I just want to know a few things...

**Venting on**

So I've read a lot of posts in this forum in the last few days, and as a "non-active" pedophile, I have a few questions:

First, if pedophilia disturbs people so much, and if the pedophiles here are so disgusting, sick and evil -- and beyond all redemption in life -- why do they read the pedophile's posts? If the victim readers are so damaged by their abuse (which I don't doubt they are, by the way, as I am a victim myself -- but somehow my victim status doesn't count), why do they read the paraphilia forum?

Secondly, what do people who are so disgusted yet still reading want me to do? The harsh but true reality is that I am a pedophile, and another reality you may not like is that no matter how much you berate us, shame us, and consider us beneath you as human beings, it will not change the pedophile's feelings and/or attractions. In fact, while your intentions of protecting children are good, I feel blind emotion contributes to the abuse of more children in the long run. I feel you can protect children a lot more effectively by understanding who abuse them fully -- not selectively.

Sometimes I feel like people won't be happy, and will never trust me, unless I stick a gun in my mouth and pull, no matter if I've done anything or not in the past. I think I could do 10,000 years of treatment and people would assume I'm no more safe than before.

I just want to say that I'm not your abuser...and I would appreciate it if you don't take your hatred for him/her out on me.

**Venting off**

Thank you, I feel better. lol

Well, I just read another thread (paraphilias/topic13892-90.html), and I must say that it has made me quite paranoid, and honestly I feel afraid to put anything here anymore for fear of something being misconstrued by someone with a huge sense of anger at their abuser (and in turn all pedophiles), or SOMETHING, and a position of power. The impression I got from the thread is that site admins and/or moderators sift through every word (and their interpretation of words) of paraphiliacs' posts with a fine-toothed comb looking for something (anything) to report. Is this true?

HYPOTHETICALLY, if I said I saw this kid at a pool and I looked for 3 seconds and then got my mind back in the right place, am I going to find Capt. O'Malley at my door for being some kind of peeping tom against kids?

I guess I feel that while they are right to report abuse, obviously, and should report abuse, I think the sense of paranoia and fear instilled by this almost ...I don't know the phrase best to describe it....vigilante attitude...

Actually so far this site has been responsible for the arrest of several people on different crimes that they have admitted. It's something that we're quite proud of.

is somewhat counterproductive. I mean he almost sounded excited about that, by his tone; like he's making another hash mark for the good guys. I feel this attitude only will make a lot of guys and gals not post -- and perhaps go molest a child instead. I also question if people with such a specific bone to pick should be moderating a forum with pedophiles, especially if they're obviously excited to throw another one in the clink?

Should pedophiles here fear every word they write will be analyzed and scrutinized by someone looking to take them down with anything they can under the guise of being here as a place of support? Because that's honestly how it is feeling in my head right now. I could be wrong. Please inform me.

I'm just trying to find a place to get support and live more healthily, you know? So I DON'T break the law! I hope my efforts at safety are not nullified by an overzealous person in a position of power over the pedophiles here trying to get help, too.

Hi Andy,

There are many moderators and admins on this site, but their purpose is not to go over anyone's posts with a fine-tooth comb. I think we're here to ensure the forum rules are adhered to. Sometimes we help to keep the peace when arguments break-out, or provide support when people are suffering from their various issues.

In the case of illegal activities, we do have some mandatory reporting procedures. But they need not apply if you, or anyone else, merely comments on a naked child they see at a swimming pool.

If you or anybody else wrote that you were going to commit a violent or abusive crime, or that you are in the process of committing such a crime, and the context wasn't as a discussion about a dream or some other fantasy, I believe the post could be referred to law enforcement agencies by our senior moderators. I think it would be negligent if we allowed someone to boast of their abusive crimes and did not act. But this goes for all sorts of violent or sexual crimes - it is not a special rule that applies to paedophiles only.

I very much want this to be a space where people with all types of paraphilias can seek advice and support each other. If you or anybody else reading this, feels they are being harassed by someone else on the forum, you are welcome to PM me. As long as nobody here is trying to break the law or is disrespectful to other members of the forum (bearing in mind that some of them may have suffered sexual abuse), I will do what I can to support you.

I really hope you can use this site to get the support and help you want.

AnonymousAndy wrote:First, if pedophilia disturbs people so much, and if the pedophiles here are so disgusting, sick and evil -- and beyond all redemption in life -- why do they read the pedophile's posts? If the victim readers are so damaged by their abuse (which I don't doubt they are, by the way, as I am a victim myself -- but somehow my victim status doesn't count), why do they read the paraphilia forum?

