Have you told anyone?

I told a friend of mine who is a much better person than I, and he had no problems with me saying that I felt attracted to "too young girls", meaning "having entered puberty".

And I think the way he's taken it in stride has helped me relax about it, and not consider it such a big deal.

What have your experiences been in coming clean, or do you think about it?

I'm thinking about telling one or two friends. And I'm not a pedophile, just a humble ARist (and vorephile). So I'm under like a tenth of the pressure a lot of you guys are.

I am however worried about being taken for a pedophile (for those who don't know, AR is adults physically regressing to childhood), that's 70% of what's held me back since I was twelve.

Other than a few people online, I could never tell someone. Especially not someone close to me.

Hell no man I only come clean about myself online. Maybe in the future though.

i think about telling somebody a lot, but know that i could never tell anybody that is close to me for at least a long period of time. the only people that know about me are the people on this forum website (and possibly one boy and his parents) and for the time being i would like to keep it that way.

i did an experiment a while back and decided to come out as gay, which is also true, and see how people around me took that, and it was mixed results, mostly acceptance but with a fair amount of repulsion and hatred as well. i reasoned that if those around me werent ready for me coming out as gay then they definitely weren't ready for me to come out as a pedophile, so i immediately stopped there.

sometimes i wish that i could tell my friends, but this too will possibly never happen.

One time in a foreign country in the middle of a depressive drinking binge a girl i had known for about a week asked what was eating me up. I went outside and told her kinda matter of factly and we talked for ten minutes or so. She reacted fairly well, didn't turn on me or anything, but I haven't talked much to her since. It was an interesting experience but not one I'm particularly inclined to repeat.

My wife after she found stuff on my computer and trust me it hasn't been an easy couple of years for both of us.

But without her, I don't know what would happen to me. She's been supportive and strict, a good thing for me.

I told my family in 2005 when I was beginning therapy. I felt I had to because my sister was having a baby (she now has 2 boys, 3 and 6) and I feared if I got too close to my nephew over the years I might cross the line sometime, and I never wanted that to happen so I just "came out."

After that I told a lot of people in therapy and the different groups I've belonged to over the years. Telling people has gotten much easier the more I've done it and I've learned to just feel people out before telling, and really, only if I have to (like if I spend a lot of time around their kid or something and don't feel comfortable). So pretty much I just tell on a need-to-know basis.

I've found while some have been standoffish or whatever, most people have been supportive of me because they know the rest of me and realize that this is only a small part of who I am. I usually just stick with the supportive friends.

However, I can relate a lot to what people are saying...I was terrified for as long as I can remember about telling people and only did when I was "forced" to, in a way.

AnonymousAndy wrote:I told my family in 2005 when I was beginning therapy. I felt I had to because my sister was having a baby (she now has 2 boys, 3 and 6) and I feared if I got too close to my nephew over the years I might cross the line sometime, and I never wanted that to happen so I just "came out."

It is important to keep in mind that there is a great divide between pedophilia and incest. Pedophiles rarely get involved with family members, and those who engage in incest with children are rarely pedophiles. Of course, if a pedophile had been a victim of incest himself, that would change the dynamic so it is more likely in that case.

Alevi wrote:I told a friend of mine who is a much better person than I, and he had no problems with me saying that I felt attracted to "too young girls", meaning "having entered puberty".

Taboo as it is (don't know why, since age of consent laws do not constitute a prohibition on being attracted to girls younger than the statutory age of consent), I suspect most guys are into pubescent girls to varying degrees. Those into breasts may prefer their females slightly older for obvious reasons. I am very open about liking pubescent girls, though I avoid being crass or too overt about it, and I have only found one (male) friend who was clearly uncomfortable with it. He's a breast-man, (co)incidentally.