child sexuality

I was only using that as a quote for the topic subject. Sorry, I should have changed the quote a bit, I wasn't trying to misinterpet what you were saying. But to reply to...

As they grow up, they recveive knowledge input from many sources and can rationalise things themselves.

Adults don't really rationalise anything for themselves anymore than children. They may have expirence and more knowledge than kids but they still conform to the norm, because by nature humans are a group/herd spieces.

In some ways adults are actually controlled and minipulated easier than children, because at least kids know they're being controlled whilst adults have some sort of illusion where they believe they have free will (which is essentially impossible whilst living in a society.) (this is all a bit off topic, but at the same time.. oddly on topic)

Thanks to every one for your responses.

There's a wide range of opinion here based on everything from speculation and experience to research. The difference in experience and mental capacity, the changes a child goes through and whether the adult is sexually/emotionally oriented exclusively toward children, as well as how the families and communities react to the suggestion of children being sexually active seem to comprise the main obstacles to healthy adult/child sexuality. It would be most unfortunate for an adult to loose interest in a child simply because he/she matures, for a child to enter into a relationship with an adult under coercion or without understanding the full significance, and, especially damaging I think, is the anti-sexuality mentioned, described in the essay from the University of Minnesota. (3rd link in 1Ste's post)

As for the man's situation in the article I linked to, I agree that "where children congregate" is far too general and I'm tempted to say that despite his intentions his right to freedom of press shouldn't be denied at least in the case of vintage photographs. I believe the law sets up more specific guidelines constricting where he's allowed actually, at least I know they do for actual offenders in my own area, like no going inside schools, but I'm not sure about other restrictions.

In reading detailed accounts from adults who were sexually active as children and enjoyed the experiences they had, I can't help but wonder whether pedophilia might not be so dysfunctional if society were less prejudiced. I think that before a certain age it must really be impossible for a child to understand what sex means, and so there really can't be any compromise there, but if children, as young as 8 maybe, have been taught well ahead of time what sex is, responsibly prepared for a sexual relationship, and the children themselves (even with encouragement) choose to receive responsible, patient, loving, healthy adult partners who will stay devoted after the children are mature and who're approved by the children's parents, I can't see how any difference in age, experience, or development, or even a manageable level of disapproval from their community would keep the two from living a happy life together.

This is how I describe my own dream: A world in which marriageability is determined not by years, but by how well an individual is prepared for marriage and all it implies, not just sex. I think of a culture where parents gently encourage their children to search for a responsible life partner as young as they feel ready. I can see these sort of relationships being especially successful between extended family members like cousins or aunts and nephews, uncles and nieces since these adults would already be very close to the child's family and could live close, even in the same home with the child's parents for a time. An adult spouse would replace their young partner's parents gradually if not immediately, teaching the child, asserting positive values when the child misbehaves, while also being willing to learn from and compromise with the child. They must certainly never use the child selfishly or abuse the power they have. In many ways it would be more difficult to have an adult/child marriage than one of equal-age, but it would have its recompenses. I think the parents would necessarily be a very important part of such a relationship, counseling whenever it's helpful or necessary, but not interfering with their child's relationship and being careful not to compete with their child's spouse for affection.

How much of what I describe is just flat out impossible, I don't know. I don't wish to delude myself. I know that our cultures will likely never resemble what I've described, but I don't think I'll ever stop hoping. If society weren't so messed up I think I'd have no qualms with allowing my own children to marry extremely young, assuming I felt sure my child is secure in his/her sexuality and knows what he/she is committing to, (and what commitment is).

The way you describe it, I begin to wish it could be true. I'm not yet jaded enough that I believe it's impossible for society to accept me as an individual despite my attractions, nor do i think what you described is impossible, but I'm not yet sure whether that kind of open acceptance of child sexuality could ever be beneficial, even in a lifelong-committed selfless relationship like you decribed. I can make no sufficiently logical inference based on my understanding nor do i have sufficient experience to decide one way or the other on the issue, and i sense you feel the same way. However, if you're interested in reading through some older discussion about appropriate affection between children and pedophiles, you might skim or peruse this thread.

