Clearing the Air/Sexual Confusion and Origins Question

First time on the forum ! Reading through many of the topics I have been pleasantly surprised as to how well delicate matters are discussed here. There's a lot of sensitive and well mannered people that I am finding myself admiring. I wish the entire internet was as nice as this place. I hope it stays up and running for a good long while. I'm a male junior in high school, so I apologize for any flaws with my writing in advance.

Anyways, I just wanted to get something off of my chest. I have a crush fetish. Those women crushing cute kittens and rabbits beneath their feet? Yep, I find myself very attracted to them and what they do. But of course I realize that torturing animals for any reason is a horrible and cruel act, and would never support it regardless of my urges. I'm not ashamed of it, I'm not facing any personal issued because of it. I am not 'sick' because of it. I've only ever told one close friend about this, and we've never talked about it again. He was shocked, but okay with it. He's a bit different as well, but I don't know the details. It felt really good just to say it to someone close. So I decided to come here and share it as well.

Onto other matters, I have been wondering lately about my sexuality and whether or not it ties in with my personality. When I imagine a woman performing these acts, I am usually on the submissive side. I imagine being trampled or crushed. In the real world, I definitely have a submissive way of life. I am non-confrontational, speak quietly most of the time, and am easily spoken over or broken down by aggressive or assertive people. Leading to a low self esteem. With me, I feel like it's all really convenient. Maybe in some cases the two mix, and in some cases they don't? Is it just coincidence or can there be a direct connection for some people? How does your sexuality compare with your personality?

I don't think that not having a crush fetish would help my esteem issues, so I'm leaning towards coincidence. I'm curious about what others have to say on the matter.

Secondly, I find myself to be turned on by a variety of different situations, and if I were less biased, maybe I could be turned on by even more. From crush to vore, females crushing and drawn crushing. Violence and gore spark a reaction at times, but I am attracted to cute and cuddly as well. I like dominating girls and cute, submissive ones. I feel that I could even be bi-sexual if I wasn't so uncomfortable with the idea of being attracted to my male friends. I feel like I could even like domination myself if I wasn't sold on being submissive. I have a sort of aversity to homosexuality and domination, like I'm resisting it. They're doors waiting to be opened but with what I already have, I choose to leave them alone. Does anyone else feel this way? Like you could be into more if you had no problems with it?


Long post I know, but there is one last thing that I just thought of now. How should I handle breaking it to a girlfriend (currently single), that I'm not interested in traditional sex? The idea really just disgusts me. In the eww kind of way. Maybe I'm just immature, but with all that I've already liked, I shouldn't be grossed out. I've seen far worse but sex and the sexual organs, I just want nothing to do with. I'm not resisting it like I mentioned above with homosexuality, It's just not for me. I'm either into my violent and odd fetishes, or into soft touching, cuddling and kissing. I have this whole sexual identity but without the sex. Any ideas?

Hi chiefwahoo100,

Welcome and I do like the sound of your user name.

Your crush fetish is interesting. Are you also turned-on by the idea of a woman walking on you, with high heels or bare feet? I'm pleased that you are not ashamed of your fetish.

I do think that personality can be reflected in your sexuality...or at least there does seem to be links. I identify as a masochist sexually (but not as a submissive - more a switch). In real life I can also be somewhat of a masochist by putting myself in hurtful or problematic situations, and I am often passive to a fault (neither dominant nor submissive). I have not been able to have an emotionally intimate relationship with a partner, as I have difficulty opening-up to people. My sexual fantasies (rape, violence etc.) are possibly reflective of that.

Yeah, I'm pretty open-minded, so I imagine I could get interested in a lot of different sexual activities. I think the sexiest organ is the brain, so using your imagination to conjure up new situations can be a lot of fun - especially if you can bounce ideas around with someone else, and feed off each other's excitement/arousal. I hope you find someone(s) you can explore your sexuality with.

Have you had a girlfriend before? (You don't need to answer if you don't want to.) All my sexual fantasies are non-loving/non-vanilla, but I've really enjoyed sex with a partner. I wouldn't rush to dismiss sex outright. If you have feelings for someone, you may find that hormones kick-in and you actually enjoy sex. Add some kink, and you may be thrilled.