Urophilia...What am I supposed to think and do?

I am 18 and a senior in high school and I am a girl. I think that something wrong is developing inside of me. And if I think about it, it traces back to my childhood, or at least years ago. It's really embarrassing and I haven't told anyone about it ever.

Well, I don't really know where to start. I used to have a phobia of people hearing me pee my whole life. I would sit down and plug my ears and squint my eyes really tight and I would never use the bathroom in public. When I was 7, this girl that I used to live down the street from pressured me to join her in rubbing our crotches and crouching to piss on the ground. Also, when I was young, my brother and I pissed in coffee cans a few times. I don't know if that has had any effect on me or what, but there it is.

I had to go to this college preview over the summer for a whole month, so I had to get over this deal, obviously. The previous year, I went to a college camp for 3 days and I COULDN'T pee, even though I had to really bad just because I knew there were other people about. The only time that I ever peed that whole weekend was ONCE in the shower. I "trained" myself for college preview by having my boyfriend (of over 3 years) be there with me when I peed. When he pees, I like hearing it. I will go up to the door to hear it. I drink green tea so that I piss a lot and I choose "convenient" times to pee, like after I finish brushing my teeth and he still is, so that he hears me.

I had never masturbated until recently, like a few months ago. A couple of times I did so in the shower while peeing. I have also psychologically associated showers with urination. Similar to the Pavlov's dogs, if I am in the shower, I feel the urge to pee. I used to pee in the shower because I was afraid of anyone hearing me. If my boyfriend and I are fooling around and I am on the verge of orgasm, simply thinking about him pissing pushes me over.

I don't know what I am supposed to do now after realizing that I might have a problem. How am I supposed to get over this? Should I ignore these feelings or let them fester inside of me? They are not unpleasant except for a feeling of guilt and that it is not probable that many people would accept me if they knew this. I have a psychologist, but I don't know if I should tell her since I've been going to her about dealing with college applications and school stress. Advice please?

Well first of all if it makes you feel any better I can't remember the last time I didn't urinate in the shower. That's completely natural to do in the shower with running water and all. I've done extensive research about paraphilias and I can't say I've ever come across a phobia turning into a paraphilia, that's interesting. Do you enjoy being urinated on? My thought would be that in the process of trying to get over your phobia of peeing in public you gained an unnatural comfort with it and since that comfort is associated with your boyfriend there may be a psychological link. My guess would be that by telling your psychologist and with a little bit of work you could probably beat this problem. Now this is only my opinion so take it for what it's worth but unless you actually like urine on your body it's probably not a paraphilia. Just a case of sexual association like I wrote above. But that's just me. Please let me know what you think. And if you trust your B/F completely then I would tell him.

yes, i also find it very interesting how philia-phobia are inter-linked here.

I still can't decide whether it is a phillia or a phobia.

Thank you Paraphiliac187,
The sexual association is an interesting thought and that is probably why it evolved. I've been listening to my boyfriend for a little longer than the summer, but that could have been from the phobia. I might have done it just to see that I'm not the only one that can be heard.
I haven't been urinated on ever, so I can't say for sure whether I like it or not. I would rather urinate on him, but I have never even tried since I've never told him about this.
It's like I want to save it all for him, so I would hold it in until it hurts. This is strange since I like it when he is tied up, instead of me. Ha ha.[/quote]

Well he's a lucky guy if you like to tie him up, that's kind of my thing. Maybe you should tell him. The worst he could say is no if he really loves you. It's not like you want to cut his genitals off. Take it slow and see where it goes.

Oh, dear.
He saw this on my laptop, and he asked if he could read it. It caught him off-guard since he is almost always able to tell about things.
He let me live a fantasy (yay!), but he said that he doesn't feel the same way about it.
He will do these things with me, but he doesn't know if he will ever actually like them. I'm still happy though. (:

Well good for you, let's hope we're all as lucky you.

In gay circles a urination fetishes are called 'watersports'. Urination fetishes are extremely common amoung men gay and straight. Its all about something hot and warm coming from the sexual region of the body. Its soemthing I've triedout but it doesnt really do it for me in the same way that other kinky stuff does. my Ex used to love it. My advice is, don't worry about it and, if you'll exucse the pun; just go with the flow.

well i know alot about this. alot of phobias from childhood tend to convert into fetishes later in life around the time off puberty in most cases. i also am very much turned on by urination in sexual relations. i am a male. my fiancee doesnt have this fetish (urophilia) tho she is very open to it and does participate. i would say just come out to your boyfriend with it. if he really loves you he will understand. and infact it is not at all uncommon for men to have this. i know several infact. so maybe your boyfriend will enjoy it after he gives it a try if he does not already. best of luck to you : )