Our partner

Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Paraphilias message board, open discussion, and online support group.
Forum rules
================================================

The Paraphilias Forum is now closed for new posts. It is against the Forum Rules to discuss paraphilias as the main topic of a post anywhere at PsychForums.

================================================

You are entering a forum that contains discussions of a sexual nature, some of which are explicit. The topics discussed may be offensive to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum.

This forum is intended to be a place where people can support each other in finding healing and healthy ways of functioning. Discussions that promote illegal activity will not be tolerated. Please note that this forum is moderated, and people who are found to be using this forum for inappropriate purposes will be banned. Psychforums works hard to ensure that this forum is law abiding. Moderators will report evidence of illegal activity to the police.

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby GinaSmith » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:53 pm

Doesn't a predator kill against its prey's wishes, rather than being invited to do so?

My flat overlooks an expanse of grass next to the sea. At this time of year I have endless beautiful young girls sunbathing outside. I see guys walking past looking at them. I can tell you that when the girls are obviously well under the age of consent (10-14), the only difference is that I see the men looking at the girls, then quickly looking up at the flats to check nobody is watching, and then they check out the girls. A good 90% of them do this (possibly the rest are gay). I think if we had a reliable way of measuring sexual attraction, society would be shocked to discover that probably the vast majority of men are attracted to girls well under the age of consent. Which is no surprise - the age of consent is a culturally relativistic norm, and has nothing to do with attraction. It means you can't %^&* them; it doesn't mean you shouldn't find them attractive.
GinaSmith
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1039
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:57 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby inferiority » Sat Jul 02, 2011 11:00 pm

yeah, in my research for sex education last year, i found that most men are sexually attracted to younger girls because it is wired innately in their minds to do so because the younger a girl is, the more likely she will be to produce an offspring, thereby ensuring the survival of the species. We no longer need this instinct, but it refuses to go away, an anachronism from the days of our hunter-gatherer ancestors.
The cruelest lies are often told in silence. -- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)
User avatar
inferiority
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:44 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 1:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby Shrink Rap » Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:57 am

Hall et al studied a community sample of normal men and found that fully 25% of them reacted to pedophilic pornography at levels that equaled or exceeded their response to adult pornography.

Hall, G.C.N., Hirschman, R., & Oliver, L.L., “Sexual Arousal and Arousability to Pedophilic Stimuli in a Community Sample of Normal Men,” Behavior Therapy, Vol. 26, 1995, pp. 681-694.

Abstract

Self-reported and physiological sexual arousal to adult and pedophilic stimuli were examined among 80 men drawn from a sample of volunteers. Over 1/4 of the current subjects self-reported pedophilic interest or exhibited penile arousal to pedophilic stimuli that equaled or exceeded arousal to adult stimuli. The hypothesis that arousal to pedophilic stimuli is a function of general sexual arousability factors was supported in that pedophilic and adult heterosexual arousal were positively correlated, particularly in the physiological data. Subjects who were highly arousable, insofar as they were unable to voluntarily and completely inhibit their sexual arousal, were more sexually aroused by all stimuli than were subjects who were able to inhibit their sexual arousal. Thus, arousal to pedophilic stimuli does not necessarily correspond with pedophilic behavior.
Last edited by Shrink Rap on Sun Jul 03, 2011 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Shrink Rap
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:36 pm
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby GinaSmith » Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:03 am

Shrink Rap wrote:Over 1/4 of the current subjects self-reported pedophilic interest or exhibited penile arousal to pedophilic stimuli that equaled or exceeded arousal to adult stimuli.


It would be interesting to know how many of the subjects exhibited arousal to paediphilic stimuli that did not equal arousal to adult stimuli but was still pronounced in terms of its magnitude. That would be highly relevant if investigating arousal to paedophilic stimuli in a sample of normal individuals. Does the study also cite figures for this?

The hypothesis that arousal to pedophilic stimuli is a function of general sexual arousability factors was supported in that pedophilic and adult heterosexual arousal were positively correlated, particularly in the physiological data. Subjects who were highly arousable, insofar as they were unable to voluntarily and completely inhibit their sexual arousal, were more sexually aroused by all stimuli than were subjects who were able to inhibit their sexual arousal. Thus, arousal to pedophilic stimuli does not necessarily correspond with pedophilic behavior.


Maybe I'm tired but I feel like there are a few sentences missing before the last one here. What do you mean by this? Just that lots of adult males are aroused by paedophilic stimuli but don't abuse?
GinaSmith
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1039
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:57 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby Platypus » Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:27 am

Shrink Rap wrote:Hall, G.C.N., Hirschman, R., & Oliver, L.L., “Sexual Arousal and Arousability to Pedophilic Stimuli in a Community Sample of Normal Men,” Behavior Therapy, Vol. 26, 1995, pp. 681-694.

That link won't open for me. :(

Although a minor detail, you seem to have omitted the underlined part in your comment on the findings:
Shrink Rap wrote:Over 1/4 of the current subjects self-reported pedophilic interest or exhibited penile arousal to pedophilic stimuli that equaled or exceeded arousal to adult stimuli.
No diagnosis, lots of opinions, and a bunch of issues that I haven't quite figured out.
Platypus
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 6868
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:26 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 3:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby Alevi » Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:55 am

Shrink Rap wrote:Hall et al studied a community sample of normal men and found that fully 25% of them reacted to pedophilic pornography at levels that exceeded their response to adult pornography.


