This is me... *May Trigger*

Hi I'm This is me,

I'm a male teenager with problems. It started when I was about 11-12, I was in school on one of the computers when a video on youtube caught my eye that somebody else was watching, I looked to see what it was and it was a video of some kung-fu cow (animated of course but not cartoon). I didn't realise it at the time but I found myself attracted to the cow's udders, which never bothered me until it started to develop for the worse, I soon began to find myself attracted to sheep and dogs, but more so when they were mating and eventually this then developed into pedophilia (don't ask me how, it just did). My pedophilia is not my problem though, over the past few months I have been trying to deal with it and have been doing well, I can't say I am compleatly mentally stable but I am well on my way.

Like I said though, the pedophilia is not the problem, it's my attraction towards dogs, the attraction to cows and sheep is now gone but I still remain attracted to dogs. This has become a major problem for me as every weekend when I visit my mum, she has two dogs, they are both female chocolate labradors one of them 7 yeas old and the other 3 or 4 I think, I am not attracted to the older one though, just the younger one. My attraction towards this dog then began me to start fondeling with the dog whenever we were alone and sometimes when people were not watching, I would sometimes masturbate whist doing it when I knew I wouldn't be disturbed. After a while though, fondeling was not enough for me and one night when I knew everyone was asleep, I snuck into the kitchen where the dogs slept, undressed and humped the dog, there was no atctual penetration but it was clear to see the dog did not enjoy it. Unfortunatly, that wasn't the only time, this happened at least 4 times and the fondeling is countless, I know how wrong this is and I have been able to control myself for about a month now, I have not touched the dog inapropreatly in any way since then but I have come very close.

I don't want to ever do this again, I know my attraction towards dogs may not pass over time like it did with the cows and sheep but I am hoping it does. I am not attracted to the dog itself though, just its 'privates' and I just want some help on how to control myself (prefably not medication). I don't want to say any more on my pedophilia either, I only mentioned it because it may play a part towards this attraction, yet I doubt it. Please understand that I truely regret what I have done and I am trying to find help now.

Thanks for reading.

Hi This is me, welcome to the site.

This is me wrote:I am not attracted to the dog itself though, just its 'privates'

Is this always the case when you find yourself attracted to an animal or does your attraction extend towards everything about some animals (i.e. it's just in this case that you find yourself attracted only to the genitals)?

Is this always the case when you find yourself attracted to an animal or does your attraction extend towards everything about some animals (i.e. it's just in this case that you find yourself attracted only to the genitals)?

No it's the same case for every animal, it's why I said I was attracted to the cow's udders but my fault for not making it clear sorry.

No problem, thanks for clarifying. I reckon that's not an insignificant fact. Have you attempted to explore this with a professional?

Have you attempted to explore this with a professional?

I can't really, I'm too young to see a professional without my parents finding out, which is not what I really want, them thinking I have serious problems and I rekon there is a chance of them not accepting me and possibly abandoning me, well, my father anyway.

I have some questions about your human attractions. Are you an exclusive pedophile, or are you attracted to adults as well? And are you only attracted to humans' genitalia, or to them as people?

Welcome This is me,

That's good that you've been able to control yourself for about month. It doesn't matter that you've come very close; what counts is that you were able to maintain control.

Do you have any sexual fantasies that are healthier which you could indulge in? You might want to try distracting yourself with less harmful fantasies/thoughts.

If you're worried about your parents finding out, is there a school counsellor you could see confidentially?

I have some questions about your human attractions. Are you an exclusive pedophile, or are you attracted to adults as well? And are you only attracted to humans' genitalia, or to them as people?

I'll answer these questions but I would like to keep the questions about my pedophilia to a minimum if that's ok?
I am a exclusive pedophile, and it is a bit of both. I am attracted to the body of a child (boy) but more so the genitalia especially when underwear is worn for some reason. If you are refering to the personality of a person when you say "people", then no not so much, I don't really look at personality as an attractive thing, if you get what I mean.

Do you have any sexual fantasies that are healthier which you could indulge in? You might want to try distracting yourself with less harmful fantasies/thoughts.

Not really. The only other fantasies I have are pedophilic ones which end up getting me depressed when thought about. If I tried to fantasise about anything else (e.g. Women or Men) then it would just discust me as I do not find any adult attractive.

If you're worried about your parents finding out, is there a school counsellor you could see confidentially?

There is but I doubt it would be confidential, the school counsoler has a bad reputation for not being able to keep a secret and is well known not to be trusted.

When you say that you don't look at personality as an attractive thing, do you think people can behave in a way that makes them sexy? In my mind, how people look is only a small part of what makes them attractive. I'm not saying that the way you think is wrong; I'm just curious what you mean.

Disgust is quite a strong reaction. Do you know why you may have such a strong feeling about adults?

That's a shame about the school counsellor. Actually, it's quite appalling really. You'd think that confidentiality is a basic requirement of the job! Have you got anyone else you can talk to?

When you say that you don't look at personality as an attractive thing, do you think people can behave in a way that makes them sexy?

I supose so, but what people find "sexy" differs between each person, so for me a toddler dancing in underwear would be like a hetrosexual man being with a stripper. So to be sexy (for me) is never really intentional, so it is not really a personality, if that makes sense?

Disgust is quite a strong reaction. Do you know why you may have such a strong feeling about adults?

Well, I don't mean to cause offence but I find the body of a man and woman quite repulsive, I actually find it confusing how most men are attracted to a womans body and visa versa. I just find their bodys gross especially the genitals, which obiously confuses me.

Have you got anyone else you can talk to?

No, it's why I'm here.