Is thinking of girls bad

Is the thought of naked girls bad? I guess it is but wondered what others felt.

-- Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:07 pm --

I feel quite bad having posted that but just wondered what others felt about it. About fives years ago now I saw a girl naked and since then I have really struggled with how it made me feel.

I'm of the opinion that people should be judged on how they act rather than what they think. This position entails acceptance that all thoughts are permissible.

I'm not arguing this from the perspective of mental health (where it might well be advisable to assess people's thoughts as an indication of their health) or religion (some religious denominations place great emphasis on policing the inner world of the faithful and fostering a culture of guilt), but from the perspective of law and morality.

I'm not proclaiming my position to be absolute or unassailable, but in my book you can fantasise about whatever you like.

There is, however, an inherent discrepancy between the title you chose for your thread and the 'confession' it contains ('thinking of girls' vs. 'I have really struggled with how it made me feel'). Do your compunctions relate to how you feel or felt (which you can do little about) or to thinking about what you saw? Or both? And in view of your other threads (on your mother and sisters), have you considered your worry may not relate to sexual attraction per se but to anxiety about experiencing such attraction?

With these questions in mind, it might be worth exploring your thoughts and feelings further on this forum to see if you can start to reconcile them with your sense of morality.

Gina, I have never acted but often think about how I may act. I'm a very confused person torn between what I know is totally wrong and what I feel I may want. Does that make sense?

mko wrote:what I feel I may want. Does that make sense?

I've placed emphasis on one particular word, which possibly tallies with the question I raised in my previous post.

I wonder whether you might be troubled more by the possibility of finding young girls attractive more than the actuality, so I think the question to ask yourself is: are you irrefutably attracted to young girls? Was your arousal at seeing this girl naked a one-off? How old was she? How did you feel? Do you generally have a lower age limit to which you are attracted? Are you attracted to adult women? Etc.

I'm not sure to be honest but I do have concerns about how I feel right now.

Even if you are thinking of a girl while pleasuring yourself it's not wrong unless you feel it causes you distress. The process of thinking is not wrong. The reason why the actions are wrong is because of the harm done. If no harm is being done, there is no rational reason for it to be wrong. Other people may not like it, but that doesn't mean something is wrong. Regardless of what some freedom hating people might believe.

Little girls are adorable and beautiful (to some of us). Why wouldn't you think of them? It's a ridiculous concept that "thought" could be wrong. It's completely internal. If there is no external manifestation, it is impossible for it to harm someone.

That said, if it is causing you distress or interferes with your life in some way, talking to a therapist about these thoughts could help. Inquire in hypotheticals until you know what your therapist must or can report by law in your country.

Personally, I agree with Gina and nothingcertain - I don't believe a thought in itself can be bad. I think it is only actions (or failure to act) that can be judged.

However if your thoughts are causing you harm, then you should consider learning how to change them.

It is not uncommon to want something that we know is wrong. When people get angry, they may want to hurt or kill people. But most people have a strong enough sense of morality, self-discipline, (or a desire not to go to jail!) to control themselves.

Mko, are you worried that you can't control your behaviour? Or are you just worried because you know what you want is wrong?

mko wrote:Is the thought of naked girls bad?

That would depend. What did she look like?