preteen models

A small update too on my situation... Things have gotten a bit worse. i have what i consider to be bi polar disorder and i went to the doctors and tried getting a professional to help me. Its been ages and i still havent heard anything and while this wait has been going on things hev gotten sicker in my head along the lines of Incest, rape, Homicidal spree killing rapes (robert mone) thiongs like this i know if i got my hands on a gun this fantasy could very easily become a reality ie taking a classroom hostage in some girls school molesting then killing the pupils then myself. Or just a solitary rape and murder of one or two girls. The very thought of it makes me spell out long drawn out situations in my head. If i only i had a gun. And they professional help im seeking is not coming either which way and these thoughts are just boiling away getting hotter and hotter.

hi w,
It sounds like it has become much worse and harder on you. Write out the stories in your head.
Do not act, tone down dreaming this stuff up. Negative energy is like a black hole, get too close,
and you can not turn back. seek and receive help.

If the authorities every found one pic of a "preteen", lable it child porn and your butt is a goner.

I understand the attraction, but yours is going down a very dark road.
You chose your life, you may not always get to control it, your choice.

Take care,
Red

wolfparade wrote:A small update too on my situation... Things have gotten a bit worse. i have what i consider to be bi polar disorder and i went to the doctors and tried getting a professional to help me. Its been ages and i still havent heard anything and while this wait has been going on things hev gotten sicker in my head along the lines of Incest, rape, Homicidal spree killing rapes (robert mone) thiongs like this i know if i got my hands on a gun this fantasy could very easily become a reality ie taking a classroom hostage in some girls school molesting then killing the pupils then myself. Or just a solitary rape and murder of one or two girls. The very thought of it makes me spell out long drawn out situations in my head. If i only i had a gun. And they professional help im seeking is not coming either which way and these thoughts are just boiling away getting hotter and hotter.

I try soo hard to tone it down i tell myself its wrong but i have no fear of death and i have very little control of my head. Everytime i lock it away some sort of trigger that is unknown to me will spark it bck up. I know if i had a gun i could pull this off and then die. That one goal that i feel i could be fufilled with would be achieved i could then just put a bullet in my brain and its gone. No one in this stupid country seems to be very efficient with help. These things brew and boil all the time At times that black hole seems far too tempting and i dont want to turn back. But i know i cant enter it unless i have the right tools, Which i guess is a good thing. I need to stay away from buying a weapon i need to control my urges, I repeat this over and over again but sometimes the control seems irrelevant and useless and i dont care about anything. The only times i can air out these fantasys are on this forum and it does help (Persoanlly i would like to thankyou for replying) I need help i know this i know if i can get help i will have external barriers and control that is not of my own creation because it seems everytime i put up a barrier i just tear it down again.

no gun that is a good thing.
I have a good gut feeling that you are going to make it through this.
Get the help, Get the right tools to help yourself mentally.

I know you in your heart, that you do not really want to rape, kill and kill yourself.

Not in real life. You can conquer this. start now. and don't try and get better
all by yourself. Get the help, I don't care if you have to go to a police station,
and tell them what you "your fantasy plan is". That is a cry for help that
no one can ignore.

Your very bright, and you have goodness in you. Let it light the fire for you move onward and upward.

peace.
red

not really. i mean the images are there and its hard not to llook at them. maybe im thinking about it the wrong way
anyway i have a feeling my reasons are different to yours ive got some weird mental issues id rather not go into i think i have just sexualised myself and other girls from a young age so i dont know.

if you feel bad about it and want to stop its just a matter of hard you want to stop isnt it? you could try only going on the internet if thers people around so youre less likely to do it maybe? personaly i know i start to look at porn if im at home by myself so i jsut avoid going on the internet as much as possible really

wolfparade wrote:Well pre pubescant doesnt quite describe the age groups of girls i have they range from maybe 13 - 17 ephedophilia ( orwhateveritis) is how i described it. I used to get sent these images of actual nude girls from underground modeling sites and they never did it for me and that eased my worries a little but i would never ever act on my intrests. So if my intrest ranges from 13 to 17 that makes me a ephedophile doesnt it? i dont get off at girls too young i think the youngest was 12 whatever. Its feels soo odd talking about this stuff its been locked away in my deepest darkest areas for soo long i want some real good feed back on this i need to talk this all thorugh with someone that isint sitting right in front of me if im ever goign to curb this habit

I have said something similar in the past myself. Thing is though, it's against the law to do anything sexual with young teenage girl in a lot countries, and the OP has admitted to having pics of underage girls. He should get rid of those pics.

OP, I've noticed the thread is titled "preteen models", if the girls you're looking at are 13-17 then they're not preteen. They're still underage though, and you could end up ruining your life over some pictures.

You need to seek help because you mentioned something about wanting to rape.

In the mean time, have you considered looking at porn where the women are of legal age (18 and over), but made to look younger? It's not really ideal, but at least you wouldn't be breaking the law unlike now.

