Boy trying to seduce me, need help

inferiority wrote:but it sounds so self centered, knowing that i could possibly prevent this from occuring, but simultaneously ruining the rest of my life in doing so.

I don't believe it is self-centred at all. We can't always help other people. It is foolish to dive-in to save someone from drowning if you can't swim yourself.

You are not in a good position to help this boy. I think the relationship is harmful to you and should be ended. It is not your responsibility to protect him from harm at the hands of others. Nor is it your fault that his parents are not doing a better of job of looking after his wellbeing.

I know you want to help, but for the moment I really think you need to put yourself first.

i know you are right, but my emotion is overriding my sense of logic. i guess that the only choice that i have is to just cut the cord and let him off, saying that it was nice being his friend, but that these advances are just not acceptable and i fear for both of us if we are not separated immediately. Maybe i can reexamine my options at a later date, but at the moment, i got to bring myself up out from the hole that ive fallen into with this kid and his parents. staying out of trouble with the law and my own family is a bit more important to me at this moment, since i still depend on them financially. i hope the backlash is minimum and no false accusations are made against me in retaliation from the parents, because even if they are proven to be wrong, that is basically the same as letting the cat out of the bag for me. but on the brighter side of things, at least this ordeal has made me more confident in my level of self-restraint and i can now feel much safer in the company of most children. thats good

Right choice, time to end it.

inferiority wrote:i guess that the only choice that i have is to just cut the cord and let him off, saying that it was nice being his friend, but that these advances are just not acceptable and i fear for both of us if we are not separated immediately. Maybe i can reexamine my options at a later date, but at the moment, i got to bring myself up out from the hole that ive fallen into with this kid and his parents.

Yes, I think you are absolutely right. Maybe some where down the track you will able to reconsider and find a way to help the boy. Or maybe someone else will be able to help him so that you don’t need to worry about it.

How would the boy’s family justify their actions if they did backlash against you? Wouldn’t it make them look very strange to your parents if they complained about you cutting ties whilst simultaneously outing you as a paedophile? I don't think most people would consider it reasonable to expect a much older boy to be friends with a disabled child against his wishes...and even less so if he is a paedophile.

Even if the boy's family did say something and you don't want your parents to know the truth, you could simply deny any allegations. That the boy's family would say such 'untrue' things about you would seem like added justification for you wanting to break contact.

I'm really glad that you feel more confident in your level of self-restraint. I'm sorry you have had to deal with this stressful and confusing situation to achieve that.

thanks people,
im going to post the results of it here and let you all know how it turns out.

GinaSmith wrote:Purely because I find it hard to believe a set of rational parents would encourage someone to engage sexually with their 10-year-old son, have you considered they might be trying to set you up somehow?

I don't find this a plausible scenario because if the relationship were to be consummated and then then the parents complained about it, they would be just as much to blame as inferiority, resulting in likely their losing custody of their son, maybe permanently. Presumably, the parents love their son. Do you see this, inferiority, or do you see any evidence that they want to get rid of him?

Be careful! They might be trying to set you up purely on the grounds that you're attracted to him, and that in their book might be enough to do whatever they can to land you in prison for as long as possible.

Gina, if they really thought he was the horrible, evil pedophile they would not be leaving their son alone with him for a moment. They may be well meaning but misguided in that they love their son and just want to see him happy.

inferiority wrote:EDIT: If my own parents find out that i am a pedophile, i would seriously consider suicide, as they would do their best to make the rest of my life a living hell, and i have almost never thought of suicide before. :cry

Please reconsider this. It has often been the case in a wide variety of cases that when families are personally touched by some unforeseen consequences that they seriously attempt to understand their child and attitudes can change dramatically. Often however, they prefer to just put it out of their minds and may tolerate you if you do not keep bringing it up. And even if they react negatively for a prolonged period and you may have to break things off with them, you can still find support in places like this forum and B4U-ACT which may end up serving as your new "family." I suggest you look into B4U-ACT as there are a number of well adjusted minor-attracted people there who have made fulfilling, productive, law-abiding lives for themselves and who could serve as role models for you.

Finally, I want to support Flipant's well considered comments are recommend reading them again.

I want to suggest something that I don't believe has been put forward yet.

This kid is only ten, and he's making persistent sexual advances on you. I'm aware that children have sexuality too, but this does not seem normal. He may be acting out something he's been taught. His parents' blase attitude leads me to wonder whether they themselves are abusing him. Indeed they may have been doing so for some time.

If not them, then someone else the boy knows.

Do you think this is plausible?

quite, the boy is totally confused. For one, a little bit of a red flag here, he shares a room with his 14 year old brother, and second, his parents (especially the father) seem wayyy too nice to him. even when he yells at his father like a dog, the father responds calmly and does whatever teh son asks. i know that some people are just like this, but it seems more of a facade to me. Unfortunately, im not the best person to aid in this situation, and i hope that another person comes along and undoes the tangled web that this family has woven.

I wasn't thinking they would go through with allowing you to have sex with him, by the way. Maybe I've got a skewed idea of American policing from too many TV shows, but I had imagined that in a possible set-up scenario they might arrange a time and a place and then have the police waiting in the next room. A bit too paranoid? UK police have been known to use such sting operations.

Either way, I think we're all agreed something is weird here.

na not paranoid at all, in fact in america, there is actually a television show dedicated to this kind of thing, where they get an adult woman to pose as a young girl and lure in men that are then captured and taken away on camera by policing hiding somewhere off camera. its called "to catch a predator".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Catch_a_Predator

i don't think the parents would have tried that though, as a time and place was never established nor hinted at and the events occur almost always in my own home. i agree also that something is definitely off about this whole thing, and i hope that this will be properly addressed by another person that isn't so locked in later.

EDIT: at least the host of the show shows some form of empathy and intelligence. "Show host Chris Hansen emphasizes that these subjects should be labeled as potential sexual predators, and not pedophiles."