At what age begins orientation for bdsm

Hey guys,

that question is something that puzzles me for a very long time. I know that your sexual preference is set very early, but I always thought that was only about hetero/gay/bisexual and everything else would come later. But I am not sure about bdsm.

- When I was still in Kindergarden (age 4 or 5) I remember one certain "dream". I enjoyed thinking about that image so much, that this memory is still in my head. You know there are handles for your hands, above the windows in your car. I imagined being naked and bound with my feet to one of those. Yeah, think about that. It is a very unrealistic image, but I was young and I guess I used the things that were available in my fantasy. That is one of the reasons why I am absolutely sure that is not a supressed memory. It DID NOT happen.

- When I was 12 I had some fantasies that often included me being bound. Not hurt, it was just about me being helpless, while someone fondles me. Oh yes, and one girl from my class I imagined sitting on my face. Funny, because I had absolutely no clue what that meant by that time. But the imagine was in my head.

Okay, you can argue that with 12 puberty had already begun and I developed my preferences (although I wonder why bondage in that age). But the early memory puzzles me. I still remember feeling helpless and I liked that thought.

Myself: No history of sexual abuse, but being bullied in early ages. But not as early as kindergarden.

Mine was when I was 8 and I was home alone while my parents were out for the night. A movie came on one of the movie channels called I think in 1980 called Mother's Day. It was about 3 college roommates get together for a weekend in the woods. They are kidnapped by crazed brothers that are trying to please their mother. There were some rape and bondage scenes in the movie and I remember getting naked and playing the bondage scenes out.

I can tell you that when I was as young as ages 5-7 I would attempt to tie myself to a chair with jumprope (childrens' resources) and imagine myself in a room full of people watching me. Sometimes I would be naked too. And to be honest, I have no idea where this came from. It didn't register to me why I liked it, but I definitely understood the sexuality of it. And I was in no way ever abused, I come from an extremely stable family life, just normal people!
*However, I will say that nowadays as an adult in her 20s, the memory of doing these things makes me a little bit sick.

I have a friend who was harnessed into a bed when very young. Her mother was undergoing mental illness when she was younger and could not cope with caring for her, so the easy solution was to tie her daughter into the bed.
It seemed kinky when she asked me to re-enact it with her when we were going out together. I had heard of people that got pleasure from this, but the restraints helped her feel content and secure and not trapped or helpless in any way. She liked to make love like that.
She was able to relax and enjoy the sensations. No pain or violence, just immobilization.
Much of what happens to us when very young leaves an imprint, sometimes subconscious or a forgotten memory. It can have a big impact on us in later life.
Trauma or shock that may be too horrible to remember can be processed by the mind into something we can deal with. Often it is sexualized. I don't know why. Our brain get wired that way and it may become a 'fetish' or 'kink' in later life.