Pyrophilia problem

Hi, everybody
I could use a piece of advice. This forum seems to be serious enough, so I hope I will get some results. Just for the record, what I am going to talk about, is only a matter of fantasy (just thoughts, no deeds , if you know what I mean). Ok, then... Since childhood I have been having sexual fantasies that involve fire. Back then, I did not realize what it was and it did not bother me much. But later on I realized that it was not quite right to feel that way. It got worse with time, because it started to be more intense. And another thing... it is not just liking the fire as such, it involves violent fantasies... witch-burning stuff etc. I have done some research on the internet and have figured out, that there was actually a community of people with the same fetish/obsession or whatever you may call it. There are even several sites about this (for obvious reasons I have no wish to post them here) and it involves (usually) young women in perilous situations of mentioned kind. Anyway, I have found out, that this was some kind of Pyrophilia (with the elements of sadism... I am afraid). So, now that I know, what it was, I would like to know how to manage it. I try to accept it as long as it is not interfering with my normal life, but... its kind of hard, you know. I feel really guilty about it (well, who wouldnt, right?) You see... its really just about sexual fantasies, but yet I would like to find a way to make it less intense or to get rid of it for good (which I do not hope for very much). So, if there is any of you, who would feel the same (but I of course appreciate any feedback) please, lets talk about it. I will really appreciate any advice but I dont want to hear things like "You freeeeaaak" , ok? So, thats quite it, I appologize for this long post.

Hi, firelover! Have you ever tried to figure out why you have this fetish/paraphilia, with the help of a therapist? Maybe it would help you keep it under control. I moved your post to the paraphilia forum, I'm sure people will have suggestions.

Hi, jasmin. Thanks for the response. I have considered the possibility of going to a therapist of course, I am keeping it as an option, but I would prefer to get over it myself. I probably would not feel comfortable sharing it with somebody, you see. Thats why I am asking here, first. Anyway, I am usually able to manage it myself, what I am more looking for is an explanation... why do such things even come to ones mind, right? I hope, that by understanding the nature of the problem, it would be much easier to get rid of it.

Well, you said that these fantasies are violent. I'd think that some people who have sadistic fantasies have been abused or badly neglected so they feel a lot of resentment and it manifests sexually. You might not find the explanation that best suits you on a forum, but I hope this place will help you.

Well, not really my problem. I certainly have not been abused or anything like it or badly neglected. I used to have problem fitting in a collective and did not have many friends, it got better with time, though. Thanks for writing, any suggestion helps

So did these fantasies show up when you were feeling ignored and rejected? We can just chat about it, if you want, I'm sorry if I'm making you feel uncomfortable.

its ok, thanks for your time I would not say rejected or ignored, I have friends and we go out frequently. I used to be lonely, when I was younger. But its true that it all gets worse when I am alone (when there is time to pay attention to it). Also stress makes it more intense. But these are just catalyzers. But what scares me is, where do these things comes from? I mean, normally, when people feel alone or stressed, they get depressed, but wont start having violent fantasies. Thats what I am trying to figure out.

Well, I told you what I think about it. Maybe someone else will come along and "enlighten" us.

Hello firelover,

I don't think anyone can really explain what causes someone to have this type of violent fantasy. I've never been abused or neglected either, and I am usually not rejected or ignored, yet I too have a violent paraphilia. So I don't know if anyone will be able to tell us exactly why this happens.

But regardless of that slightly pessimistic opinion, I do hope you find the answers you're looking for. ^^;

Best Wishes,
Basilisk

Hello Basilisk
Sorry it took me so long to respond. Thanks for posting. I know its pretty hard to get to understand these sort of things. I think one has to figure out some way to live with it. You said you had some sort of paraphilia too, right? May I ask... how do you cope with that? I mean, do you accept it or suppress it or what? And do you think one can handle it alone, without a professional help? You see, in my case, sometimes its better and I do not even know about it. But then it gets worse and it even prevents me from concentrating (which can obviously be a problem, I have really much work to do).