Boy trying to seduce me, need help

thank you flipant,
i definitely want to maintain friendship with boy. He's been my friend for a while, and started coming onto me after figuring out my true preferences. (still not sure how, guess he used assumption and observation)... but anyway, the way i see it, at the moment i am his only protection and i wouldn't want to ruin that. by this i mean that he focuses all of his mind power and willingness on trying to get me to have relations with him, and if i finally manage to get him over this, he will most likely seek the same thing with other older boys, probably ones not as nice and restraining, who might take advantage of him or even harm him. In addition, i remembered something about him just now. I am not for sure, but i am almost completely certain that he has mental disabilities, based upon his actions in previous occasions, so he might be in an even worse situation than aforementioned, easier to take advantage and trick, etc. I really like this kid as a close friend, and i would hate to see anything bad happen to him, especially if i had foresaw its coming beforehand. As for the bus situation, thats not bad at all. i get to have a bit of fun with the kids, mostly what i do is let them play my ipod and help them with the games. When problems occur, such as the occasional boy jumping on my lap, i immediately tell him to get off without any hesitation whatsoever. The main problem is with this one specific boy. I fear that even if manage to solve this issue in the best way possible, maintaining friendship and correspondence with him and ending his advances towards me, he would still (judging by his personality) seek out another more willing participant without much thought about the consequences about doing so, without telling me anything about it, knowing that i would try to stop him from having his "fun" with them as i had stopped him with me.

I think you should be applauded for your amazing self-control, and I wish that this was the side of paedophilia that the public saw - someone battling themselves despite being invited and provoked by the boy and his parents continually.

It's concerning to me that his parents are encouraging this, it makes me wonder if he has been in any sexual situations before at their behest. If I wasn't worried they might "out" you, I'd encourage you to call social services.

Law and, I suppose society, takes the standpoint that children cannot consent because they are not mentally capable of understanding the full ramifications of what they're consenting to. You've also mentioned you think the boy has some mental disability, which further compounds this point. I'd try to remind yourself of that when he's coming on to you - he may not know what he's doing, he certainly doesn't know the consequences of what he's doing. He can't give informed consent because he can't fully comprehend the situation and all of its possible outcomes. For the sake of your self-control I would try not to let yourself think that he's more mature for his age, that he might understand, etc. This is something we can never really know, and 10 is still very young, and I think it will just make things harder and more confusing for you.

It should be the parents' job to make decisions for the child in that instance, since kids can't consent, so I'm pretty aghast at their 'laidback' style of parenting, it seems pretty negligent.

I know that you're worried about the boy or his parents trying this on someone else, someone with less self-control or genuine care for the boy than you. Is the boy vocal about his attempts, or is it just suggestive? If he's totally open and can talk about what he's trying to achieve, you can perhaps open a dialogue with him. Explain to him that it's not in his best interests, that it isn't safe for him, that his parents are wrong and he needs to wait until he's older to make that decision, because it could hurt him in ways he doesn't understand now.

If that doesn't or won't work, then I'd suggest approaching his parents again and expressing concern about what might happen to him at the hands of someone else if he continues to think his behaviour is okay. Maybe you can scare them into taking responsibility for their child?

I wish you could safely tell a teacher or counsellor at the school this was going on, so someone else would step in to try and ensure the boy's safety, but again, I'm worried that the parents might blame you and the effect that would have on your life there.

just adding in one last thing, i honestly think that this boy would not mind outing me at all to my parents if i were to peeve him off enough to do so, thereby ruining the rest of my life.

EDIT: wow, i just realized that i forgot to answer any of AnxiousAna's comments or questions.
firstly, thank you for the appraisal about having the strength to resist this. I also wonder about his history and the possibility of other sexual encounters from the past, but again, you are also correct that the fear of being outed by them and ruining the rest of my life is basically blocking out many of my options. also, i never see him as being more mature than he really is, i don't let myself fall for these lies trying to draw me in, the thoughts are in the back of my mind for sure, where they belong, and i am aware of them. i am also quite worried about him, as you mentioned. he is quite vocal about these attempts, basically trying everything in the book to get what he wants. not to sound triggering or anything, but i think he's exposed just about every inch of his body to me in an effort to get what he wants, even though i tell him this doesn't work and that he has to stop this kind of behavior. ill try opening up a dialogue with him on the next occasion and see where this road leads me. i still think i'd prefer to go for him rather than the parents, because they are basically set in stone with their opinions, and he is more fluid and could possibly have his thoughts set straight before they become cemented into his mind. i see a narrow road of options, some of which are more self-centered than others, but that still must be considered in this situation.

inferiority wrote:just adding in one last thing, i honestly think that this boy would not mind outing me at all to my parents if i were to peeve him off enough to do so, thereby ruining the rest of my life.

And what is your parents' reaction likely to be? Most would be appalled to learn their son is a pedophile, but there have been cases of parents who have tried to learn all they could about the phenomenon and be as supportive of their sons as possible.

Why do you suspect the boy is capable of ratting you out? I thought you said he liked you, or is he only interested in sex? You said you and he were friends so I thought it was a more complete relationship. And presumably if he'd rat you to your parents, he'd just as soon go to the cops. If the boy is realistically capable of such things, he is very dangerous and I'd try to distance myself, no matter how tempting he might be.