I hope in the intervening time nothing bad has happened and you have managed to find some calm, or treatment, whatever you felt was appropriate and helpful.

I would add that some of your anxieties seem to stem from the fact that you are (or, at least, were) obviously finding it hard to reconcile your sexual desires with your sense of what is considered to be right (either morally, or normatively). Tackling that anxiety may alleviate the distress you feel.

In that regard, I would like to point out that a heterosexual male being attracted to girls of 13-17 is totally and utterly normal. If I may draw on an article from that well-known academic source Wikipedia, labels like ephebophilia/hebephilia have been criticized as attempts to pathologize reproductively valid behaviour.In other words, most girls in this age range, particularly 14+, will have sexual characteristics and be capable of reproducing. It's instructive to think that in other times or cultures, what is perceived in our overly hysterical tabloid-fuelled age is/was in fact considered perfectly normal. Furthermore, there is an inherent hypocrisy in our culture, with child models being caked in make-up and young girls wanting (and being allowed) to dress in what would otherwise be considered a sexually provocative manner. We are, after all, animals. The randy bull is attracted to the pantomime cow.

So don't beat yourself up about what you're attracted to. My maxim is fairly straightforward - don't judge people on their feelings but by what they do. Of course, do be aware that a court of law doesn't judge you morally but by prevailing legislation. Whereas I loathe the thought of anyone looking at pictures of child abuse, I would not judge a guy who looked at pictures of beautiful girls doing non-sexual modelling. That said, even these pictures are illegal in many jurisdictions.

GinaSmith wrote:...I would like to point out that a heterosexual male being attracted to girls of 13-17 is totally and utterly normal...

Well said, and true. Girls that have the characteristics of developed women are going to be attractive, whether we like to admit it or not. When you think about the things that make a 13 year-old girl recognizable as 13, there really aren't any aspects there that would normally prevent an adult male from being attracted.

A playful and carefree attitude? Many men find that attractive. Physical smallness/lack of height? Not a problem for most men. Merely knowing their age is really the only thing stopping most men from allowing themselves to admit, even to themselves, an attraction to underage girls; since if those same men encountered a duplicate girl of 20 bearing the same physical and mental characteristics, you can bet they'd pronounce their attraction. If you read up on the characteristics the male mind focuses on when judging attractiveness in females, you'll find that most if not all of them are indicators of youth; and they're even presented as such in the research.

My feeling has always been that the majority of men have convinced themselves to maintain a perpetual state of denial due to society's rules. The science of the situation, though, is the same regardless of how disconcerting it might feel to the world.

I think most of us who preach social illumination still join the rest of the world in repulsion at the thought, though, at least to a certain degree. You, hypothetically, who've felt attracted to underage girls and think it's probably natural, still wouldn't want some grown man dating a young girl that you cared about, such as your daughter or little sister, would you? It does seem wrong when you put yourself in that situation, doesn't it...

But whether such relationships and activity should be condoned or not is really a secondary argument. People who want to affect change regarding this issue would be wise to shift focus more towards allowing the truth to be told, rather than changing laws. The problems affecting our young original poster, and others like him, won't be solved until people are allowed to start speaking openly about what's actually going on here: That grown men overwhelmingly do find girls far below the predominant age of consent attractive; and that it's absurd to think that girls somehow suddenly become attractive once they're "legal". The longer we remain in a collective state of denial, insisting on the comfortable lie that this is some sort of perversion that only affects a small percentage of the population, the longer we remain stagnant in dealing with the surrounding problems it causes.

Even if society continued to look down on romantic involvement between adults and "children", the OP could get proper help in dealing with his urges via expert advice telling him that "This is normal, and everyone has to deal with it, and here are some of the ways we've come up with to that end", rather than being called a sick person who consequently forces himself to withdraw deeper and deeper into his own mind. We live in a highly repressive world, and I hope it can somehow become un-repressed over time.

I have looked at both CP and child model sites and prefer the model sites because the children look happier and I am hoping that with these sites the child is being paid for being taken pictures of, where as in CP I think they are not being taken care of. I often look at preteen model sites and I honestly feel like its an outlet for me rather than being out there molesting and hurting young children. I think if you can seperate the two from each other then its okay. If you can look at the pictures without wanting to go out and molest or have sex with that age model then you are good. I honestly don't think that I will ever act out sexually with a child simply because I was looking at pictures of preteen boys and girls, yet that is just what I think and feel.

Last post on this topic as this thread has been found by one of my ex girlfriends.
We talked about it and i think i know what im going to do, Them being there on my hardrive brings paranoia and sadness something i dont need at the moment. So as of now i have deleted every image, every video, every story 20.8Gb worth. Years of collecting and saving handpicked images and videos it will all be gone. Im hoping this will stop some of the cravings because the sites i used to browse are slowly being cut out of the internet, and i am now using Tube sites for my "reading material" I can go as far as Cam girls without the feeling of doing something wrong.
Soo its done no more of this stuff, its amazing how close you get to being arrested as a pedophile before you realise its not right.

Agdgdggwngo