In the legal system

samuel77 wrote:No! Paedophilia can't be wrong, because "wrong" implies that one made a decision. A nice paper on the ethics is: http://www.ntnu.no/ojs/index.php/etikk_i_praksis/article/view/1718/1836.

If you want to have this discussion it may be best we take it to another thread, it's not really relevant here. However, I will say that while I accept paedophilla is not a choice anyone freely or consciously makes, I can't believe in any explanation that uses nature of nurture to excuse these actions. We really shouldn't be trying to legitimise this by claiming otherwise. Personally I feel anyone who does is still in denial about the nature of this disease and aspects of their own past.

No one chooses to be a alcoholic, gambler, or drug addict. But no one is born a alcoholic, gambler, or drug addict either.

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(3 weeks and 3 days since last relapse)

InTheUK wrote:Got a date next week from Lucy Faithfull for the initial one to one meeting to get on their program. Feels like I'm now entering in to the next phase. Hopefully 10 weeks of this interspersed with police interviews and court dates - Merry Christmas!

InTheUK that's great to hear! Feels so long ago since my first one on one meeting, hope it goes well and remember to be yourself and honest/open, I talked to a guy called Tom through my LF program...they're all experienced with people in our situations so remember that nothing you can say will shock them. They also have great knowledge of the legal system so bring any questions with you

samuel77 wrote:No! Paedophilia can't be wrong, because "wrong" implies that one made a decision. A nice paper on the ethics is: http://www.ntnu.no/ojs/index.php/etikk_i_praksis/article/view/1718/1836.

Samuel perhaps you could open a thread with this in? I'd like to give my own opinion on this matter but putting it here would not be best.


I had my first probation session today, kinda weird to think that I'll be seeing this person for the next 3 years. I am to attend weekly, until a program opens up suitable for me (as these programs are 36 moths long so new programs start every 6-12 months) when I'll be attending fortnightly and then monthly once the program ends/when they see fit to decrease.

Talked about everything from my living situation, to my sexual orientation and finally my offence.
It was also very weird talking about my masturbation habits to someone who I just met =^}
My officer is getting me to make a record of stimulating thoughts, the times they happen, reason for happening, and if I act on them (and how e.g fantasy, pornography, ejaculation).

OriginalDesign wrote:[
My officer is getting me to make a record of stimulating thoughts, the times they happen, reason for happening, and if I act on them (and how e.g fantasy, pornography, ejaculation).

Wow. Big Brother wants to know when you ejaculate. Glad I don't live under that numbskull who is trying to ban privacy.

tiggy wrote:

OriginalDesign wrote:[
My officer is getting me to make a record of stimulating thoughts, the times they happen, reason for happening, and if I act on them (and how e.g fantasy, pornography, ejaculation).

Wow. Big Brother wants to know when you ejaculate. Glad I don't live under that numbskull who is trying to ban privacy.

Privacy is a thing of the past for the sex offender.

cumulusjames wrote:Privacy is a thing of the past for the sex offender.

Yeah, it's not like they have a right to have the punishment over once they've done their time, or a right to privacy like humans have.

I'm in the system also. Uk sounds much like it is in the US. May be triggering, but I'll give the story along with whats happened. I fell in love with a young girl. She was the daughter of a co-worker. She was 10 at the time. I spent as much time with her as possible, they eventually had a room to rent, I took it.I never tried anything with the girl as I didn't want to hurt her. I showered her with afection, admeration, and attention. I was grooming without realizing I was. We shared everything, it was tourture to resist trying anything for five years. I found out she had a crush and had been with another person so I let loose, I told her I was a pedophile, she then wanted me to be more then what I was. It lasted another two years we had a kid her parents were ok with us. When she turned 18 she applied for state astence, they found out about our age difference of 10 years and did the math. Mandatory reporting, I was charged. Origionally 80 counts of 3rd degree criminal sexual conduct, minamun sentence 2 years each here. I stayed silent got a lawyer, everything in the end they could prove 1 count because of the child we had, took a plea deal 18 months stayed for 10 years, serve 30 days county, 10 years probation, treatment, 10 years S.O. registry. 8 years into it all now, the registry is B.S. Probation group apointments monthly, treatment every 2 weeks. Over all the court process took 3 years of back and fourth, lost a 70k a year manager job. Have 3 other kids and a way younger wife thats into roleplay, and knows about me.

-- Fri Oct 23, 2015 12:32 am --

OriginalDesign wrote:
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My officer is getting me to make a record of stimulating thoughts, the times they happen, reason for happening, and if I act on them (and how e.g fantasy, pornography, ejaculation).

After a while it wont bug you anymore. Thats kinda sad, but we did do things that we knew could get us into this.

Well, an update on my progress through the system. I've been recommended to a course with LucyFaithfull that starts in the new year. So, unless the police spring a surprise on me, I now have a couple of months and the joy that is Christmas to sit around and wait. Life is currently on hold.

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(1 month and 1 week since last relapse)

InTheUK wrote:Well, an update on my progress through the system. I've been recommended to a course with LucyFaithfull that starts in the new year. So, unless the police spring a surprise on me, I now have a couple of months and the joy that is Christmas to sit around and wait. Life is currently on hold.

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(1 month and 1 week since last relapse)

The course is hit and miss from what I gather. Mine was quite good and a lot of fun. The women were mostly non judgmental - apart from some minor homophobia - they went on about age appropriate relationships, the older younger thing is a massive part of the gay world, we DO have teenagers advertising for 30+ and even one who advertises for 50+, as well as couples who are 18 and 40. They also suggested that one should not go gay cruising (a MAJOR part of gay life) and purported to tell me claim they new the gay scene better then me (I've only been on it since I was 13, what would I know), and claimed that no gay man they ever met ever heard of gay cruising. That night I turned on grindr and counted no less than 50 men in less than a 2 mile radius and I live in a small town.

After that, if you avoid prison you will be sent on the iSOTP which from what I gather is highly judgmental, and from my view point, full of hetronoramtive bias.

Your biggest worry is whether it gets reported in the paper and you get put up on ukpaedosexposed....

InTheUK wrote:Well, an update on my progress through the system. I've been recommended to a course with LucyFaithfull that starts in the new year. So, unless the police spring a surprise on me, I now have a couple of months and the joy that is Christmas to sit around and wait. Life is currently on hold.

That's good news in my opinion, my course was a young programme one-on-one with a ex-probation officer. I found it to be very valuable and rewarding, not to mention a non judgemental private and confidential environment to talk about my attractions. The officer was experienced in the legal system, as well as a decade working with offenders of similar offences to you and I.

cumulusjames wrote:After that, if you avoid prison you will be sent on the iSOTP which from what I gather is highly judgmental, and from my view point, full of hetronoramtive bias.

Are you speaking from experience? I thought the goal here was to reabilitate not to judge, and if so I guess I"ll have that to look forward to ha.

Well ###$ today has been hard.

My one (of two) days off, planned out to go to my probation appointment in the afternoon and get some things done in the morning.

Wasn't even dressed by 10am when the door knocked, was two non-uniformed police men who came in, they were there for an unexpected visit, unexpected it was.

Had to fill out some forms, talked about my current situation, my sexuality and why I offended.

Then had a look at my history of my 2 phones, ipad and computer...all was fine but for two things.

1. The browser I was using for both of my phones was auto-deleting the history after every 2 days.
Actually didn't realise this, and now I'm using Chrome, hopefully that'll help.
2. The terms I was using on legal porn sites would look suspicious to police examiners, so I should stick to using "adult" in place of "young" terms.

Went to probation, nothing really eventful, now just feel like my off day has been wasted...