Worried around children

Being sexually abused as a child, I've always been afraid of becoming one myself. I love children and never think of them sexually, but when they're naked or being changed I get aches (almost painful) and feel cold in my chest and private area. I don't feel aroused but it scares me that I feel anything like that. Like feeling anything is wrong.

type-zero, I'm sorry for what happened to you. However, being molested as a child doesn't cause a person to become a child molester. If you haven't had sexual feelings toward children by this point in your life, you're never going to have them. The sensations you describe are probably related to your fears of harming a child, which is causing you to become anxious and constantly check yourself for signs of arousal. This type of anxiety is common, especially in people who were abused. You don't sound like the type of person who would ever harm a child.

The worry is the issue here as I see it, not any real danger that you'll abuse a child. That doesn't just happen, you'd have to do it intentionally, and if you've got the self-awareness to worry about it then there's little chance you'd be able to go through with it even if you wanted to, which you obviously don't. So lighten up :p

Borgesius wrote:The worry is the issue here as I see it, not any real danger that you'll abuse a child. That doesn't just happen, you'd have to do it intentionally, and if you've got the self-awareness to worry about it then there's little chance you'd be able to go through with it even if you wanted to, which you obviously don't. So lighten up :p

You said everything I wanted to say and in less words too.

Alevi wrote:

Borgesius wrote:The worry is the issue here as I see it, not any real danger that you'll abuse a child. That doesn't just happen, you'd have to do it intentionally, and if you've got the self-awareness to worry about it then there's little chance you'd be able to go through with it even if you wanted to, which you obviously don't. So lighten up :p

You said everything I wanted to say and in less words too.

I agree if you didn't worry about it and if the thought of it didn't bother you would have cause to worry. I was also abused as a child and had these same worries. I have 5 kids and have had weird thoughst that horrified me and therapy helped to me to see why and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. If it keeps bothering you to the point that it is a serious issue. Get help there is no shame in it and you will be better off for it. good luck to you

I agree with what has already been said. I am also a child abuse survivor. I lived with my Aunty and her 3 & 4 year old sons. To help her out, I would do as much care for the children as I could, which included bath times, and was paranoid that I would do something inappropriate. Never did, and thanks to that I doubt I ever will.

Being abused in the past doesn't set our future.