What is your song?

Does anyone have a song that describes their feelings about what it is we go through ? If you do I'd love to know what it is. Here's mine, "ain't that a bitch" by Aerosmith. I bolded the really relevant parts.


Up in smoke you've lost another love
As you take a hit off your last cigarette
Strung out, burnt out
Yeah you're down on your luck
And you don't give a...
'Til the best part of you starts to twitch
Ain't that a bitch

Freak out! I'm alone now
I feel just like I'm losin' my mind
'Cause love is like the right dress
On the wrong girl
You never know what you're gonna find
You think you're high and fine as wine
Then you wind up like a dog in a ditch
'Cause love is like a wrong turn
On a cold night...yeah
Ain't that a bitch, Ain't that a bitch

In a daze
In the throes of emotion
You see God in the Devil's eyes
Then you fall so far from grace
You wouldn't know a kiss
If it was on your face
You can tell it to the jury
But you ain't got no case

Freak out! I'm alone now
I feel just like I'm losin' my mind
'Cause love is like the right dress
On the wrong girl
You never know what you're gonna find
The gal was fine as calamine but not
Enough to scratch a seven year itch
'Cause love is like the last licks
Outta Hendrix... yeah
Ain't that a bitch, Ain't that a bitch

Then you feel so out of place
Lickin' up the arsenic
From the same old lace
You know the stuff is poison
But you gotta have a taste

You gotta
Freak out! I'm alone now
I feel just like I'm losin' my mind
'Cause love is like the right dress
On the wrong girl
You never know what you're gonna find
You think you're high and fine as wine
Then you wind up with your face in the ditch
'Cause love is like a warm gun
On a cold night... yeah
Ain't that a bitch, Ain't that a bitch

TRAPT - Lost Realist

My independence is calling my name
A doubtful voice divides my faith
My independence only hesitates
An unsure choice I can't embrace
You're gonna have to carve me,
Carve me from stone
Right to the bone or
I'll end up alone
Playing the role
Of someone in control

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything

Will the dice ever roll
When will I ever know
Will the plot ever twist
Or will I still resist
I've been playing the part of a lost realist

My indepednce is turning the page
Tomorrow comes we start to fade
My independence only complicates
It's not enough to meet half way

You'll have to carve me
Carve me from stone
Right to the bone
Or I'll end up alone
Playing the role
Of someone in control

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything

Will the dice ever roll
When will I ever know
Will the plot ever twist
Or will I still resist
I've been playing the part of a lost realist

I only keep what I give away
I only keep what I give away

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down
Everything

Will the dice ever roll
When will I ever know
Will the plot ever twist
Or will I still resist
I've been playing the part of a lost realist

Why do I rush to slow down
Why do I rush to slow down everything
Why do I rush to slow down

I have like three but if I had to pick just one it would be

"Given Up" by Linkin Park

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy


I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the ###$ is wrong
With me


I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared

I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

[chorus]
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the ###$ is wrong
With me



Goddddddd!!!!

Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my ######6 misery



I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the ###$ is wrong
With me

I'm going to download those songs and check them out. Don't think I've heard them before. Thanks for the responses. Keep them coming. If you don't mind me asking what is your particular ailment Myuki?

Sorry, but this is a long post.

There's several "me songs", but here's the top one that seems the darkest to me. Like Paraphiliac, I will bold the relevant parts...

LACUNA COIL - A CURRENT OBSESSION

Come to me
To feel my protection
A countdown to my revelation
No more respect
For your regrets

And your time has come

The naked truth is in disguise
It's your secret complication
Exhausted of this sacrifice
Just like a lying preacher

Hiding to survive

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
The light again

So hard living in torture
Erase the burning fear into
Your eyes again
Your eyes again

This silent scream is stronger now
You cannot keep it too long
This cloud evolving into rain
Your desert seems so far now

Come into my arms
Fall into my arms

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
The light again

So hard living in torture
Erase the burning fear into
Your eyes again
Your eyes again

Following your line
I'm losing mine

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
The light again

So hard living in torture
Erase the burning fear into
Your eyes again
Your eyes again

I'll explain this further, first read my post in this thread:

Here's what this song means to me:

Come to me
To feel my protection
A countdown to my revelation

When in the grips of my paraphilia, I am attracted to the albinistic women, and I know that where I live (here in Victoria, Australia) the ultraviolet radiation levels are very high and not very conducive to an albinistic person's health. I feel I might wish to protect them and hopefully in doing so help them cope.

