Regret of not having been "sexually abused"/ Am I insane ?

At 14 I was keen to ###$ but what 14 year old isn't.

Mustelidae wrote:At 14 I was keen to ###$ but what 14 year old isn't.

Me, actually
I considered myself asexual when I was 14
Maybe you're making a joke, though. In any case, I don't mean to sound angry.

I meant the average 14 year old boy and you didn't sound angry at all

Boulangerie wrote:I think it is healthy. Sexuality is a natural thing - it is something people learn, like one would learn maths. Now a child, in order to learn maths, first needs a teacher - he/she would as a result also need a teacher to teacher him/her about sexuality. I don't know why it'd not be healthy to show him/her the touches which would make him/her feel good.

I don't disagree. I was just trying to focus on the shame aspect in my post.

Boulangerie -I'm sorry if I came off as rude or anything! You haven't done anything wrong. This is a place to voice your thoughts after all c:

As a child I had not had consensual sexual contact with an adult, no. It was the other girls in my neighborhood that I had sexual pleasure with, but I'm sure that if my older crushes had given in and touched me or something that I would have enjoyed it. The most I experienced from them was cuddling and letting me sit on their lap and whatnot.

An Autopedophile is someone who...well I'm still sorta learning, I just realized I was a few days ago thanks to this forum. I'm someone who as a child/minor was interested in romantic and sexual relationships with boys much older than me. I was aware this was wrong and I liked the idea of it nontheless. So I suppose an autopedophile would be someone underage who desires sexual contact with someone older or overage.

I think this is likely what you are, you enjoy the idea of minors having consensual non forced sexual pleasure with adults and wished you could have been one of those minors to experience that as well. This is taboo according to society, but you're not the only one. I agree with you in that adults make these experiences worse by instilling this shame and fear into kids for any kind of sexual contact, be that masturbation or contact with other people.

In my opinion as long as it isn't forced or hurting anyone(physically or mentally), sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.

Good morning everybody - thank you for all your replies.

cumulusjames : Were you already entering puberty when you were 13 ?

Have you ever watched CP ? If so, have you ever witnessed a child's orgasm ? *mod edit- inappropriate tone*

Well, do you think I would have been unharmed if it were non-violent and non-forced ?

Mustelidae : Well that's good to read.

skeleton-countess : Well, were you pubescent at this time ?

sprooglestrewft : Oh excuse me. Therefore you also think that intercourse between an adult and a child are healthy ?

ACuriousGhost : Well, that's fine thank you - the fact is that I sometimes may come off insensitive, I'm trying to fix it.

How old were you, and how old were your older crushes ?

But it seemed to me that all children once had that kind of thoughts, hadn't they ? That's called - I think - "puppy crush" in English ; in French it's named as a whole "une amourette". Granted, one does not hear about the sexual aspect of these crushes - there assuredly is one.

Yes, it really is the wrongest act. I read a lot of topics about people who had sexual intercourse with adults when they were young ; the majority said they didn't know "it was wrong" when they were children... It does annoy me a lot ; why would it suddenly turn into a bad thing ? I mean - they all wrote that they had orgasms and that they even asked for it : where is the "abuse" ?

(oh, I thought child masturbation was now accepted ?)

I also think that way.

Well thank you again for answering. It is a pleasure to read you all.

Boulangerie wrote:Oh excuse me. Therefore you also think that intercourse between an adult and a child are healthy ?

When you say intercourse, I assume you mean penetration. I'm not sure if that's healthy for a child since there is a big size difference in equipment, and a chance of pregnancy. I'm no expert though.

I try to remain outwardly agnostic on the healthiness of sexual relations between children and adults for political reasons, but also because I don't really know how children's minds deal with sex. I don't want to give the impression that it's okay in the society we currently live in. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be in another.

I'm all for sex positivity and if were going to stop antagonizing sexuality than we need to include childhood sexuality, that's something we need to work towards though, because as long as there is there is such massive stigma attached to those experiences we will be the bad guys. I honestly believe sex play is perfectly healthy by itself. The world has a lot of changing to do before it can accept that. I think of how long it took me to accept that and I am a girl lover myself.

Boulangerie wrote:Good morning everybody - thank you for all your replies.

cumulusjames : Were you already entering puberty when you were 13 ?

Have you ever watched CP ? If so, have you ever witnessed a child's orgasm ? At this age it certainly must be exquisite to experience ; one does not control one's body really well, therefore orgasm must be indomitable...

Well, do you think I would have been unharmed if it were non-violent and non-forced ?

I was entering puberty by the time I was 12. I was having same sex attractions by 11. In the 90's, due to homophobia, gays cruising took the form of cottaging - cruising for sex in public toilets, often these were in places where schoolboys would pass through and young boys like me would get involved. The youngest I have seen orgasm was 12 in those days. Several of us were cruising regularly at 13.

I also had sexual experiences with same age boys. So I have seen underage boys orgasm in real life, including myself whilst having sex with men.

When I was 14 I started to do prostitution, which I did on and off until I was 25. I discovered gay phone lines when I was 14 and used to sneak out the house to have sex with men.

In my social circles over the years I have known many 13 - 15 year olds who were sexually active, many with men. Consensual sex of this nature was not policed in the UK until the early 2000's.

I have never seen a pre-pubescent orgasm no.

When I was a child, around the age of 10, I had fantasies about having sex with adult men. I even stupidly Googled "men who have sex with boys" and came across a NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Lover Association) message board. There weren't any pics, but several posts by men talking about what they would do (or possibly did) to young boys. I would fantasize about posting on the forum and talking to some of them, trading pics and cybering. I would think about finding one who lived close by and planning to get him over to my house so I could have sex with him., and eventually others. One of my biggest fantasies I had, and still have to this day, was having several (4+) men over to use me, one after the other.

Just wanted to share with you that you are not the only one with this fantasy.

Boulangerie wrote:How old were you, and how old were your older crushes ?

I started having crushes on older boys as young as 7-8. It depended on the boy, but I had several crushes at that age where the boy was 12, 17, etc. I had a crush on my male teacher who was in his 20's when I was about 12. I was very sad to hear he was engaged, lol. I actually got very pouty because I realized all my efforts the entire year had been in vain.

Boulangerie wrote:(oh, I thought child masturbation was now accepted ?)

I'm not sure. I knew at my age it was kinda seen as gross or whatever because adults thought it implied abuse or something?? Idk. I started when I was in 3rd grade and achieved orgasm from it, I never thought it was a bad thing. It's a natural thing.