How does pedophilia come about?

To the people out there with pedophilia, how did start?

Were you always attracted to younger kids or did you used to be attracted to the opposite sex your own age and then you changed?

Hi kidcudi14,

Well, with this specific question, to be honest, the short answer is nobody knows what causes it. But if you mean about our awareness of waking up to being a pedophile, it happens younger than most people seem to realize - anywhere from 12/13 onwards by some accounts - and when you do realize it, it pretty much smacks you in the face and is very obvious.

I've posted a proper reply to you in the other thread so i'll divert you there for your specific issue.

All the best.

The only time I've been particularly attracted to people my own age was when I was a kid, and back then I didn't really have much interest to speak of. But I've been interested in younger people as long as I can remember - I distinctly recall a thing I had for kirsten dunst in jumanji, and I was four when I saw that!

Incidentally, she's 13 in that but she looks and dresses like a 10 year old - she still looks like a little girl today and everyone fawns over her. You ever notice how many idolized actresses and actors look like kids, and how many child stars look younger than they are? Natalie Portman and Leo DiCaprio come to mind. Seems Hollywood has its eye on a demographic nobody wants to admit exists.

Hey Borgesius, have you ever read James Kincaid's book "Erotic Innocence"? If not, you can get it on google books, might be right up your street as it goes into that point quite a bit.

p.s. you were 4 when you saw Jumanji??!! Geez, i feel old. But, what did you think of Peter?

Kidcudi - from reading your other posts it is clear that you have POCD rather than paedophilia, and these repeated posts are a symptom of the OCD...a checking compulsion.
I know because I have OCD too, and also have the fear of being a paedophile.
It comes and goes, but recently I have been quite panicky about it. I remember seeing my little sister in the bath and being aroused by her 'parts', but I don't know if this is just because it is a sexual area in general, or I was over-thinking it.
I am bisexual and attracted to both adult males and females. But I get worried over the fact that I am aroused by the thought of a child's vagina, but not so much children in general. For those who suffer from paedophilia, what do you think? I thought maybe it was because I am turned on by adult shaved genitals, so a child's doesnt look much different, and that's why I'm able to get aroused by the thought. I also tried to imagine sex with a 12 year old girl to see if it aroused me and it did... I felt so wrong about this but it was as though I can remember being a 12 year old girl, and just starting to get sexual feelings, and the idea of girls going into puberty and getting aroused is taboo and a turn on. Mostly because I remember what it was like to feel like that. Is that normal?
I know I am more attracted to adults. But I fear that this may be more than OCD and I might actually have paedophilic tendencies.

Hey kidcudi14,

Were you always attracted to younger kids or did you used to be attracted to the opposite sex your own age and then you changed?

I personally think this depends on the person you are asking, I personally wasn't interested in anybody until I was about 12/13 when I realised I was attracted to a boy several years younger than me but other people will be different I am guessing.

For those who suffer from paedophilia, what do you think? I thought maybe it was because I am turned on by adult shaved genitals, so a child's doesnt look much different, and that's why I'm able to get aroused by the thought.

elfie24 I am sorry but I don't have the answer to this one, I just wanted to quote this because I don't think this question should go unanswered, maybe you should start a new topic?

For me I kind of realized I was a pedophile when I was 11 or 12 when I noticed I was attracted to way younger kids than myself. I was attracted to my friends 2yo sister when I was 11 and I thought that was very odd. I kind of hid the feelings until I was in high school when I realized that the feelings were still there and it was all that I could ever think about. Then it was when I was in my twenties where I pretty much embraced the fact that I was a pedophile and that it wasn't a phase and that I was most likely born this way because there is no way in hell that I would want to be this way on purpose.

Yet I have never had a strong attraction to adults in a sexual way, I have had sexual experiences with both men and women in my lifetime but it was just to see if I could live that way and be attracted to them. Though majority of my desires was for children and still is.

