I am very confused about a fetish. Please help

Hello

I`m a 16 year old straight male. I remember when I was litle (maybe around 5-6) I learned that I was into being dominated by girls. I was little so I didn`t even know why but I just liked the idea of a girl tieing me up and kissing me. As I got older I got into it more and more. For the past, about, 6 years I have been into the idea of being raped by a woman. I try my hardest to be as nice as I can but I have never let anyone push me around. I hate the idea of someone overpowering me or even taking advantage of me. I don`t understand why the thought of a girl somehow overpowering me and rapeing me turns me on, while in any othere sercumstance it would uppset me. I understand that I am young and that I will change as the years go on, but this is one thing that has never gone away and only gets worse. I don`t like this fetish and I don`t like that thinking of a girl/woman rapeing me turns me on.

What I like about it is the idea of being helpless and overpowered. But at the same time I have never liked to feel helpless or overpowered exept for this.

I am a vergin and have only had one legititimate girlfriend. So I don`t think any past event could have caused this.

I am very confused and don`t like that I get turned on by this. someone please help me

If you don't think there was any particular event in your childhood and you can't pinpoint anything then perhaps this is a part of your sexuality and you can't change it?

Therapy may be helpful. A therapist may find a point in your childhood that did cause these thoughts and working through that might shift your sexuality? They may also be able to provide you with some techniques to help deal with the thoughts of they distress you. By the sounds of things it may be very difficult to 'cure' you of these thoughts or perhaps not possible at all.

Your other option could be to eventually accept and enjoy these thoughts. You could even enter into some kind of relationship with a dominant girl and learn to enjoy yourself. It could be a serious thing or a casual arrangement. Have you considered posting in the fetishes subforum? You may find some more useful information and more knowledgeable people there. You might also consider reading through or posting in the bdsm subforum and finding out some information on that. Either way good luck ABD hopefully this helped in some way.

Welcome,

May I ask why do you dislike the fact that this turns you on?

I'll take a stab at it and say it may be due to you being young, and you may feel less 'manly' by liking being dominated rather than being dominating? And the fact that you're straight makes it harder to grasp?

Many men who typically in their day to day lives/jobs that people would perceive as 'manly' and hold powerful positions, but sexually they like to be dominated. This doesn't mean anything. Don't worry about it. Society does seem to have a notion that men who like to be dominated by a woman aren't 'manly', but so what? Don't let what others may or may not think about your sexual preferences skew your perceptions of who you are and what you like. If everybody did this, the world would be such a DULL and miserable place.

I may be off target, but I don't think I'd be too far off if I'm honest.

There are many posts and many people on these forums which do not like what turns them on.

My advice would be to accept that this is a part of your sexuality, you will be much happier for it than continuing trying to fight it. And do some reading on the subject and browse these forums some more, educating yourself on it is the best thing.

Enjoy your stay.

Thank you guys so much for responding and what you have really said helps. but what bothers me about my fetish is not so much that I like to be submisive, but that I like the idea of being raped. Don`t get me wrong I would definitely still be into normal sex and consensual BDSM. But I also really like the idea of being raped by a woman non consensualy. And that is what bothers me about this.

confused23 wrote:Thank you guys so much for responding and what you have really said helps. but what bothers me about my fetish is not so much that I like to be submisive, but that I like the idea of being raped. Don`t get me wrong I would definitely still be into normal sex and consensual BDSM. But I also really like the idea of being raped by a woman non consensualy. And that is what bothers me about this.

Many people have that fantasy too. Why does it bother you?

You may not know but this is a very common fantasy, more than people realise, for males and females to either want to be raped or to rape someone. You need to find a way to use that fantasy in a way that is safe, like role playing being raped, give her no limits, etc? I'm afraid I can't help much with this specific fantasy. But people with rape fantasies tend to role play it with a partner to satisfy their fantasies. There isn't much else, without getting dangerously close to putting yourself in danger, in one way or another.