The naked truth is in disguise
It's your secret complication
Exhausted of this sacrifice
Just like a lying preacher

I am sick of hiding from the world about my true desires. I do not want to keep trying to maintain the masquerade. I am tired of keeping it hidden.

So strong living in torture
I know that you will never see
The light again
The light again

This has meanings to me personally, having been extensively bullied at school (but not for this, they never knew about this thing that I have), sometimes I just feel I am wandering in darkness, shut out from the light.

This cloud evolving into rain
Your desert seems so far now

Although the area I live in is relatively coastal and thus more temperate than the rest of Australia, I feel it would be likely that I would have to leave the country if I truly wanted to fulfill my desires. At the time of writing, though, I wouldn't mind, just so long as I could go to Canada or somewhere like that, but I would definitely miss Australia nevertheless.

Come into my arms
Fall into my arms

In the end, however, I just want to love and be loved, but somehow, I have gotten a desire for the albinistic women. I have gotten off on more "normal" women but what is probably the most prominent and pleasant fantasy in my mind is to become the lover of an albinistic woman.

Again, sorry for the long post.

Tom Sawyer by Rush.

A modern-day warrior
Mean mean stride,
Todays tom sawyer
Mean mean pride.

Though his mind is not for rent,
Dont put him down as arrogant.
His reserve, a quiet defense,
Riding out the days events.
The river

And what you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
Catch the mist, catch the myth
Catch the mystery, catch the drift.

The world is, the world is,
Love and life are deep,
Maybe as his eyes are wide.

Todays tom sawyer,
He gets high on you,
And the space he invades
He gets by on you.

No, his mind is not for rent
To any God or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes arent permanent,
But change is.

And what you say about his company
Is what you say about society.
Catch the witness, catch the wit,
Catch the spirit, catch the spit.

The world is, the world is,
Love and life are deep,
Maybe as his skies are wide.

Exit the warrior,
Todays tom sawyer,
He gets high on you,
And the energy you trade,
He gets right on to the friction of the day.

Placebo's "Pierrot the clown" describes my masochistic feels at times. It also turns me on to think of the lead singer going through it because I'm more so a sadist.

"Pierrot the Clown"

Leave me dreaming on the bed, see you right back here tomorrow, for the next round.
Keep this scene inside your head, as the bruises turn to yellow, and the swelling goes down.

And if you're ever around, in the city or the suburbs, of this town,
Be sure to come around, I'll be wallowing in sorrow, wearing a frown, like Pierrot the clown.

Saw you crashing 'round the bay, never seen you act so shallow, or look so brown.
Remembered all the things you'd say, how your promises went hollow, as you threw me to the ground.

And if you're ever around, in the backstreets or the alleys, of this town.
Be sure to come around, I'll be wallowing in pity, wearing a frown, like Pierrot the clown.

When i dream, i dream of your lips,
when i dream, i dream of your kiss,
when i dream, i dream of your fists,
your fists,
your fists..

Leave me bleeding on the bed, see you right back here tomorrow, for the next round.
Keep this scene inside your head, as the bruises turn to yellow, and the swelling goes down..

And if you're ever around, in the city or the suburbs, of this town, be sure to come around, I'll be
wallowing in sorrow, wearing a frown, like Pierrot the clown,
Pierrot the clown,
Pierrot the clown,
Pierrot the clown,
Pierrot the clown.

Another Placebo song excites my sadism as I think of the singer, Brian Molko, being tortured and the cigarette burn scars on his chest. It's called "This Picture".

" This Picture"

I hold an image of the ashtray girl
Of cigarette burns on my chest
I wrote a poem that described her world
And put our friendship to the test
And late at night
Whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor
What's wrong with this picture?
What's wrong with this picture?