Blben wrote:For me I kind of realized I was a pedophile when I was 11 or 12 when I noticed I was attracted to way younger kids than myself. I was attracted to my friends 2yo sister when I was 11 and I thought that was very odd. I kind of hid the feelings until I was in high school when I realized that the feelings were still there and it was all that I could ever think about. Then it was when I was in my twenties where I pretty much embraced the fact that I was a pedophile and that it wasn't a phase and that I was most likely born this way because there is no way in hell that I would want to be this way on purpose.

Yet I have never had a strong attraction to adults in a sexual way, I have had sexual experiences with both men and women in my lifetime but it was just to see if I could live that way and be attracted to them. Though majority of my desires was for children and still is.

@Blben

My experience is very very similar to yours growing up and as an adult. I'm a pedophile too and I've never heard someone's story so similar to mine, it's uncanny; the only major difference is that I'm attracted to young boys (average range being 1-5, but can sometimes go up to 10 and once in a million up to 13).

I remember how gradual it came to the top of my mind, starting at 11 or so to now -- and the lynchpin was when I was a senior in high school (17 and 18 years old) and volunteering in a kindergarten classroom (it was a requirement to volunteer for my high school program) and literally started feeling emotionally and physically "in love" with this one boy. I think it was around then that I was literally like "oh, crap, I'm attracted to kids." I knew on an unconscious level before then but never admitted it and never brought it out of the darkness that I can really remember. I remember just thinking as a 13 year old or whatever that being attracted to an 8 year old was just being gay. I didn't know another word for it, I guess.

I'm now 30, and have an adult male partner, and while I love him and am in love with him, we struggle a lot in the physical attraction and physical intimacy department. He knows of my pedophilia and is very understanding, but he requests that when we make love that I don't think of kids. It's hard for me because most times if I don't I cannot "finish the job." So usually we don't have a lot of sex. I don't really know how to resolve this.

But as for the topic question, for me, I think my pedophilia developed similarly to how others' sexualities developed. I don't think there was a lot of differences between me and my peers' sexual orientation development, save for the age. I wasn't too unusual of a teenager: I wasn't more or less sexually obsessed, sadistic, isolated, weird, or different than my peers. I don't think there's one thing that I could point to that said LOOK that's what differentiated my feelings, except for the age I fantasized about at night. I don't know how to put it into words...

I guess the bottom line is that I just imagine it came about the same as other sexualities, just the ages were younger than usual. I don't really remember a time when I was once "normal" and then I was not. I remember having relationships with people my age (at different ages) but I'm not sure I was ever truly into it. I think I did it because dating age-mates was just the normal and socially acceptable thing to do.

I really believe it's just an abnormal sexuality -- yet one that can never be acted on, of course. For me, I think it's pointless trying to make the feelings go away (i.e. trying to stop masturbating or noticing kids in public). I've tried for almost 20 years. It's been more useful to me to learn to live safely and legally with it, because just like a gay or straight person can't change their sexuality, I don't know if I can change mine in the same way. Usually I just don't hang around or have close relationships with kids unless their parents or guardians know about my feelings.

- anonymousandy

I can't believe you were able to come out, if any fashion. Thats insane to me.

Anyway, I first noticed when I started to masturbate, I guess. I was around 12, and I would masturbate to girls as young as like seven. I was hypersexual as a kid too (kind of still am). I have vvid memories of checking out younger girls trying to decide when I started being attracted to them. None in first grade, some in second then pretty steady third on up. I was attracted to adults too, though.

I've has the same age of attraction for as long as I can remember.

nothingcertain wrote:- anonymousandy

I can't believe you were able to come out, if any fashion. Thats insane to me.

Anyway, I first noticed when I started to masturbate, I guess. I was around 12, and I would masturbate to girls as young as like seven. I was hypersexual as a kid too (kind of still am). I have vvid memories of checking out younger girls trying to decide when I started being attracted to them. None in first grade, some in second then pretty steady third on up. I was attracted to adults too, though.

I've has the same age of attraction for as long as I can remember.

I've told 6 friends about my pedophilia and they are all very understanding