I'm trying to come up with a joke about chinese food.
It would go something along the lines of "well that was a nice change in cuisine but I wouldn't want to eat it everyday". *Ba dum tssshhh*

I would need to see a study of their reactions over time, and also a comparison of them managing to masturbate and climax to such porn, for it to have any meaning.
It's not like men are 100% in control of their penis' reaction, after all.

EDIT:
Wait. "Visual stimuli consisted of slides of nude prepubescent girls". This is considered pornography?
*sigh* Must be the Bible Belt trying to study the World.
Alevi
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 5:46 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 6:26 am
Blog: View Blog (8)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby Shrink Rap » Sun Jul 03, 2011 12:02 pm

GinaSmith wrote:
The hypothesis that arousal to pedophilic stimuli is a function of general sexual arousability factors was supported in that pedophilic and adult heterosexual arousal were positively correlated, particularly in the physiological data. Subjects who were highly arousable, insofar as they were unable to voluntarily and completely inhibit their sexual arousal, were more sexually aroused by all stimuli than were subjects who were able to inhibit their sexual arousal. Thus, arousal to pedophilic stimuli does not necessarily correspond with pedophilic behavior.


Maybe I'm tired but I feel like there are a few sentences missing before the last one here. What do you mean by this? Just that lots of adult males are aroused by paedophilic stimuli but don't abuse?

Of course, I did not write that; I was just quoting the abstract, but your understanding is accurate.

-- Sun Jul 03, 2011 12:15 pm --

Platypus wrote:Although a minor detail, you seem to have omitted the underlined part in your comment on the findings:
Shrink Rap wrote:Over 1/4 of the current subjects self-reported pedophilic interest or exhibited penile arousal to pedophilic stimuli that equaled or exceeded arousal to adult stimuli.

Thanks for that correction. I've edited my post.

-- Sun Jul 03, 2011 12:32 pm --

Alevi wrote:I would need to see a study of their reactions over time, and also a comparison of them managing to masturbate and climax to such porn, for it to have any meaning.

Why would you need to see that?
"Visual stimuli consisted of slides of nude prepubescent girls". This is considered pornography?
*sigh* Must be the Bible Belt trying to study the World.

I wish it were just the Bible belt, but this is actually federal law enforcement policy. And it gets even worse. As a result of a Supreme Court case, Knox v. US, the Dept. of Justice issued new guidelines saying that photos of clothed children could now be considered kiddy porn. Parents have been convicted of kp for photos of their infants breastfeeding, their kids in the tub, and grandmothers for photos of a grandkid bare-assed crawling on the floor.
Shrink Rap
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:36 pm
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 5:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby Clouds » Tue Jul 05, 2011 5:04 am

What were the words of the parent's exactly that made you think they were ok with what you "would do?". What is the child asking you to do? Is it that you may be projecting sexuality into the situation that is much less sexual? I believe that you should excuse yourself from the situation and possibly call in a report for investigation if the child is hyper-sexualized as it may be a consequence of abuse. Additionally, think about this. Let's say he is being abused by father or brother. Very often children tell of the abuse, but shift it to someone outside the family who has not committed the abuse. You would be the perfect option here. Just like a crack addict shouldn't be hanging out in a a west-side abandoned building, you and this kiddo should be away from each other. Just the humble opinion of a MSW student.
Clouds
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 8:26 pm
Local time: Sat Jun 21, 2025 11:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby Divinorum » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:34 am

I'm gonna reiterate, from what you've told me I'm convinced he's already been abused. Sorry to dump that on you, but you're gonna need to factor it into whatever you decide.

You can cut all contact, or you could try and help him, but there's no telling how, or what the results will be. You could try confronting the brother; if you're clever enough you could get something out of him. Just my thoughts... good luck...
Forgive yourself, love yourself, and love life. The rest will flow.
User avatar
Divinorum
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:29 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 3:26 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Boy trying to seduce me, need help

Postby inferiority » Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:48 pm

clouds,
i am definitely not projecting sexuality into this situation, i am quite sure of that. the things that have been done is him stripping down naked when we are all alone and even him starting to masterbate himself, trying to provoke me into joining him. things that he has said have been "this would be a lot more fun if you would join in" and other various things that can not be interpreted in any other possible way. i even hada talk about this with his parents, and they told me to go ahead and do what he says, that they see NOTHING wrong with it. Both he and them somehow know about my pedophilila (still scares me that they do) and they are actually encouraging it. the words that made me confident in their position went something like this: ME: "your son wants me to engage in sexual actions with him, and i fear that he may get us both into a lot of trouble. ive told him to stop and he simply wont." THEM: "well, why don't you just try out things with him. you may even have some fun". the only thing keeping me away from calling social services for suspected past abuse is the fact of being "outed" so to speak.
i realize that we should not be anywhere near one another, and have tried to enact this for some time, but i am going to have to be quite assertive and determined to pull this off. trying to break contact tomorrow, on his birthday.
Divinorum:
i also think that past abuse is a definite possibility, and wish that i could go into a further investigation of this with him and his family, but since the current situation is so dangerous and dicey, i really don't think that i am the best one for this job.
The cruelest lies are often told in silence. -- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894)
User avatar
inferiority
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:44 am
Local time: Sun Jun 22, 2025 1:26 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

PreviousNext

Return to Paraphilias Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 36 guests