Some people on here have said in the past that they want to be raped and have said they want to wear short skirts etc and go to places where guys hang out and be raped. That is never safe nor advisable, but I suspect you being a guy wanting to be raped by a woman, that isn't really an option either. So I just advise you to find a female that likes being dominant and explore and have fun.

Do you like older females, or girls your own age?

Because of you do like the idea of being dominated and raped by older women, that is much easier to find and accomplish, than a girl your own age.

Valar Morghulis wrote:

confused23 wrote:Thank you guys so much for responding and what you have really said helps. but what bothers me about my fetish is not so much that I like to be submisive, but that I like the idea of being raped. Don`t get me wrong I would definitely still be into normal sex and consensual BDSM. But I also really like the idea of being raped by a woman non consensualy. And that is what bothers me about this.

Many people have that fantasy too. Why does it bother you?

You may not know but this is a very common fantasy, more than people realise, for males and females to either want to be raped or to rape someone. You need to find a way to use that fantasy in a way that is safe, like role playing being raped, give her no limits, etc? I'm afraid I can't help much with this specific fantasy. But people with rape fantasies tend to role play it with a partner to satisfy their fantasies. There isn't much else, without getting dangerously close to putting yourself in danger, in one way or another.

Some people on here have said in the past that they want to be raped and have said they want to wear short skirts etc and go to places where guys hang out and be raped. That is never safe nor advisable, but I suspect you being a guy wanting to be raped by a woman, that isn't really an option either. So I just advise you to find a female that likes being dominant and explore and have fun.

Do you like older females, or girls your own age?

Because of you do like the idea of being dominated and raped by older women, that is much easier to find and accomplish, than a girl your own age.

What bothered me about it was that rape is a serious social taboo and people get really messed up when they aren`t into it. So I thought it was bad that I liked it.

I`ve honestly fantasized about being raped by both older women and girls my own age.

well, I feel a lot better now.I also know now that I`m not a one out of a million freak. This really helped a lot.

What bothered me about it was that rape is a serious social taboo and people get really messed up when they aren`t into it. So I thought it was bad that I liked it.

I`ve honestly fantasized about being raped by both older women and girls my own age.

well, I feel a lot better now.I also know now that I`m not a one out of a million freak. This really helped a lot.

Man don't worry about it. You aren't going to hurt anyone, you aren't going to rape an innocent person, you're fine, enjoy getting sodomized, used and abused by a female, you aren't hurting anybody. If you don't associate the word 'rape' with what you like, it really just becomes you enjoying being dominated and having your body being used and abused by a female for both of your pleasure, what's wrong with that?

The word 'rape' people do shriek at, just say it differently, like you love the idea of a woman dominating you, totally using your body in any way she wants to. I don't know what you like to happen to you in your rape fantasies, but you can find a way to say it better.

I know you fantasise about non-consensual rape, but for 99.9% of people with rape fantasies, it stays as a fantasy and never becomes reality, and for the people that it becomes reality for usually means they've committed an offence. A lot of fantasies don't or can't be acted out for one reason or another. But at least yours can be easily be enjoyed through role play.

You're just as normal as the next guy, trust me.

AFAIK rape fantasies are considered to be the third most popular fantasy. People just don't shout it out and let everybody know about it.

I'm the exact same way. I realized the main thing I like is the feeling of being completely restrained during sex- tied up so I can't move, eyes taped, mouth taped, raped.

I found something someone wrote on another site and I related with it. I would give this person credit but I forget where I found it. I did copy and paste it into a document to save though, they said:

"I don't have to make decisions, I just do what I'm told.. and suddenly I feel free and relaxed. I am able to focus on just one thing and not have my brain go into 10 different directions at once."

I don't know if this is something that relates to you, but it made me realize that this is one (of many) reasons I like it. I don't have to think, I don't have to speak or do any work, I don't have to worry if I'm doing the right thing or the wrong thing, I can just focus on the fact that it feels good. Again, just one aspect of it, but I thought it was an interesting point that they made, so I thought I'd share.