Farewell the ashtray girl
Forbidden snowflake
Beware this troubled world
Watch out for earthquakes
Goodbye to open sores
To broken semaphore
You know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes it's fated
(We) Disintegrated it
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's fated
(We) Assassinated it
For fear of growing old

Farewell the ashtray girl
Angelic fruitcake
Beware this troubled world
Control your intake
Goodbye to open sores
Goodbye and furthermore
You know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes it's fated
(We) Disintegrated it
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's fated
(We) Assassinated it
For fear of growing old

Hang on
Though we try
It's gone
Hang on
Though we try
It's gone

Sometimes it's fated
(We) Disintegrated it
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's fated
(We) Assassinated it
For fear of growing old
Can't stop growing old...

Garbage has a song called " Use Me " that excites the masochist in me.

" Use Me "
use me, i'm beautiful
take me, i'm yours
hurt me, it feels like medicine
and all i deserve

people have funny things
swimming inside
they swing like pendulums
they turn like the tides

darling
i don't need money
i could be happy
with someone to love

oh what a crazy time
i've been a fool
on a wild ride to oblivion
i lost my mind

but with you it's understood
you make me feel strong
your arms look so powerful
when they hold me down

darling
i don't need money
i could be happy
with someone to love

everyone looks dangerous
and no one keeps their promises
and i am always running
and you have your dark places
regretting
feeling
remembering
something

we never said (regretting)
we wish we said (something)
we should have said (regretting)
we could've said (something)

truly
i don't need money
or strangers to love me
no diamonds and pearls
or fast cars
designed for the rock stars

i could be happy
with someone to trust
someone to love
someone to trust

use me, i'm beautiful
take me, i'm yours

And finally another song by Garbage called "never be free" makes me feel powerful and sadistic when I listen to it.

" Never Be Free"

You'll never be free
You'll never be free
This is the place where dreams begin
I wait right here for you, my friend
I shiver underneath your skin
A brazen thief who walks right in
You can beat yourself up to the beat of a drum
You can drink til you drop, til you can't stand up
And it tastes so sweet, it tastes so sweet
You'll never forgive me, you'll never be free
You might as well kill me, you'll never be free
You'll never forgive me, you'll never be free
You might as well kill me, you'll never be free
I'll be your master heroine
Your mother's milk, your adrenaline
Are you a hunter just like me?
A lot of heart, a little crazy
You can beat yourself up to the beat of a drum
You can drink til you drop, til you can't stand up
And it tastes so sweet, it tastes so sweet
You'll never forgive me, you'll never be free
You might as well kill me, you'll never be free
You'll never forgive me, you'll never be free
You might as well kill me, you'll never be free
Your house, your room, your mouth, your bed
Your ear, your heart, your veins, your blood
Your house, your room, your mouth, your bed
Your ear, your heart, your veins, your blood
You'll never be free
You'll never be, you'll never be free
You'll never be free
You'll never be, you'll never be free
You'll never forgive me
You might as well kill me

"The Devil's Own"

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH


The Devil's own
Why!?

[Chorus:]
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
No matter what I've done, you've always criticized me
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
When it's said and done, will you remember...

[V1:]
Slap on the wrist, smack in the face
The family tree, gave me a name and nothing more
Neglected seed, why!?

[Pre-chorus:]
It's because of you I'm broken
It's because of you I'm dead inside
I never asked to be here
It's because of you I'm godforsaken
I never wanted this
It's because of you I'm dead inside

[Chorus:]
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
No matter what I've done, you've always criticized me
What did I do wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
When it's said and done, will you remember me?

[V2:]
A happy home, a fairy tale, a broken dream
Gave me a life, then turned away
Killed everything, why!?

[Pre-chorus:]
It's because of you I'm broken
It's because of you I'm dead inside
I never asked to be here
It's because of you I'm godforsaken
I never wanted this
It's because of you I'm dead inside

###$!
Father, bastard, I'm the Devil's very own
Mother, know not, just who I've become
Father, hate me, for being all your not
Mother's baby, I hate what I've become
I hate what I've become
I hate what I've become

[Pre-chorus:]
It's because of you I'm broken
It's because of you I'm dead inside

[Chorus:]
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
No matter what I've done, you've always criticized me
What did I do wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
When it's said and done, will you remember me?

