I got caught peeping on one of my best friends

This happened this morning. I'm a 25 year old male and I've had an obsession with my female friend for sometime now. Not just sexual, but also emotional. This weekend, she came to visit and was staying at my place in a spare room. On friday, I had thoughts of devising someway to peep on her, but I was able to overcome those feelings and felt good that I wasn't going to do that. We have hung out the last 2 days and i have not had any impulses. Then I woke up this morning and felt angry or upset, about what I do not know, and decided I was going to figure out a way to take pictures of her changing. She caught me through a grate.

I immediately felt horrible, I've betrayed her and I know it and I don't know why I've created this obsession over her.

I called the police to have them come arrest me for the invasion of privacy. They didn't seem to understand why I was calling. She chose not to have me arrested though, instead opting to go with the police until someone can come and pick her up as she lives about an hour away and does not have a car.

I just feel horrible and guilty and full of shame that I did something so stupid. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I did it anyway. I've already called a crisis center and will make an appointment with a counselor tomorrow as all the offices are closed on Sunday. I just don't know how I to deal with the shame and guilt in the time being, I want to apologize and let her know how utterly horrible I feel about it, but I know right now she is too angry and contacting her would be the worst possible thing to do.

I don't want her to go through the rest of her life uncomfortable and feeling she can't trust people because of me, although I doubt there is anything I can do to change that.

Man I don't know what to tell you. All you can really do is tell her the truth - that you've been sexually attracted to her and that you did something horribly wrong. I also suggest you get some therapy with someone who has experience with sexual issues.

Make sure she knows she is not at fault. Offer to pay for any help she may feel she needs as a result of this too.

Yeah, I know all about the ashamed, embarrassed feelings that come with huge boo-boos -- especially with someone you really care about.

I think it speak very well for you that you are (from your last paragraph) really concerned for *her* sake -- for how she'll be affected.

Agreeing with Sean... honesty (without over-gushing about your "obsession" with her), is an indispensible ingredient.

It's probably a good step for your own growth, too -- moving you to experiment with feeling you are worth *asking* for what you need -- steps toward being appropriately more open and honest. Of course a therapist/counselor is a good place to start doing some of that with bare-bones honesty and real depth.

Let us know how it goes.
—LQ

All I can think about is how violating this is to her and it only makes me feel worse. She was a very close friend of mine and I feel so horribly about everything. I don't know what to do. I want to make her understand it wasn't her fault and that she did nothing wrong, but I don't think I should try to contact her right now as she is obviously very upset about the whole ordeal. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out a way to live myself and it's not been easy at all. I haven't eaten and it's so hard to sleep. All I can think about is how this is going to screw her up for long time and how I've lost a good friend over an impulse I should've been able to control.

I've tried to call doctors and psychologists to make an appointment, but no one can see me for weeks they said. How I can get help now to deal with this?

Hi, needhelp. It's important to apologise and to let her know how you feel.
It will be easyer for her if she knows you're sorry and telling her it wasn't her fault is a good idea. Wait untill you feel ready to tell her. I understand that you're probably afraid, but it will be better if you said you're sorry.
I'm sure you'll find a psych eventually

Dude your a guy? You like girls? Whats the problem here? So what if you betrayed her. Shes just a women. A tool for sexual gratification. Nothing more.

Um.. Women are just like us, only different emotionally. This is totally wrong, sorry to say. You really should watch what you say, especially considering majority of the people on here are indeed women. I'm for equality between the sexes, so if you're going to say they're just a tool for sexual gratification, then I'm going to get on your case.

Well, everyone has a right to their opinion, but I think the person who started this thread is conflicted enough as it is.

I hope you're doing better, needhelp! And I hope your friend feels better too and you've resolved this issue. I wish you both the best of luck!