to revolve around kids around 10-14 years of age which would peg me as a hebephile as opposed to a pedophile. I personally don't like the feelings I have about being attracted sexually to children and would change it if I could.

I also find that in most cases, it's a matter of lust for me rather than love. However, I think in that respect, I'm like most other "normal" people (normal in the sense of people who aren't attracted to children not in the sense of saying that I'm not normal for whatever I am).

For most people, the initial interest they feel in someone they might eventually have sex with or want to eventually have sex with is a feeling of lust -- of feeling someone is pretty or "hot" as you put it (for some reason, I tend to look at boys and think to myself, he's so pretty or he's so gorgeous as opposed to thinking he's so hot, but not sure what to make of that). The feeling of love comes once a relationship has deepened -- something which happened to me only once when I did fall in love with a 13 year old boy (though I never did anything about it from a sexual standpoint other than having a fantasy about him -- I never told him how I felt about him and never touched him in a sexually suggestive way).

Hope that helps.

Bottom line, whatever it is you are feeling, you need to accept that you feel it and then try to move on so that you can live your life. It's not perfect, but so far that's the best I've been able to come up with. Others seem to feel that aversion therapy where you either associate this with something disgusting or where you force yourself to see your desires as pure evil works, but for me I've found that trying that just makes my desires get stronger.

Nanook wrote:

322 wrote:

dan1966 wrote:It's just a made-up word bro. A label.

I'm attracted to kids. I feel my attraction is natural and normal and has few negative consequences. Call me what you will. How 'bout: awesome!

Glass is half-full...

This is great.

Personally, I don't prefer the label "pedophile" because of the stigmas and negative connotations it carries, but very basically, "pedophile = a person who is sexually attracted to children." I prefer the term pedosexual. It's normal for some people attracted to children to get primarily "crush" feelings over sexual ones, just as some adults may get crush feelings more than sexual ones for other adults.

Love is one of those entities that can sprout from many origins and that can present itself in many different forms. It's wise to examine this feeling and meditate over it if you wish to understand it better. Nothing's wrong with loving children in any way - the stigmas and negative connotations have warped reality for many people, leaving minor attracted persons with many dead ends and other difficulties in their lives. It's important to explore oneself and appreciate ones qualities with one's own eyes and not the eyes of others. Sometimes seeing yourself from the outside or from the eyes of others may help this, but do not forget the power of valuing yourself.

JimCR gave some good input, too.

Keep on loving!

dan1966 wrote:

What I am wondering now is, for those of you with pedophilia what exactly are your feelings towards kids? Do you find them hot or do you crush on them?

Pedophilia is the sexual attraction one has towards children.

But that is not all it is. Another important part of it is also an intense emotional attraction to children. I have been told by more than one that the sex constitutes about 2% of the relationship, and had they known the sex would cause the disruption of it (they were discovered by third parties and busted), they would gladly have given up the sex to keep the other 98%. (The percentages, obviously are approximate.)

It should also be noted that not only are pedophiles attracted to children, but children are attracted to pedophiles, at least according to the late Father of Sexology and Johns Hopkins Professor Emeritus of Pediatrics and Medical Psychology John Money, author of many books on the Paraphilias,

Shrink Rap wrote:

dan1966 wrote:

What I am wondering now is, for those of you with pedophilia what exactly are your feelings towards kids? Do you find them hot or do you crush on them?

Pedophilia is the sexual attraction one has towards children.

But that is not all it is. Another important part of it is also an intense emotional attraction to children.

Yes, this is true! A very important part it is. Thanks for mentioning this Shrink Rap, I don't know how I overlooked this part. Often, people tend to focus too heavily on the sexual aspect and forget that the attraction is often not composed primarily of that sexual attraction.