I hate the thought

I don't know any other way to start but say I hate the thought. I have thoughts about this one kid don't really know why it started but it bothers me so bad. I was molested when I was younger and moved past it, but now I have thoughts about this one kid, not around or in the picture but it still bothers me. I want more than anything to never have these thoughts or to ever be like my molester. I've got 3 kids and i spend everyday showing how to be the best they can be it just bothers me that this thought is even in my mind. We moved to a new state just to have a new start on life and this is something I just don't want to keep with me. I was really involved at my last church, and always wanted to talk to my pastor about it, but it was like they saw me as this great man, and I couldn't give them a different thought to think of me. Well I want to be that fully. I want to know for myself I'm a great man and talking to people who don't know me or already have an opinion built up about me is why I'm here.

Maybe you could try thinking in something else every time that comes to your mind and distract yourself and give less importance to that thought. Maybe singing a song, multiplying 3 or more digits number in your head? Or do something with your hands that requires attention, like juggling 3 balls or moving a coin around the wingers with one hand, find something fun or hard that you can think or do that will make you impossible to have the tough you don't like at the same time while doing the activity.

At least that would be what I would do to try to delete an idea from my brain and think in something else.

Hmmm if the thought can be eliminated the second thing you could do is accept that your brain likes to think that, just because you think in something, doesn't mean you have to do what you think, you know you are better than that. As long the thought stays in your mind and you have self control to not make it reality, just let it linger and ignore it.

I have a problem like that, I think and want to do something but I promise myself I won't ever do it, doing it for real would make me feel bad but thinking about doing it, I have no problem with that, I have accepted I like that thought and can't help it, but that doesn't mean will accept performing it for real and I won't do that for real.

Hope that helps, I dunno if I'm good giving advices. Just in case, ignore my advices till you see more people saying my advices are good

You know, but why? Why does this happen? Is it because I was molested? I don't even get an erection from it, so it's not like I like it. I hate to tell you the truth. I just don't understand. I don't walk around looking at other kids, and I'd do anything to protect my kids. I just want to be better.