Masochistic Tendencies =(

Hello, good day, and all those nice introductions-

I am a 15-year old masochist,
thought not the worst I've ever heard of
I'm not at all interested in pain itself without a sexual aspect to it.
Purely physical as well, I hate emotional stress.

I've been struggling to come to terms with it, and I really need to just get it off my chest that I hate being this way. I do not feel at all comfortable speaking to anyone about it or seeking out help. Currently, only my best friend has pieced it together, and I wish she hadn't to be honest, even though she tells me nothing is wrong with it.

I've been dating a perfectly suitable young man for a while now who is possibly one of the kindest boys I have ever met, and it makes me upset that I have these fantasies about him, well, you know, beating me and such.
He's a biter on his own, which honestly surprises me because he didn't seem the type at first, but this just reinforces my want for more.
The worst part is that he has absolutely no idea I am a masochist, and I've been desperately wanting to tell him. I'm afraid of how he would react, that he would be confused and upset of the idea that I would want someone to hurt me. But despite how emotionally stable the relationship is, it simply isn't satisfying for me sexually. But I want to stay with him so badly, I just want him to understand.
I don't know how I'm supposed to let him know this fact about me, and how I want him to play a role in it, when I've never actually even told anyone about it in my entire life because I've been too embarrassed?

Help, advice, anything?

Thanks much,
have a nice day.

Hi,

You could try to build-up to the point where you would be in a position to tell him about your masochism. For example, tell him 'slight truths' that you are yet to tell him, but ones which you had previously kept from him because they are also private issues. Once it seems that he is growing more accepting of you for who you are, maybe the time would come for you to tell him about the masochism. I don't suggest you just blurt it out some day.

Its' important to realise too that there is nothing wrong with having these feelings - absolutely nothing. Sexual fantasies come in every shape and form. it just so happens that masochism is a rather common one such that it has its own name. I don't know what type of guy your partner is, but I'm doubtful that any guy would suddenly 'jump ship' upon learning that his partner is a masochist.

Kevin