Finding help - not so easy for everyone

I'm sure many of you can relate or at the least understand where I'm coming from. Addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. are commonplace, one can openly speak of these problems to friends, family, professionals, and others with the same problem. The problem I speak of, is that of an attraction, and in many cases, an addiction, to younger girls.

Go try and tell your best friend you're attracted to girls with an age difference of 3 years or more them being under 18. You will most likely lose a best friend. Go try and tell a professional your darkest and most guilty feelings towards a younger girl. Wait for detective Joe Schmo at your doorstep the next day. Hell, go and even tell somebody you know had the same issues, and prepared to be met only with denial and finger-pointing from the rest of the town. This is the truth about paedophilia/ephebophilia.

I constantly see responses to threads explaining that this problem is only treatable through professional help. The realistic truth of the matter is that decent professional help regarding this issue is far and few inbetween. Much of professional help is an interconnected effort between the professional and the client - the client and their family - the client and their friends, and so on. But this is not something one can simply go about seeking help for, or even hinting at having such problems. This is such a taboo in western cultures that most people have no objective view to it and believe all who have attraction to younger girls (or boys, perhaps not at prevalent but the same degree of an issue), are the absolute worst of the worst and deserve nothing short of death. Sure, we can go on to see our professional help and maybe even a close friend whom we can talk with, but what do you think is really going through their minds? Are they truly understanding and realize that not all of us with this issue are monsters? Or does it challenge every moral and emotional fiber of their being and wish that the worst shall come of us? This is something we need to think about realistically.

And what of those who do not see particular age groups as an "issue"? We've all heard that old saying "if there is grass on the field, play ball", and many take that to heart. Girls mature very quickly now, it's not too uncommon for girls between the ages of 9-13 to start their periods now, and it's all too common that high school girls already express sexual interest and are highly sexually active. This topic is HIGHLY controversial, the prevalence of "men" that sleep with or engage in other sexual activity with girls under the age of 18, is higher than I think society wants to accept. Those who engage in this activity and actually see it as a "problem", is much lower. Most all who do drugs, see it as a definite problem. Same with alcohol, same with gambling. This problem, however, is not often seen as such if the girls are A: mentally and physically more mature, B: engage in these activities willingly (for the most part willingly), and C: the men believe the girl(s) to enjoy it. Of course, we all know of the older men that enjoy activity (or would enjoy) with significantly younger girls (use your own definition of "significantly"). These men, I believe, are indifferent their actions and feelings. They are simply giving into their attraction, and seeing it not at a problem nor as an acceptable thing to do.

The subject of paedophilia/ephebophilia itself is vast and immensely difficult to discuss. Moreso than drugs or alcohol, eating disorders or gambling. We all know that in some countries, engaging in relationships and sexual activity with younger girls is commonplace. Their "girls" are already considered women, and they are treated as such. Is that reasoning for it's activity in western cultures or other cultures where it's taboo? That isn't for me to decide, there are too many factors to play in the equation to develop a wholly accepted answer. The purpose of my thread was to enlighten some of the realism surrounding the issue of paedophilia/ephebophilia. I would like to finally note that this problem, for many of whom it ails, is not fully curable except perhaps by extreme means such as castration or of course the elixir of mental conditions, suicide. Finding someone to confide in is not impossible, and hopefully that can be done for many. This is a lifelong struggle for those who are passionate about correcting this problem, same as any other addition that perturbs our minds and our lives. Sometimes, it does have to get worse before it can get better, and everyone is different inasmuch that we will all be alone in finding our own cure, but the existence of any mental deficit is never held by just oneself.

Good post. I agree with everything you have said except being afraid of seeking professional help. As long as you don't engage in any questionable behaviors, no detectives will come by. People with this disease should seek help.