How do I cope as a Pedophile in this crazy world ?

Probably.
I mean I'm attracted to both sexes and some alien races I saw on Star Trek... But I'm currently just with some normal guy.
Just because you have the thoguht doesn't really mean that you're more likely to do it.
I think about horrific Saw & Hostel worthy methods of dismembering and torturing and killing people, but I'm probably the least likely person to kill someone on the planet... and I would NEVER go after an animal...

So it's all perspective.
The nice man next door and mean as sin man on the other side have sexual thoguhts about children...
Who's more likely to act on them?
I don't think there's a good answer to that.

I agree with a lot of the responses here. It seems society will not bother taking the time to recognize the differences between those attracted to minors in order to avoid risking or gambling the welfare of youth, instead they choose zero tolerance attitude and attempt to burn all of us without taking any prisoners, but does that mean I should tolerate being caught up in the cross fire and surrender my life to this madness ?

It is ironic that such hatred is an attempt to keep children safe at all cost yet I am the one making a far greater sacrifice for the sake of children than any other pedophile hater, because ultimately I am submitting to a life of pain, misery and hell by trading my life for the life of kids because that's how society wants it, if it wasn't for children I wouldn't have to be living such a horrible restricted and difficult life so therefore I should be thanked for playing victim role to make society happy and content but instead of top of the sacrifice I have made I receive further condemnation.

Being attracted to minors is not something I wanted or chose, I would give anything and everything if only I could change sexuality, I am stuck with this yet I choose never to act on it as it goes against every part of my morals, beliefs and values, I would never harm another for my own gain yet I cant say the same for society as they are so willing to harm me for their own gain.

From your responses you all seem like fair, intelligent and kind people who are willing to see the differences between the guys here who are attracted to minors here and the child molesters that you hear about, so what do you normal members of society propose that we do in such a situation and how would you guys cope if we could trade places?

Honestly? I don't know.
With my death and pain fascinations (and all the others) it's easy.
I indulge in my personal time and masqerade like I'm normal the rest of the time.
But I dont' support child pornography, so this is a tricky situation.

I'd like to say I'd just force myself to stop liking it, but that's unrealistic.
Instead I'd probably go to therapy and then to confession... I'm pagan but confession is good for the soul, and who understands pedophilia better than the Catholic Church at this point? (half a joke, not sure if that's in bad taste... so... sorry.)
I'm not really sure what to do...
You're in a tough spot.

You're coming across as a very intelligent person, Tormented, and yet your username indicates the state of mind that you're in - i.e. you are 'tormented'. What SmileXx implied about the Catholic Church is actually a good example to bring up in this thread. What was involved there was very much paedophilia, yet the word has not been used at all to describe the actions of those priests. I wonder why that is? Maybe it's because the Catholic Church has a reputation that allows it to be 'above' paedophilia, but yet when an individual 'joe soap' like you or some other dude does it, it's paedophilia and nothing else.

I'm not making much of a point by this post, but you and SmileXx just had me thinking 'out loud'

Kevin

Which brings up another interesting thought. Why are so many catholic priests paedophiles or child molesters? Is it because they knew they were paedophiles and decided to become priests because they are forced to abstain from sex that way? But for some it becomes too much and they give into their urges. Or is it because it is unnatural to not be allowed to engage in sexual activity, priests don't want to be kicked out of the Catholic faith, so abuse children because they can have some sort of sexual activity and manipulate a young child into being silent?

You are not only heard, but not alone. Here's some recent topics you can look at:

paraphilias/topic47969.html

paraphilias/topic47793.html



Yes it is hard. A lot of us feel stuck and unwanted, as well as hated. But part of preventing ourselves from going insane is to face the world head-on. I don't mean proclaiming, "HEY! I'M A PEDOPHILE! WATCH ME!" But instead of fearing society and risking become anti-social, to try and focus on other things. Easier said than done I know, but because we are so deprived of our sexual tendencies by society, when we do walk out in public and see that cute little girl shopping with her friends at the mall or in a store with her mother, it's hard not to stare. It gets harder when we do stare and realize she's sitting on a bench in a skirt and obviously not aware of how to unconsciously sit properly...

But the idea is to directly look away and focus on something else of interest. That applies to every area of life. It will usually never go away, and the rarity of it going away is so slim it is believed impossible or "incurable". Getting nervous about it and making yourself obvious won't help either. Just control it and force yourself to act normal. It's easy for women who grow up with children to tilt their head and say, "Awe, how cute!" but for someone like myself, a young adult male without a ring on his left hand, it can be taken as a serious offense in an act of profiling.

Be nice, smile, and avoid stepping a boundary of a comfort zone. If another adult does begin to look at you somewhat suspiciously, do what people without the issue would. Don't confront it, stay oblivious, definitely don't look away, or say something to them nice, like, "When I get married, I hope I have a daughter/son as nice as yours." Show them that you do not have an intent on harming a child (because you don't). These aren't the qualities that a serial rapist/killer normally do not possess who are guilty, guilty, guilty.


In a conversation about the tormenting of pedophiles, calmly inform them, "Well actually, the definition of a 'pedophile' is simply someone attracted to children under the age of 13. In fact, most child molesters and rapists aren't pedophiles at all; they simply believe that they can't get into a successful relationship with an adult and target children. They're crooks who want sex, regardless of age."

You aren't seriously defending anyone who commits crimes. Just debate smart. Let them know that most child molesters tend to have a very low IQ. If you show yourself smart (because you've obviously researched this and they haven't), they won't confront you in fear of, well, showing themselves stupid.


Making eye contact is the most important aspect in life.


But for the sake of your own protection, do not tell anyone of your condition. There are vigilantes out there who will try and hunt you down, and word can spread quickly among people who do know you and it will destroy your life from the inside out. But don't let the hatred control your life. One of the reasons I live in a house with multiple firearms goes beyond the common thief and the reason a relative of mine was an undercover cop who busted gang members (now getting out of prison). Until the majority of the population wakes up from it's ignorance, we can do our part on the Internet with informing others.


That's all we can do to "cope" and it works for me.

Tormented hasnt answered my PM for about 5 days now. I hope hes alright.

I'm sure he's fine... just busy with something.

I was banned for a month and came back.

He'll be around.

Mark73 wrote:Tormented hasnt answered my PM for about 5 days now. I hope hes alright.

I'm only passively involved in this thread now but I have checked Tormented's profile and can inform you that he last logged-in April 3rd. That's a week ago today obviously. People have been known to vanish for both short and long periods of time, and I know how worrying it can be. If you like, I will try to contact him myself through another means... ...?

Kevin

PS - I was the one who banned SmileXx, but I'm hoping she forgives me now..

I forgive, but I don't forget.