I think sometimes they come to this section of the forum just out of curiosity, and it ends up upsetting them so they post. Some people have issues from their past that they are going to try to take out on people who don't deserve it. Deep-seated anger from past abuse can make one behave irrationally. I'm sure this must happen in other sections of the forum as well, not just this one.

For a forum about paraphilias I find this one to be quite civil. People are comparatively well restrained. I have seen people post for advice about dealing with their pedophilia on other (general interest) forums, and they often get some really nasty responses, because people just don't understand.

AnonymousAndy wrote:Should pedophiles here fear every word they write will be analyzed and scrutinized by someone looking to take them down with anything they can under the guise of being here as a place of support? Because that's honestly how it is feeling in my head right now. I could be wrong. Please inform me.

I think Platypus did a good job explaining this, but I should also point out that when it comes to people who admit to abusing children, the admins may not have a choice in reporting them. The laws in some places mandate that all persons who become aware of child abuse must report it. I'm not sure what jurisdiction this forum falls under, however, so I cannot comment on that. They are trying to balance anonymity with the law.

I get that the admins don't have a choice and I agree that they should report abuse, of course...I'm all for reporting, I would never want a child to continue to be abused. I guess my point was that I've gotten the impression that some mods/admits (not all) were combing through every word looking for something to report -- and in the threads I've read, they seemed a little too excited to do so, as if it were something to have fun doing, sending people to prison, and they were all high-fiving each other after. Some of them sounded too vigilante in my viewpoint to be in charge of a group of paraphiliacs, and I was only explaining my fear that they would take something I say way out of context and trigger-happily report it, not thinking of what it was they were doing. I don't want someone with a vengeance plan reporting me just because they are disgusted by my pedophilia and consider me their abuser. That was my only point.

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Andy, I cannot speak of what happened in the past with other moderators, because I simply don't know. However, I would be wary about judging something like excitement - sometimes it is hard to tell tone and emotions from text alone. Speaking for myself, I abhor vigilantism, and think that it is up to the law, not the common person to judge or punish someone else. I understand your fear and hope you will trust me. If you do not break the law, and do not write that you intend to break the law, there is no reason for anyone to report your posts. That goes for all the other users here. As you seem committed to seeking support and controlling your paedophilia, I do not think you need to worry.

Personally, if I did have to report your posts because you wrote about paedophiliac crimes, I would not be happy or high-fiving anyone. I would be saddened and disappointed that you were not able to get the support you needed and able to control your paraphilia. There is no joy in crime or abuse...perhaps except for the lawyers or the media.


Who is "they" 322? I hope you are not including me. I volunteered to moderate this forum, and I do not feel that I match any of your statements about what "they" want or think. I suspect that many of the things that make you angry or upset about "they" are also things I dislike about society. So if you like, we can have a sense of community here against the ignorant herd who choose to hate and judge rather than to understand.

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Thank you 322.

I suppose I just want to let the users here know that it's not the whole world that is against you. I'm sure it is really tough for many of you. And I know that some of you will have suffered from abuse in the past, and that you are still hurting. But there are people who care and will support you - whether they are other users here, professional therapists, or your family and friends. Please use all the help you can get. Build yourself a happier life.

Don't wait for society's attitude to change. I'm sure it'll happen in time...people (surprisingly!) do eventually get smarter. (Look at how mental illness or homosexuality is becoming more acceptable and understood in many parts of the world.) But social advances are slow, and we each only have so much time alive.

322 wrote:

AnonymousAndy wrote:Secondly, what do people who are so disgusted yet still reading want me to do?

They want you to die. Nothing you could ever do or say would ever satisfy them as much as your death.

Probably a true assessment, but there are plenty of intelligent people out there that might well feel otherwise if they educated themselves. It was only a few decades ago that these same 'normal', intelligent mainstream thinkers would have been equally against homsexuals. I am not a paedophile, but I am of the opinion that people should be judged on their actions rather than their feelings.

The irony is that some of the less intelligent members of society's righteous majority often peddle arguments like "they should all be sent to an island" as some noble alternative to gassing all of a certain community (homosexuals, paedophiles, terrorists, communists, people who have garden gnomes in their garden... well, maybe not the last one!). Of course, it's not homosexuals or paedophiles that create homosexuals or paedophiles - it's ordinary heterosexual couples. Banish or gas every last one, and within a generation you'll have millions more. The best way to deal with issues in society is to face them responsibly and with compassion and intellectual interest and deal with them in an inclusive, open environment.