Need help with breaking the cycle of shame

Looking at legal porn has helped keep mind off of the other kind, but I want to get rid of Internet fapping all together. I can go through a day (sometimes many days) focusing on the positive aspects of my life, the growth I've made, my family, my professional achievements, etc... then something happens, a trigger, a brain relapse... the cycle of shame returns, and I'm back to wasting hours online.

It was a big step for me to finally acknowledge that I'm a pedophile, but I don't want to go on feeling bad about it. The supportive community here has helped me tremendously since I no longer feel rotten and alone about my condition. I've always wanted to get help and support in the analog world, but I was too scared to look for it.

Focusing on the good helps so much, and to realize that I'm not a bad person, but rather I'm a person who can have bad thoughts and bad Internet browsing behavior. But it doesn't last. It's like there is a part of me that wants to keep punishing myself for my condition.

I need to break the cycle of shame.

Why should you wish to stop legal and normal sexual behavior????

It seems to me this post is what I was talking about in my other thread about the new panic of masturbation and porn. Why should you feel shame at looking at legal porn and having sex with yourself?

Like these other mofos, i'm no expert. But i got a couple questions. Are you married? How old are you age range is find if you want to be all unspecific about yourself even tough there is this annoying thing called an I.P. address... but anyway i felt way better about myself since finding this site in a short period of time. I got further relieve after telling my mother( yeah i determined i could and was right lucky me). So now i don't feel like dying so much.

I think the above was not on topic but the point is if you can tell anyone in real life they might be able to assist you the most with this problem of porn shame. For me personally I don't think anybody can convince me to stop watching porn other than a girlfreind or wife(I have neither).

If it's possible to tell anyone in the real world without negetive consiquenses I reccomend it.

That's just my 2.5 cents.
But i would not worry about it unless i was married or a had a girlfreind thats just me.

Feeling shame about viewing and fapping to CP is one thing. I fail to see why anyone should be ashamed of doing so to pictures of adults. If you are in a relationship and you are not being psychical with your partner because of porn use that is another issue, but that you use porn and masturbate is not a thing to be ashamed of?????

cumulusjames wrote:Why should you wish to stop legal and normal sexual behavior????

It seems to me this post is what I was talking about in my other thread about the new panic of masturbation and porn. Why should you feel shame at looking at legal porn and having sex with yourself?

Perhaps because there are better ways to live one's life than be a slave to any desire?

I don't feel shame about legal porn. Only the other kind (which I have stopped looking at). I guess the title is a little misleading because what I'm having trouble with is controlling my addictive behaviors with porn in general. If it was something that I only did recreationally, and did not get consumed by it (i can look and look for hours on end when I should be working).

Feelings of shame and self loathing come back and they help make me feel worthless and surfing for porn then seems justified "I can get work done later, right now this makes me feel good". Then I masturbate. Then i'm disgusted with myself. Then I swear to keep my focus on my wife, family, and work... Then the cycle begins again.

What I'm looking for help with is what to do when a trigger happens, or when the idea of getting off pops in my head. I do have high self confidence and self esteem, but triggers can get the best of me and take over my mind.

http://get-help.stopitnow.org.uk/

that kind of help???

cop this wrote:

cumulusjames wrote:Perhaps because there are better ways to live one's life than be a slave to any desire?

Exactly

The last sentence in the first paragraph had me assuming that you went back to those ways. I see where you cleaned it up in the subsequent post.

Breaking the cycle of shame is like anything else you are going to have to deal with it in increments. It is there, heals some then there again. I see no shame in legal porn and masterbation unless your wife has a problem. If she is fulfilled and has no problem with it then fine. I dont think its harmful to keep that part of you a secret if your wife doesnt know...just my opinion.