Is Pedophilia in Women Rare?

It depends on the individual situation. A woman that takes advantage/coerces a 14 year old boy into sex is just as sinister as a man doing the same to a woman.

Boys are more likely to want to consent. So, naturally the courts should take this into account and generally females are punished less severely when this can be proven. With that said, sometimes the boy is taken advantage of, does not really attempt to consent - in which case the female perp should be treated just as harshly as a male. Likewise, a male perp with a seemingly unaffected girl who tries to consent should be dealt with less harshly.

Neuling wrote:I tend to develop a strong attachment to children that extends beyond simply sexual interest. I guess it starts with affinity, care, and possibly love and then perverts into including sexual desires. This can make things very difficult as you care for the child but have to realize that under all that care is considerable danger to the child. Good intentions are poor consolation for a child when you fail to understand your own nature and motivations.

I am learning to accept my "particular vein of attaction" as denying it or self-loathing won't really help the situation. In fact, it could lead to some terrible mistakes. If I deny my attraction then I leave myself free to follow where these attractions may lead. If I resort to self-loathing, I may hurt myself and possibly others (particularly children) while in a bout of depression or some other unhealthy frame of mind.

I admit what I am (at least to myself), and try to approach this as one would a lifelong disease. It's manageable and happiness in life is still possible.

OMG. This could have been me. Hi there.

Hi,
I just joined and saw your post. Wanted to let you know I am a woman and struggle with being attracted to teenage boys. I hate it so much and am glad to see another women with whom I can talk with about this... I am a survivor of every possible abuse out there so have no question really as to how this developed in me... I didn't realize I had a real problem with it until I was about 27. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone as a female in this area...

I'm a bit late, but welcome to the forum Imsosorry.

Hi imsosorry and nowhere2turn... as said before it's both a relief and kind of sad knowing there are others out there with similar attractions. Though I suppose it would be best to look upon this as a great fortune to know you don't have to wonder if you're alone. Also, you have the opportunity to voice those long hidden thoughts without fear of retribution. There is nothing more freeing than knowing you can speak your mind and not be judged for it.

Even here I sometimes find it difficult to speak my mind. It seems everyone will judge one another regardless of how sympathetic or open-minded we are. I guess that judgment can be a healthy thing if we communicate openly, sincerely, and each allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Most important, I think, is learning to judge kindly but fairly, and showing appropriate restraint and understanding when we do judge openly.

Thanks so much neuling and S3.... I hope that my judgement of myself isn't offensive to others... I have a lot more empathy for others than I do myself so hopefully that helps others to not feel judged, by me anyway. And I agree it is comforting but also sad to find a "club" like this... I am glad I have found some place to release all of these long kept secrets.... Thank you thank you thank you.....

I'm not offended at all. We all come from different places and find different ways of accepting ourselves. I'm really just super glad you feel free to confide this side of yourself with us here. :-)

Good, glad not offensive.... And thanks so much....

I apologize for posting this so out of date, but after reading this string I thought I had to post. I would like to clear up a few points that I read in others replies. First and foremost lets not underestmate the harm pedofilia can have on anyone, regardless of gender. Second, one of those posting points out that it would be difficult for a woman to "overpower" a young teen male. I say: what does that have to do with anything? Most pedofiles (male or females) don't physically overpower their victims. They use "grooming" to trick and coerce their victims. We are not speaking of forceble rape here, but molestation.

I would like to relate my own experience briefly. My parents were both alcaholic. My father was extremely abusive. He beat me and my mother (who was sweet but drunk) mercilessly. He called me names and told me how stupid, worthless and ugly I was from my first memories. He broke bones and burned me. When I was about 9 I thought I found an escape when I met a lady who lived nearby. She and her female housemate (partner I realize now, but I was too young to fully comprehend) took me in, gave me affection and nurturing, at first. This eventually became sensual, then sexual, then sadistic. They allowed me smoke and drink, then used the threat of exposure to my "crimes" to manipulate me. By the end, when we moved away (thank God) I was being beaten, tortured, humiliated and degraded. I was forced to perform and accept all manner of sexual acts, to listen as I was berated, forced under violence to repeat horrific things about myself (over and over) while they performed self gratification. I was spat and urinated on. So, if anyone thinks I wanted to brag about losing my virginity at age 9, they are a fool. It is a small wonder that I am at least somewhat functional although I suspect I have AvPD. I have never sought help or counciling as I am too ashamed. I would not even tell this now, but the misconceptions on this topic are highly offensive to me. Simply put: Offenders destroy lives whether male ot female, case closed.

I am not alone. A female friend related her brother's experience at the hands of their mother. She tells me he is now totally unable to have intimacy at all. Quit enabling this behavior as being some rite of passage. It is savage and probably causes way more harm then people would either imagine or admit. Please don't send me any direct replies, or sympathy I don't want them, just wanted to share the information.