Do you know if the boy suffers form any psychological problems for which he has been treated? And outside of the sexual realm, how do you rate his mental health and that of the parents?

i already know what my parents' reactions will be because when i told them i was simply gay, they were so ignorant about gay people that they thought that gay and pedophile were the same thing, and they were quite literally ready to kill me until i assured them that this wasn't the case. They have never really been supportive of me at all, and i know that if they learned this, things would only go down hill from here. i suspect that he is capable of ratting me out because even though he is a very nice boy who i have been friends with for a long time now, he does have quite a large temper on him and it seems quite easy to set this temper off. He would hate himself for doing it later, but in the spur of the moment, controlled by this anger, i know he would have no problem in ratting me out. The liking situation has also changed a bit since he realized that i was a pedophile. Before it was a genuine friendship, but after learning about this, he began to slowly do what he is now, telling his parents and family, who surprisingly say no problems with this at all. i realize that he could just as easily go to the cops, but in his mind, going to parents would be easier and better, since he already visits the house every once in a while anyway. The only problem i see with distancing myself is that he doesn't really let this happen. For example, he comes over to my house and stays there until my parents leave to go somewhere. i try to get him to leave because i know what he will try to pull while they are gone, sometimes verbally expressing these feelings like "Ok [name], my parents are leaving now so you should probably go home too. I've got other things to be doing." but then my parents (in all of their brilliance) always say that i should stay around and play with him until they get back, assuring me that nothing can possibly go wrong (boy i wish they knew how wrong they are). I am fairly certain that he is suffering from psychological problems, but i am not sure which one as i am no doctor, but whatever it is, it is not being treated. On a basic scale, i rate his mental health at about a 7 and the parents at an optimistic 8.

Purely because I find it hard to believe a set of rational parents would encourage someone to engage sexually with their 10-year-old son, have you considered they might be trying to set you up somehow?

i have been contemplating this thought around in my head as well, and if they are then they are doing a pretty good job of it, maybe too well they don't really have a reason to hate me though, unless they suddenly changed their opinion of me solely on the basis that their 10 yo son told them that he was friends with a pedophile (this still sounds a bit shocking to me). but if they are anything like my own parents, they believe that all pedophiles should be put to death, or at least in a prison call to (ill quote my parents here) "rot in the hell where they belong". IF they are trying to set me up, then don't they realize the laws they are breaking themselves, like encouraging their son to engage in sexual activities, possibly some neglect, abuse, and other charges that are just popping into my head upon thinking about this. This situation might end up "resolving" itself when the kid finally catches on that i am not going to cave into him (even his patience and determination has a limit) and he heads off to (gulp) find another older boy this might end up being my only option, but it sounds so self centered, knowing that i could possibly prevent this from occuring, but simultaneously ruining the rest of my life in doing so. uh, this is the hardest mental test i have ever had to take....

EDIT: If my own parents find out that i am a pedophile, i would seriously consider suicide, as they would do their best to make the rest of my life a living hell, and i have almost never thought of suicide before. :cry

Be careful! They might be trying to set you up purely on the grounds that you're attracted to him, and that in their book might be enough to do whatever they can to land you in prison for as long as possible.

Moral and precautionary reasons aside, you shouldn't cave in for legal reasons. And they are either being underhand or outright irresponsible parents. So either way they deserve to be treated with suspicion.

i know what you mean. The parents always treat me as if they think i am going to jump on him the moment they leave him alone with me. I have told them times before that i will not do anything sexual with their son, and they give me the old, "Okay, but we'll just wait to see if you change your mind" stuff. they seem way too calm in the whole situation, as if they are going to gain something out of it (like me in prison forever, or the opposite, their son's satisfaction). Two entirely different ways to look at it. But regardless, if this keeps up much longer and gets much worse, i am going to have to take the easy way out and just break connections to get out of the whole situation and hope the best for him. But still, i am quite preoccupied with his situation, because it seems too good to be true on the one hand and too weird to be realistic whatsoever on the other. Whatever backlash i get out of this i will just have to get through, even if means being reported. its better to be reported and not having done anything than having done something and then being reported.
Another thing i have to "look forward to" is the kid's birthday on the 6th of July. This will be a day of fu for him but ultimate torture for me if he and i get left alone for more than 5 minutes. Remarks like "gimme my yummy present" (hope you know what i am referring to) are in the foreseeable future. I am wondering as to whether to get him an actual present or not, since i may have to break connections with him really soon, and it seems that getting a gift (actual gift) would make this a bit harder to do.

inferiority wrote:its better to be reported and not having done anything than having done something and then being reported.

Surely that's the bottom line of the matter?

inferiority wrote:Remarks like "gimme my yummy present" (hope you know what i am referring to) are in the foreseeable future.

He says stuff like this? At ten years old? I might have known in some ways that I was gay at that age, but I was nowhere near being sexually aware enough to make cheap innuendos and direct appeals for sexual favours from those in their twenties. It's all just too weird. I'd steer well clear of them.