Voraphilia (People as food)

I do discuss the crossing of cannibalism and sexuality below. If that's going to make you ill, you might not want to read this.

I have a cannibalism fetish. Whenever I get aroused, my fantasies go right to cannibalism, and usually when I think of cannibalism, I get aroused. It's been this way since I hit puberty, nearly 20 years ago.

I have never harmed anyone and don't think I ever will. There are actually a few people who've offered to let me kill and eat them, and I told them "no thanks" because I'm not really a killer. They had the opposite fetish. They fantasized about being a meal. In my fantasies, that's very common for prey. Perhaps that's my morality seeping into my fantasies.

It's especially annoying when this manifests as a craving. When I see a woman who's got nice skin, and I just want to slice it up, cutting her up for meat... To see her bleed, and taste her cooked flesh... (Then I feel bad because I'm imagining harming this woman and that's just not nice.) How is it possible to have such a strong craving for something I've never had?

Sometimes I'll have this craving if I'm hungry or frustrated too, and in those cases, I'm not necessarily horny. This part is more recent. I do not crave any of the foods that I do eat. I used to crave coffee, but I haven't had any in a long time. Usually, the signal that I need to eat is stomach pain, a headache or dizziness. This has always been the case for me.

There are also several reasons why this doesn't even make any sense. One of those is that I actually have more respect for women than for men. Another is that I almost don't eat meat. There's one specific order from McDonald's that I eat (double cheeseburger, only cheese & ketchup), and it barely even counts as eating meat. Besides that, I get all my protein from milk, not meat.

A third reason is that I'm easily repulsed by strong smells, even ones most people find pleasant, and I'm sure an open corpse is going to smell awful, with all the intestines and digestive goops. The smell issue has restricted my diet a lot and given me actual phobias related to food that rival the natural fear of death. I'm sure my mind multiplies the physical effect of such smells to be more than it is.

There are no events I can think of that could've triggered this. There are a few forms of fiction that had people swallowed in them. Monstro in Pinocchio... A skit in The Muppet Show where this guy was swallowed by a large brown "monster" muppet... Just about every cartoon had one episode inside someone's body... I always found these sorts of things a bit more interesting at the time, but not sexually, as I had no sexuality yet. Once I hit puberty, I found the idea of people being swallowed by monsters sexy. Eventually snakes too (snake vore)... Then animals who bite... Then suburban cannibals (Dolcett)... And finally with myself being the predator. All of these fantasies fall within "voraphilia", as far as I know.

I'm sure I'll never kill anyone, but I also don't want to want to kill anyone. What advice can anyone give me?

Hi SBres,

You have described your fetish well, and thanks for including a warning for other users who may be reading.

What kind of advice are you looking for? You seem to have a have good grip on why this fetish is illogical for you. Is this fetish troubling you? Is it negatively affecting your relationships or sex life?

It frustrates me. To crave something so strongly while knowing I can't have it (for a variety of good reasons).

Also, often enough, I imagine eating girls I see or know, then I feel guilt over it.

Seeing the escalation of it scares me a bit too. This did not used to happen when I wasn't horny. That's new. Also, I don't think I could've described it as a craving a few years ago. A strong fetish, certainly. But not an actual craving like it gets to now.

In the past 3 months, 4 people offered their lives and meat to me (online). It takes all my self control to say "no thanks", especially with the one that argued with me for about an hour after I declined. If someone makes this offer to me offline... Especially if they push me towards doing it... Well, that shouldn't happen hopefully, since no one offline knows about my fetish.

I also do have some of the mental traits common among serial killers. I'm not a sociopath, but I can relate to enough of them. As for not being a sociopath, being able to have empathy for someone who gets off on being murdered does not help towards not murdering them. I'm not morally opposed to assisted suicide, which is technically part of my fantasies here.

I have an uncle who's paranoid skitzo too. He tried to kill his own mother to inherit her house. (He has not been treated and still lives with my grandma, in her house.) It's possible that this sort of insanity is in my genes somewhere waiting to be triggered. I've also heard that I could have a predisposition to skitzo for other reasons too.

I know, in detail, exactly what I'd do. I've thought about the situation realistically. How to make death as pleasurable as possible for the victim... Where online to find instructions for butchering a human... What to do with almost every part of their body (not completely sure what to do with the internal organs yet. They're generally not edible.) Even a couple of potential recipes.

My diet is all foods that are bland and sweet. Guess what two words people who've tried cannibalism always tend to use to describe the taste of human flesh?

Does that make it clearer why I want to get rid of it somehow?

Unfortunately, there are no psychologists near enough to me that I can ride my bicycle to. I don't currently have a car. (Psychiatrists are not an option to me.)

Hi SBres,

Thanks for explaining more of your situation.

If you don't want this fetish to be so present in you life, I think you need to stop feeding it!

You mentioned people have offered their lives/bodies to you. How did they know you have voraphilia? It doesn't seem like the kind of thing people would talk about in everyday conversation. So I'd assume that you must have told them about your paraphilia? If so, then you created the temptation. You set the scene for people to tell you they were keen on being eaten, and for you then to have to resist that temptation. Don't make it so hard on yourself!

I'm not saying you shouldn't tell anyone about your voraphilia, as sometimes talking about problems helps us gain control over them. But tell the right people; someone you can go to for help and advice. Don't tell people who are going to encourage or reinforce your cravings if you are trying to gain control of them.

Remember that you can control what you think about. It may take some practice, but if you don't want to think about eating people, you don't have to.

