aroused by the thought of paedophilia

You are right, puma. It would be very difficult (if not impossible)
for me to get therapy as well and I was just saying you should keep it as an option for the future, Born. I meant no offense.

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure how fantasysing about molestation (even though you never said it was a fantasy, you just spoke of the idea of it) when one is 12 years old and the "other child" is about the same age would make one a paedophille. It just doesn't make sense.
I think you may have been going through a confusing period in your life with all the hormones of puberty kicking in and discovering your sexuality. Then you just started having this "fantasy" and it kinda stuck with you, becouse you had found it arousing before.
The more I think about it, the less disturbing this seems to be, if it was that way to begin with.
You simply got your "wires crossed", I guess, adolescence can be a confusing time.

Now that I think about it, I've always found fire to be seductive(my roleplaying fantasy didn't only involve bondage).

I really hope that you keep posting here, Born. Don't feel lonely. (and feel free to PM me anytime)
Best wishes,
jasmin

Puma,

I am a survivor of sexual abuse and I stand by my statement, The fact is that the idea of someone getting turned on by the rape of a child disgusts me. If that means that Born is uncomfortable, then I couldn't care less.

I understand her need to post somewhere, which is why I did not delete her post. But I also have every right to feel the way I do about her post. As the administrator of these forums, I rarely post my personal opinion, yet in this case I felt the need to respond strongly and I did. I believe she needs to see a mental health professional. It is not up to me to figure out how she should pay for said help.

Was I being judgemental? Yes. But I was also being reactive to my own issues which happened as a very result of something Born said is "arousing". She stated that the thought of an adult man raping a child excites her sexually. Am I not allowed to express my disgust at that?

Also note that aside from expressing my disgust I have been quite civil to Born, so you have no right to intimate that these forums have not been supportive.

Dear Sean,
from the vehemance of your reaction to Born's post, I should have picked up on the possibility you had been victimized as a child. My sincere apologies to you for being insensitive to your distress and anger. Of course you have a right to express rightious anger!
My concern was, and still is, that some troubled souls may be looking up to you, and others in your position as administrators and moderators, for therapy, even though you have never represented yourself to be a health care professional. I am not saying that these forums have not been supportive, just that I'd like them to continue to be the great support resources they have always been.
Some topics are such painful issues it is really hard to not just boil over with loathing. Once again, please accept my apologies.

So much for beating this dead horse.

I am with the admin, i'm also a suvivor of abuse as well as sexual, and I agree with everything he has said in his statements. I couldn't have said it better myself.

calm down though!
i dont think about it now, was when i was only 12 myself! im not evil one bit im very sensitive and my main problem is social anxiety disorder and bulimia. I have no perverted illnesses thankyou!
believe me, if it bothered me i wouldnt be sat here. I have enough on my plate, never mind the fact that i have upset some victims here. well i do apologise. but hey, thats life i guess!
i would swap being a survivor of child abuse for my state any ######6 day so get off my back.
goodbye, and this forum is NOT supportive. it shouldnt have a '###$' area if you all cant handle it!
ffs.
this world!


your all fukin mentalists tbh.
im just extremely shy.
at least im not insane!
###$ off.
and lighten up!
if you don't laugh, you would cry.
hay hoh

1) I'm not sure people who have been the victims of paraphilias should be upsetting themselves by visiting this area. I'm not saying you can't, just maybe it's not a good idea. Paraphiliacs need to vent too, and they won't be able to do this if they get verbally abused every time they say something. If someone is using this forum, they probably genuinly want help.

2) Perhaps it is hard to hold an objective view when one has been such a victim. Again, I am not trying to upset anyone, or say your views aren't important or valid. Just maybe they are very highly emotionally charged (of course they are!), and may not be of help to someone who is seeking help here.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone. I just think that people are sometimes too quick to attack when what's needed is help; understandable, but not necessarily helpful.

Sadly as the owner of this site I don't necessarily get to choose which forums I am exposed to. When I see a post which may be problematic I reply and while I do attempt to keep my own issues out of particular topics, with this one was difficult to do so.

Born indicated that the idea of a man sexually abusing a child of arousal were ongoing and I stated my own disgust with it. I also indicated that I thought she should seek therapy. In this case, that is the best advice I could offer.

Born seemed to think that because I found the idea of sexual abuse arounsing someone disgusting I felt she was a monster. All I thought was she needed to figure out what is going on in therapy and deal with it.

I won't be apologizing for finding the abuse of a child disgusting. There are several other threads in which there have been ongoing discussions and I have stated my views many times. I have also always tried to remain civil. I do realize that sometimes I am unable to do so, but again I won't apologize for being a victim of sexual abuse as a child and being angry at those that find the practice arousing.

Read through the thread and show me where we were "on your back" Born? I'm sorry you didn't find the site helpful, but you are apparently unwilling to seek professional help from a therapist. That shows you don't really want to change.

By the way, we don't have a "###$" area, we have a Paraphilia area. Paraphilias cover a wide area of sexual issues including Pedophilia. We include this here because it is classified as a mental illness in the DSM IV-TR.

As for your statement that you woudl trade being a survivor of child sexual abuse for your own situation. I can understand that, I have never been in your shoes and it must be incredibly difficult. That said, you have no idea what sexual abuse does to someone, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I truly do hope you find the help you need.

I've kind of got the same problem. I've always found the fantasy of a grown man having loving, consensual sex with a young boy to be arousing. It's a bizarre situation, I'm 15, and generally hate children. I also live in a daycare center and never once found myself attracted to any of the children my mom cares for. Sometimes fantasies are just genuinely fantasy.

" Sometimes fantasies are just genuinely fantasy."
Exactly PBNJ , Thats so true, thank you.

As a mod, you dont always get to pick. I think this is the last forum I visited before I could I seen them all.

I do not come in here because it is hard for me to think of something positive or nice to say to help someone here....

Though I cant say that I haven't tried.

red