Watching urination fetish. Please help.

I've never opened up to anyone about this before and I'm being serious about this post. So please take me seriously.

I'm a 17 year old male and at some point in my life I became addicted to watching other guys urinate. I used to find the idea of guys peeing standing up disgusting for some reason, but after a while I became turned on about it (I don't pee standing up, because I still have their weird conflicting thoughts in my head about it being gross. I live in a mostly female household so I sit down instead). To be clear, I do not go into public restrooms and watch. I only look at images and videos online. Whether it is urinating in a toilet, urinal or outside, I just get sexually aroused upon seeing it. This only guys urinating, as for some reason I love it when they stand and aim with their "thing", watching the stream.

Recently, it has been getting out of hand. I'm currently on break from school and I have more time on my hands. It's sort of a bitter sweet thing, I love looking at the scene, but I wish I was there witnessing it, giving me an ill feeling. I do not ever go into the school toilets, because my eyes always wander on guys peeing in the urinals on in the toilet with the door open. If I would ever go in, I'm afraid of being identified as a pervert.

I don't know if this is a homosexual thing, because I usually like girls. But sometimes unwillingly I get in this mood where I want to watch a guy pee. The only thing that gets me sexually aroused is about a guy is his looks or when he's peeing.

I really need help with this problem, because I don't want to keep having this addiction. Like I said above, I love looking at images and videos of guys peeing, but at the same time I become sad inside about how much I want to be witnessing them doing it in the moment. If I did that though I would be a pervert. Please help.

To making this extra clear, I don't like the idea of water sports/golden showers. I only like when I guy is straight up peeing into or on something, not on someone.

Not my cuppa, but I'd consider it akin to golden showers, with a twist.

If it bothers you that bad, and, tbh it seems to me a fairly innocuous fetish- as with any porn, the key to quitting is to quit, according to anti porn sites.

The more you resist looking at porn, the easier it gets to resist. And I've managed to do it.

It's the getting started resisting that's hard

Ofc that only touches on the porn. You might find your attraction is reduced once you stop indulging in imagery, but in my experience, things that turn me on tend to stick. They lessen, if I refrain from feeding them, but they're still there in the shadows. I'm just speaking for me, you understand.

Besides the porn addiction aspect, is the idea itself, of being attracted to that distressing to you?