You could even try turning it into a game. Next time you see a woman and start to think about eating her, stop yourself. Think about something else. You could try to guess her name or what kind of job she has in your mind instead. Keep your mind busy with something other than eating. (I was going to suggest you could try to guess her bra size, but I don't want you to offend anybody or encourage you to objectify women! But think about something that is fun for you, so that you aren't as tempted to drift back into voraphilia fantasies.)

Is there any public transport you can use to get to a psychologist? If not, there are online counsellors and psychologists available. I have used an online psychologist before, which was helpful to me.

Hello SBres,

I'm a vorarephile too, so I can relate to some of what you are saying here, although my specific interests are very different from yours. One big difference though is that I've never even considered hurting someone that way in real life, whereas it seems that you've given a lot of serious thought to the matter. That's the main reason why I agree with Platypus, that you should either seek therapy if possible or find ways to re-train your mind out of legitimately considering harming or killing others. I think cutting off contact with any of those people online who have or might offer themselves to you in that way is very important right now. Have you ever tried expressing your paraphilia in another way, such as through writing fiction about it, just for yourself? Of course there's the chance that focusing on it in this way will only intensify your craving, but for me getting some of my fantasies down in prose helps relieve my mind of them for a time.

Best Wishes,
Basilisk

I've gone back and forth through phases of "Meh, as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I'm fine. I'll just enjoy it." and "Geez, is there something seriously wrong with me?"

Right now, I'm obviously in the latter stage again.

The first time I was in this stage, I tried ignoring it, and pushing voraphiliac thoughts away each time they came up. I deleted all the voraphile porn I had downloaded and everything. Ignoring it actually made it stronger. That's when it grew from only people being swallowed whole to include bloodier, more painful fantasies.

I've tried posting and chatting on sites with other voraphiles. Seeing that they have the same sort of situation and aren't serial killers helped me realize there's nothing wrong with thinking these things as long as no one really gets hurt.

Of course, there are occasionally people who do it, probably. One of the communities I've joined is the same group of people that Armin Miewes found his meal with, so I don't doubt that there are a few real killers there.

I have shared my fantasies there and listened to other's fantasies. I've both read and written stories. In general, the forums tend to be all fantasies, images and stories. If someone posts that they really want to do it, they get blasted by everyone else about all the reasons not to. It's the chatrooms that get people who take things beyond fantasy. I've noticed that most people who chat in the chatrooms have 0-5 posts on the board. The chatrooms are also where roleplay happens though, and is a more immediate satisfaction than chat. All four people who offered themselves to me did so in chatrooms. So... Maybe I should stop going into the chatrooms completely, like you suggested.

One of those four was a guy. He wanted a specific death that was impossible. I explained this to him and why it was impossible. He gave up. I've seen him sign on plenty of times since then. (I could say why it was impossible, but it's rather graphic to explain, and I doubt many people here would appreciate such graphic details very much. That's part of why I haven't described my fantasy scenario in detail either.)

Of the three girls, one said she'd been hoping to find someone (with an industrial sized oven) to eat her for a while, but everyone she found backed out at the last minute. She didn't directly offer, but heavily implied. She was the most recent I've spoken to (about 15 minutes before my first post here). I've seen her sign on since then as well. I had suggested to her that she try something like an oven prop of some sort to play with, that way she could have that experience many times instead of just once. She could probably make it warm without making it deadly hot. (I also mentioned not to use anything with gas as that could kill her anyway.)

One responded to my "no thanks" with something along the lines of "Oh well, I'm sure I can find someone else." That was pretty much the entirety of the conversation.

And finally, the first one that ever asked did so in open chat instead of PMs. She then proceeded to argue with me for about an hour trying to explain away every reason I gave for not killing her. She's also 55 and a grandmother. I'm not sure how she thought telling someone that she had a family was going to make it easier for them to kill her...

I have noticed that most other voraphile's fantasies are impossible (though much more painful). My OCD tends to correct that for me. If my fantasies remained impossible, I would probably have less of an issue.

Another thing I've done, very recently, is try feeding other things I find kinky and hoping something else takes over as a primary fetish. Perhaps a form of sadism that a girl can heal completely from. I've done a bit of impact play. I've noticed that no one I've met in "the scene" has been fantasized about as a potential meal, which may mean that that's a good answer... But at the same time, I can spank someone one day, and two days later, still imagine eating someone while I'm on my way to pick up lunch. Maybe I just need to give it more time. I dunno.

In addition to this thread, I had posted on the dark fetish forums I've been going to asking how other people deal with similar cravings. Some don't seem to get actual cravings, keeping it entirely in fantasy. Some go as far as knifeplay or fireplay. One is even getting labiaplasty and asking to keep what's removed.

There is no local public transportation. I'd need to take a taxi, at about $50 each way. You'd think, being in a city, that they'd have something better.

SBres wrote:She's also 55 and a grandmother. I'm not sure how she thought telling someone that she had a family was going to make it easier for them to kill her...

I think it's important to remain clear about the fact that almost everyone, even the most willing of participants, will have family, friends, loved ones.

That's an excellent point. Even if they want to die, there are more people who would want them to live. Pleasure for two, perhaps, but misery for more. I'll try thinking about this fact whenever it comes up. If my mind wants to OCD about this being more realistic, then realistic is what it's gonna get.

It's their life/body, and they're likely to be able to find someone else to give it to if not me. But if I'm the one to receive it, then I'm also the one hurting all the people that person is connected to. Those people aren't going to consent to that, so I'm not comfortable with doing it.

Thanks a lot.

hi what was the site that Armin Miewes had belonged to that you were referencing earlier please?

montner wrote:hi what was the site that Armin Miewes had belonged to that you were referencing earlier please?

That site was Carnivore Cafe. The site no longer exists, but the guy who ran it created another site, and a lot of the same people moved to that one, so it's pretty much the same community.