Having a bit of a problem with pedophilia

Im a 28 yrs old woman and I have been struggeling with Pedophilia for a few years now, Ive never told anyone about this until about a year ago and the doctor I told didnt react really well... it took me a while to open up to another doctor and he was a little better about it but he said that its really uncommon for girls to feel this way, Is that true?
I have never done anything to hurt anyone, and I awoid children at all cost... I dont even spend time with my little nices and nefues (sorry about the spelling)
But is there a way to get better? to stop feeling this way? I live in a really small comunity and all I hear is that anyone with my feelings is a monster, I try not to let it get me down but its hard.
I dont really know why Im writing this here, maybe just to get some reasurrance and to get to know someone who is like me.
but thanks for reading
Lov from Icegirl

I'm not an expert on this issue, but I can try and answer from what little I have read and been told.

Icegirl wrote:... really uncommon for girls to feel this way, Is that true?

Apparently yes, but that would be splitting hairs a little bit, as it is uncommon for men also.
And besides, most molesters aren't actually pedophiles, meaning that they aren't really attracted to children in and of itself, there are many other reasons.

So there's no need to fixate on the degree of how unusual this is.

Also, recently one has begun to make the distinction between pedophilia as a love attraction and pedosexuality as a sexual attraction. Meaning you can be romantically attracted to children, but not wanting sex with them, and also the other way around.

And for pedophilia, one can be exclusively pedophilic, wanting only to be with children, or non-exclusive.

Icegirl wrote:I have never done anything to hurt anyone, and I awoid children at all cost... I dont even spend time with my little nices and nefues (sorry about the spelling)

Well, that's something you have to think about yourself, but I don't think it's a very good idea to make yourself think that you will end up doing something bad just by being in a situation where you COULD do something bad.
Most regular heterosexuals are not rapists, and don't need to avoid persons of the opposite gender, after all.

Icegirl wrote:But is there a way to ... stop feeling this way?

I don't think you can just tell your heart to not like who you like, no.
Your heart is you at your innermost, after all, and just like everybody else, it's your life and your responsibility to channel your love in a positive, constructive, and healthy direction.

I don't think that's going to be easy, if you don't accept and love yourself. After all, the saying "love thy neighbour as thyself" DOES require you to love yourself, first of all.

Icegirl wrote:I live in a really small comunity and all I hear is that anyone with my feelings is a monster, I try not to let it get me down but its hard.

People in small communities are not the most accepting bunch. You could probably have been collecting stamps and people would talk about how crazy you were.

I think maybe what would be good for you, is to work on forgiving and accepting yourself for being you. If you can't manage to do that, ask somebody to do it for you, first. Somebody mature, who you trust and respect, ideally. You might not find such a person straight away, but keep looking.

Icegirl wrote:I dont really know why Im writing this here, maybe just to get some reasurrance and to get to know someone who is like me.

Not a problem. I can't help much myself, but here's a thread which maybe you can read "Spør en pedofil!".

Hi Icegirl,

I don't think you are a monster. You said yourself that you have never done anything to hurt anyone.

Your thoughts don't have to lead to actions. To become a monster you would have to act on your harmful thoughts, which you have not done.

Have you considered seeing a therapist to talk about your pedophilia? They may be able to help you understand why you have these thoughts, and help you to gain control over them.

Thank you for your reply Alevi its given me alot to think about...

and Platypus I am seeing a therapist about this, but its going slowly because of other issues, but still alot better than keeping it to myself and never telling anyone ... I know that Im not a monster but the self hate I feel from time to time is overwhelming ... But thanks so much for your reply

I don't think it is uncommon for women to feel the way you do, certianly there were women around when I was growing up that were having these thoughts and some acting on them. I just think it get reported less.
I think you are doing the right thing in opening up and searching for answers. I am no expert, but my personal thoughts are what turns us on in life is formed very early in life and the strong feelings stay with us for life. How we deal with it is up to us to control. It can be very hard for some to control certian feelings and it is important to find a way to do so. You are on the right track in exploring the ways that will help you.
Good job in doing so!!

As a pedophile myself I deal with self hate all the time and it kind of sucks to feel that way. Yeah society as a whole thinks that you are a monster no matter what you do or don't do. They automatically think that you are a child molester even if you aren't. It is really hard to swallow when you realize that you are attracted to children. There are days all the time where I wish that I wasn't and that I was normal, yet then there is other days where I think I am unique because I am this way. It is def a hard life to live being a pedophile but this is the way it is for me. I think society embraces women that have any problems like this over men all the time so people will be more prone to understanding and helping you than they will a man. Good Luck

i'm a 21 year old girl and I feel the same way.. I have never told anybody about this, ever.. not even my therapist.. probably never will.. I don't think i'd ever act on it so that's why i never thought to mention it.. is it weird for girls my age to like it?