If you don't mind exploring a bit, I'm really curious about how you envision a child might recieve discipline in the kind of relationship you describe. It sounds like you see the spouse taking most of the responsibility for education and, as you put it, asserting positive values when the child misbehaves, with the parents only there for support. Also, on what sort of issues would a child and their adult spouse compromise and how?

Sometimes a vivid imagination is almost as good as the real thing, isn't it?

S3, the way I see it, there are many people out there who have the same thoughts as you have, but the difference is that you allow the thoughts to bother you. I have very little doubt that 99.99% of males sometimes just 'get' thoughts of a minor in their mind on occasion, but the majority just pass it off and forget that they ever thought it. We cannot control what we think (which might sound ironic), if you know what I mean.

You're right Kevin. My sexuality (including pedophilia) is really just the tip of the iceberg. When I'm most "troubled" by my sexuality I'm really only using it as a way to escape reality. I'm reluctant to face that fact out of guilt for using my sexuality so indecently, hiding behind it. I think it's not dissimilar to cutting or other self-injury in that way, an outward cry for inner pain. In looking for another way to hide from or even stand up against the real issues, I've found almost nothing as effective as immersing myself in erotica or else talking about how out-of-control I feel with others who feel similarly. Either way I let my most deviant thoughts become the center of attention while beneath the surface there's 90% fear, anxiety, and rejection.

Simply put, it's complicated.

Complicated - yes - but not unmanageable, S3. Would you believe me if I said that you are by far the most respectable person I have ever met on this particular forum? You have been consistent in your arguments and in your decency; and entirely honest. I hope that you are getting benefits from remaining here. I guess you have seen that you aren't the great 'monster' that you thought you might have been when you first arrived here?

The phsychological basis for sexuality is extremely complicated and paradoxical in general, especially when you bring social norms, expectations and laws into the equation.

Bottom line these people are not sick, retarded, or wrong, they are not monsters nor are they evil, their brains simply have developed differently than others.

Thats all it really comes down to, and really all anything comes down to.

@Kevin
It is manageable, especially with the help I find here and elsewhere. :) I do benefit by remaining when, at rough times throughout the day, I recall the kind and supportive words I've given and received here and when late at night or at lulls during work I'm satisfied to visit and post here rather than search for trouble.
Yes, I feel the sincerity in your words, Kevin. I feel accepted by you despite my weaknesses. You're among the most understanding individuals I've ever talked to (pedophile or not) who knows so much about my more poignant thoughts and feelings.

@1Ste
Does looking at your sexuality logically help you define and manage your impulses? I've researched and speculated quite a bit about my sexuality, and i've come to the conclusion that the only way for me to define my sexuality more fully so to better manage my impulses has been to observe in the moment without bias what causes me emotional distress or relief whenever I do or don't have an urge to masturbate, use porn, or participate in other avoidance activities.

It does, but it does not elminate them, it only makes them easier to manage and control.

I know exacly why I am the way I am, and can trace it back to every event or instance in my life, this only relieved my curosity as to why, it changes nothing but that.

I'm glad that's the case, 1Ste. I think the pain or displeasure of denying/circumventing our impulses feels much worse when we've no understanding why the impulses occur. Naturally, anything that gives us a better sense of what we're dealing with, makes the situation less unknown, less confusing, will also help diminish our fears.

Do you think that analyzing your in-the-moment emotional responses like you've analyzed your history will help you define yourself still further and possibly lead you to find ways to alter your current state of mind? Is it useful for you to pay attention to your current emotions despite the simple fact that they're comprised of electrochemical signals in the body? I believe that with mindfulness and certain other techniques we can learn to accept and objectively analyze our reactions to the emotional climate within us and then hopefully begin to change, not necessarily how we feel, but what we do with our feelings. In many cases help from proscribed drugs can help too, but not without some conscious effort to validate and understand our feelings. Only knowing what leads to them, like you seem to have implied, really only helps minimally after all.