POCD? Pedophilia? I'm out of ideas.

Hello,
I'm a 17 year old guy and I'm having trouble figuring out what's going on.

A few months ago I posted in the OCD forum as I was suffering from what I believed to be POCD. It came out of the blue during/after a really awful relationship I had and made my life living hell for awhile. It died down for the most part but it's brought up even more questions.

So before the POCD/intrusive thoughts thing I was fine for the most part, I was attracted to girls my own age, I was turned on by girls within my age range (15-19) as well as older girls, both in porn and in real life.

Now when I started watching porn (When I was about 15) I didn't really like watching people have sex as I felt weird watching them so I just watched solo girls masturbating, I watched all ages however as you'd expect I was slightly more turned on by girls I assumed to be about 18 as they were closer in age to me than the 25-35 year old pornstars.

However as time went on I found myself watching videos with younger looking girls in it, Always amateur and probably at some point underage (Maybe 16-17) I never went and looked at any sort of child porn or anything. That's disgusting.

I don't know if I was turned on because I thought they were underage specifically or what however this is my fear.

Anyway, Fast forward past the whole POCD thing and It's just zapped my sex drive. I'm still emotionally attracted to girls my age and older, But I'm not turned on as much by the idea of sex. I went back and watched some of the videos I had been watching and they still turned me on easily.

My question is what the heck happened, Why am I now only attracted to this? where did my sex drive go? I don't oggle kids on the street and I don't get aroused when I look at kids or anything (I get nervous that I could get aroused, But that's the stupid OCD thing) I've never had any desire to look at child porn, Masturbate to children or have sex with children.

The only thing I can think of is I've somehow trained my brain to only like this and now I'm stuck. What are your opinions?
I just want to go back to how it was before all of this.
Thanks
Korey.

Hi, paedophilia is an attraction to pre-pubescent children with hebaphilia being an attraction to pubescent children. From what you have said you are neitehr of this. Ephebophilia is the attraction to 14 – 19 year olds and the age of consent ranges from 14 – 21 in different areas of the globe, psychology does not define ephebophilia to be a pathology, that is a political construct. It is not unreasonable that a 17 year old would be attracted to 15 years year olds.

As long as you obey the laws of your country you have nothing to feel ashamed of from what you have said. Protect yourself by not looking at pornography that you think might be underage.