I'm scared, please help.

I'm a 20 year old male and i think i'm a pedophile as i am into teenage girls (13-17, no younger than 13). I often get turned on by them and are attracted to them much more than my age, i am into girls my own age but i find it harder to be attracted to them and get turned on by them. I am scared this will affect me for the rest of my life.

Now today I joined a group on a app and it was trading young teen girl p**n, i posted some videos as i've been in other groups and so did some others, the admin of the group said people would be kicked if people do not post or keep posting. I only posted a few videos before i was kicked off the group but the last message i saw was, i am not sure if it was from the admin or someone else as they both didn't have a profile picture, that person said "i am the police". Now i don't know what happened after that but I immedantly deleted the group and other groups and deleted the only videos i had. It's 5:26 am where i live and i haven't slept all night, everytime i lie down i am stressing out really badly and i just can't relax, but when i get up and walk around, i don't stress as much but i'm still stressing. I start a new job tomorrow and i can't be like this. I am very very scared, the thought of those videos just make me sick now and the thought of going to jail makes me sick and scares me.... I would rather die than be in a cell. I don't want these thoughts anymore, i just want to be into girls my own age! I will end my life if i have to go to jail.

Alrighty, let's take this one point at a time:

Firstly, the term you're looking for is ephebophile - an adult who is attracted to adolescents. Pedophile refers to pre-puberty children.

Secondly, at your age attraction to teenagers is actually pretty common. You'll know if it's just part of your sexual development or actually a paraphelia in 5 years or so.

Thirdly, stop watching child pornography immediately. There are alternatives made specifically for people like you by consenting adults who look underage. It's legally and, more importantly, ethically acceptable and will still give you the same experience.

Next, always take the above approach to dating. There are women out there who naturally look young, but there are also women who for medical reasons will never look "adult" but still age normally mentally, and still have the same needs as most people. These women are the way to fulfil your fantasy. The only ethical way. Do not date or mess around with underage girls. They are at a different stage of life to you, they're not as emotionally developed. There are plenty of 15, 16 year old girls who sound very mature and are completely sure that they know what they're doing and consent and that it's all fine, but they're almost always wrong, and the trauma hits them later in life. Quite apart from being afraid of going to jail, as much as that is a risk and should be considered, don't ###$ up a teenager's emotional and sexual development for life. Just don't do it.

Finally, you're probably pretty safe right now. Police sting operatives don't announce themselves in the chat, they pose as users until they've collected enough data to make an arrest, and then they physically go and arrest some people. If the app were hit by a sting, the first you'd know about it would either be a knock on your door or an official notice announcing the app was shut down the next time you tried to access it. Most likely, whoever said it was messing with you, not actually police. If they were police, they're after manufacturers and distributors, not low-level viewers, so you'd likely either be overlooked or asked to cooperate, rather than jailed.

That's right hebophile and i totally forgot, i am in love with a video game character, which is Ellie from The Last of Us, she is 14, but doesn't look it and is mature for her age.

I have totally stopped looking at child pornography, not looking at it anymore, it just makes me feel sick thinking about it now.

I've seen many girls my age that look younger, i know not to mess around with them... I just know i wouldn't get close to touching them or trying to have sex with them, the closest i've gone is just being friendly with them.

I hope i'm safe, i'm still worried about it but i am totally sure it's okay. I've only seen small amounts of child pornography and it's enough to make me feel sick now and am definitely not looking at it anymore. I don't know where the message came from or where the group was running but i'm from Australia. I think you right about that a police officer just wouldn't announce themself like that, as i know of the group had only been around for less than a hour so you'd think if a cop was on there, they'd stay on the group longer and probably would have explained themself more in one message, so it would've been a joke then. So it would be totally fine, then?