I know it's a bit schmaltzy, but 'Childhood' by Michael Jackson.

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had

Have you seen my Childhood...

Nice songs. I especially like "The Devil's Own," "Never Be Free," and "Given Up" ... I just realized there's a common theme in those titles.

Onlysleep, scmaltzy is still good. Michael Jackson's Childhood really does seem appropriate on many levels.

For me, Chalice's Portrait is appropriate for how I feel about my compulsive porn use and deviant attractions in general.
Listen here.

metrolyrics.com wrote:Do I only have conviction
When my opinion lives in isolation?
Is this portion of reality
A frail and tangential foundation?

Who mapped the course
To this quizzical, grotesque junction?

I can't romanticise these demons anymore
I can't serenade another empty balcony
I can't endure one more eve on this fetid ship
With the insincere bounty of a mutinous soul

The machine grinds ever on
With a radiance perceived by wretched eyes
That lead me home again when I'm blinded
By the truth within my lies

I can't romanticise these demons anymore
I can't serenade another empty balcony
I can't endure one more eve on this fetid ship
With the insincere bounty of a mutinous soul

I listen to Evanescence's Tourniquet and Imaginary as well when thinking about the same.
Tourniquet Lyrics | Play
Imaginary Lyrics | Play (there are several versions)

Kinko The Clown by Ogden Edsl seems appropriate for my pedophilia when I feel like laughing.
Listen here

themadmusicarchive.com wrote:Kinko, Kinko the Kid Loving Clown
If the kids just love me back, I'll never wear a frown
Kinko, Kinko the Kid Loving Clown
If the kids just love me back, I'll never wear a frown

Kinko's in his Kinko car
pockets full of change
lots of dirty pictures
and sticky candy canes
All the kids love Kinko for the presents that they get
Silly leather clothes to wear and happy cigarettes

Hi, boys and girls, my name is Kinko the Clown
and I really love you boys and girls, really really
But my legs get tired standing out in the parking lot
handing out stale tootsie rolls to you little rugrats,
so if anyone want to come back to Kinko's trailer
and massage his legs, he'd really really like it
Really really

Kinko, Kinko the Kid Loving Clown
If the kids just love me back, I'll never wear a frown
Kinko, Kinko the Kid Loving Clown
If the kids just love me back, I'll never wear a frown

We go to Kinko's clubhouse sometimes after school
We play in Kinko's crawlspace
There's never any rules
We have to sit on Kinko's lap
There's never any chairs
Kinko likes to tickle us
and give us funny stares

Oh gosh, I haven't had this much fun since last Christmas
when I got to play Santa Claus and all the boys and girls
got to sit on Kinko's lap.

Little Boy: Mommy Mommy, Kinko hurt me!

But that was in Indianapolis, and thanks to the liberal
reciprocity laws, Kinko can be with you boys and girls
today or anytime.

Jimmy Johnson ran away and didn't say goodbye.
Kinko went to look for him to help the FBI
But Kinko had some handcuffs on
His eyes were full of tears
Said, "I'll be back to play with you sometime in 20 years."

Kinko, Kinko the Kid Loving Clown
The parents want to beat me up and run me out of town
Kinko, Kinko the Kid Loving Clown
Tar and feather Kinko and run him out of town

Officer: OK Shorteyes, get in the car

Good bye boys and girls

GOODBYE KINKO

See you at the turn of the century, cause Kinko
really loves you boys and girls, really really

The Vagina Song by the Bloodhound Gang represents my love of the fair gender generally.
Vagina Lyrics | Play

The Salad Song, astonishingly, combines my interest in children, incest, and coprophagia, though it is very campy. I know it doesn't actually mean what it sounds like to me. My mind is just twisted that way I guess.

BTW I think if my pedophilia had a mascot, I'd like it to be Herbert from Family Guy.
Sound clip