Struggling with a Paraphilia

Hi!

I'm Bee, and I've been dealing with a paraphilia for over 10 years (I'm 18 now). When I was younger, I felt that something was really wrong with me--and then I found out that I have a paraphilia and I found that out through an asexual website actually (haha). But I guess my paraphilia didn't make sense till I found out about a year back what it's called, and it made so much sense when I found out. It was such a relief... and such a burden as well.

I didn't begin looking for how people treat paraphilias until recently, but when I looked it up I realized that I've tried treating it those same ways in the past and none of it has worked. AT ALL. And I feel like having a paraphilia makes me feel like I'm sick in the head and that something's... WRONG with me.

I've only told a few people that I have a paraphilia, and only one person knows exactly what my paraphilia is. I don't feel comfortable even telling people that I have a paraphilia, but now I found this forum and I'm hoping to be able to actually talk about it without worrying so much about it. And I'm really wondering, how do you guys do it?? How are you supposed to react towards your paraphilia?? I'm still trying to figure out what to do about having a paraphilia, and I know nobody out there whom I know would understand it since they don't have a paraphilia, so I'm hoping to be able to have a chance to speak with you guys about it.

Many thanks!
Bee

I think that everyone reacts differently to the realisation that they have a paraphilia. I guess fear and confusion would be the most common first reaction. Depending on what kind of paraphilia you have and what the cause is, you may be able to deal with it by going through therapy and potentially 'curing' yourself. If it is a part of who you are and you cannot change that then learning to accept yourself is the best way to deal with it. Obviously it may still cause you distress once you have accepted yourself so finding coping mechanisms is important. Possibly taking up a hobby or some other way to relax and take your mind off of your issues. It's always important to keep a healthy work, family and personal balance so focusing too much on one of them as a way of coping could cause issues.

Mustelidae wrote:I think that everyone reacts differently to the realisation that they have a paraphilia. I guess fear and confusion would be the most common first reaction. Depending on what kind of paraphilia you have and what the cause is, you may be able to deal with it by going through therapy and potentially 'curing' yourself. If it is a part of who you are and you cannot change that then learning to accept yourself is the best way to deal with it. Obviously it may still cause you distress once you have accepted yourself so finding coping mechanisms is important. Possibly taking up a hobby or some other way to relax and take your mind off of your issues. It's always important to keep a healthy work, family and personal balance so focusing too much on one of them as a way of coping could cause issues.

Solid advice.
But yes, it depends on your paraphilia to be honest, as some have bigger impacts on peoples lives than others, and you deal with them differently depending what they are.

May I ask what your paraphilia is?

Welcome to the forum.

Well, I have macrophilia, with some microphilia. And it's been eating at me for so long. And I feel like it hasn't gotten any better over time--just gotten worse. I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with it... I know some people would argue that it's not even close to the stress which comes with pedophilia, but I have felt for years that it's just as strenuous and painful as any other paraphilia. I just didn't know the name for it till a short while back.

beethebuzz wrote:Well, I have macrophilia, with some microphilia. And it's been eating at me for so long. And I feel like it hasn't gotten any better over time--just gotten worse. I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with it... I know some people would argue that it's not even close to the stress which comes with pedophilia, but I have felt for years that it's just as strenuous and painful as any other paraphilia. I just didn't know the name for it till a short while back.

Ahh I know someone with this paraphilia.
How to cope with it.. how do you currently deal with it? View it online or read stories?

People deal with things all differently.

Having just come to realize my interest and young girls I know how you must have felt. It was a feeling of pure dread, especially after having seen the effects it has had. I don't really get any more urges than I did before, but all my sexual frustration is now centered around little girls 9-14 or so. In my case, it's simply a matter of ensuring they are happy and keeping my desire hidden until I can sort it out later when they are safe. You will be able to manage it, you have been for some time. Who knows, maybe you will find a big strong partner, and live out your lives together. Just out of interest, how tall are you? And how big is your ideal partner?

Hey everyone, first off I want to say that you're issue with microphilia is in no way less important or dangerous that pedophilia. Either way it is something you feel you want to fight and maybe correct if I'm guessing right here. I have only become interested in little girls age 8-16 in the last year or so. I'm in my 40's and have kids (boy, girl) and have to deal now with my daughters 10 year old friends in bikinis in my yard. This is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. I know myself and I know right from wrong so I'm safe as far as acting on anything. For me I can get a lot of arousal and enjoyment out of just looking at these girls either in my yard in the street or online. It is frustrating not having anyone to share these fantasies with which is why I'm here. I have no intention of trying to repress or shelve these desires so I just enjoy myself in private. I think behind closed doors everyone must have something they're hiding, or at least that's why I tell myself.