Legality in Pornography

Platypus wrote:Stopping all thoughts of the fantasy would probably be more effective if that was your goal.

However, for many people with a paraphilia that is not an option they are willing to consider.

Tried that, turns out that such a direct approach is too heavy-handed, and ultimately probably not possible.

It's too heavy-handed, because as with obtaining happiness, that can't come from doing things that give you instant gratification, it must come from doing many different things that together creates a synergic effect, over time.
And you can't stop your attraction just by stopping your thoughts whenever they arise. You just end up focusing more on such thoughts, to the point where they occur several times an hour.

And it is ultimately not possible, because it is what you are. Where your heart is. What you want.
'course, I'm not talking about the obsessives, and not much about those who realize that their attraction has come about due to psychological or emotional (non-sexual) things that have happened to them.

It's not a "fantasy", it's an attraction.
Do you really think that you could stop feeling attracted to women?

I don't think so.
And I can only speak for me, but I realized that fighting this head-on was a battle that I was not going to win, simply by having had a sexual dream about a very young girl, waking up and remembering it with fondness before my brain had a chance to kick in and tell me: "Hey this thing that puts a smile on your face and makes you happy early in the morning, yeah it's actually very very wrong".
That's pretty much when I realized that I should stop trying to fool myself into thinking that I could change that part of myself, and actually, I feel much better with myself after having come to accept my heart.

Alevi wrote:That's pretty much when I realized that I should stop trying to fool myself into thinking that I could change that part of myself, and actually, I feel much better with myself after having come to accept my heart.

And presumably in turn this healthy attitude makes you not only happier but less likely to break the law?

Reminds me of an Oscar Wilde quote: 'When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.'

GinaSmith wrote:And presumably in turn this healthy attitude makes you not only happier but less likely to break the law?

Why yes. Acceptance is a prerequisite for a good understanding.

And when you understand yourself, you are no longer confused or uncertain, and therefore don't buy into the hysterical delusion that because of your attraction it is only a matter of time before you do something towards somebody against their will.

Alevi wrote:And when you understand yourself, you are no longer confused or uncertain, and therefore don't buy into the hysterical delusion that because of your attraction it is only a matter of time before you do something towards somebody against their will.

I personally agree with you Alevi, and I really like what you wrote here. However I also respect people like Dan who may choose to abstain from pornography and fantasies that stimulate their paraphilia. I think what works for one person may not work everyone. People should be able to choose (within the limits of the law.)

I believe that if some one is loking at something that he/she deems as porn, and there are no victims from that person activities, I see nothing wrong with it.

Like for example, if some one has a fetish for masturbating to videos of people dieing in car crashes, where is the harm he/she does that? Is he/she killing the people (no
) supporting the killing of people (no) it is a victimless crime.

Porn should be legal to watch, as long as the watcher is not harming anyone.

Porn should be legal to get, as long as the person who gets it is not supporting the harm of others.

Is some one pas money to have some one drive over people and make videos, that I would consider illegal (the making of the video) and illegal for the person to pay for that porn and pay to have that pron to be made as there is a victim.

IN resume, if there is no victim when the person watch the porn, I don't have a problem with it and I think other people should agree with me.