Making sense of my autopsy fetish

I really appreciate the help. I have signed up to Reddit today and found an autopsy group on there but I don't think it is the kind of place that will help me like this place is geared towards.

I do have a feeling of lacking control, yes. If I don't want to masturbate for a given period I don't want to suddenly think of something that will give me an erection and force me to masturbate even when I don't want to. How inconvenient would that be in a full time job for instance? Autopsies are something that will cause this, especially when I can recall graphic details from the videos.

Also the thought that we can just be reduced to meat and component parts, even an attractive woman whom you would think nothing normally happens to, handled unceremoniously on the autopsy slab.

As soon as I have masturbated I just want to get off the autopsy content as quickly as possible. I have never had negative fetishes towards living women, it is the thought of the corpse that can be used to fulfil my wildest fantasies that is a turn on for me.

As for my relationship with women-I don't know any, which is probably a red flag. I have visited prostitutes on three separate occasions, that is the most female intimacy I have had. I was too shy to approach teen girls as a teenager back in the 00s, they were largely a mystery to me.

It seems I am just aroused by the female form, even if it is dead. The thought of the soft clammy flesh is incredibly arousing. The thought of the pathologists seeing all the intimate parts of her body, all the parts that even her lovers wouldn't have seen, the pseudo intimacy of an autopsy examination. Even the vagina gets removed-from the inside.

It's all just too much. It is like it drags me into a different dimension when I think about autopsies. I don't have any past traumas that could lead to this fetish, other than first finding autopsy videos on Youtube, that was traumatic you could say. Also if I have objectifying thoughts about women it is because their bodies are so nicely shaped and therefore appealing, that seems to be what it boils down to. I know that isn't very insightful, sorry I can't elaborate any more.

Thanks a lot for your help, there is nothing you can really do from over the internet so don't feel obliged to reply, I will look into sadism as well.

Yeah, the problem here is that you can't see beyond the body, so it's highly objectifying. Have you tried trying to focus on the emotional part instead? Like women have feelings, emotions, fears, etc., and same with those dead women. They were living people before, with their own distinct personalities. It sounds complicated because you both feel guilty and aroused at the same time.
But if you keep focusing on the flesh instead of looking beyond it and think about their past personalities and lives then I doubt you can get over this fetish.

I totally agree with ElKahn, and I'd also advise staying away from this autopsy group on Reddit. I've got no intention of checking them out, because I know that if I see a whole bunch of people glorying in the butchery of dead people, it'll piss me right off.

They'll not be offering what I'd call a supportive environment, that's for sure, and there's a real danger that over-indulging in these videos could lead to a porn addiction that will take you to places you don't want to go.

Graveyard76 wrote:I totally agree with ElKahn, and I'd also advise staying away from this autopsy group on Reddit. I've got no intention of checking them out, because I know that if I see a whole bunch of people glorying in the butchery of dead people, it'll piss me right off.

They'll not be offering what I'd call a supportive environment, that's for sure, and there's a real danger that over-indulging in these videos could lead to a porn addiction that will take you to places you don't want to go.

Exactly this.
I was about to go to places I didn't want to go because of this morbid curiosity about the most extreme porn of all. I admit there were times when I wanted to go to certain places just to see if real rape videos or real torture videos exist.
Again, another example of how indulgence can take people's morals and good feelings and throw them away and replace them with this dark sense of selfishness and being so curious that you're willing to go that far.
Don't do that.
Stay away from that Reddit part. Reddit has dark subreddits, trust me.
The internet can be your worst enemy. Use it as a tool to help yourself, like this forum or other support forums, but don't use it in a way that can put you in danger.

I really appreciate the support. Those last couple of posts from Elkan and Graveyard76 really nailed it for me. I can't seem to get past the flesh. This is probably as a result of my lack of female interaction.

Although there seems to be something else at work, because for the last five days I had not masturbated and not had very many autopsy thoughts, when I finally did masturbate yesterday it was to normal stuff. There seems to be something going on with the chemical levels in my brain.

Sometimes the autopsy thoughts get so intense that I am just bombarded with them throughout the day, all I can think about is autopsies, it becomes all encompassing, I see links to autopsies everywhere.I think it must be the same kind of thing that causes mood swings in some people, causes autopsy thoughts in me.

Yet this past week, no autopsy thoughts at all, really strange. I actually felt really free from autopsies. I felt normal, like the burden had disappeared, I wish I could control it more and feel like that when I wanted to.

Although the days previous to my dry spell I had just indulged massively in autopsy content including downloading a new autopsy video of a German woman and uploading a Chinese autopsy video to Youtube. I guess I indulged so much that I temporarily lost interest. But it felt like more than that this past week, I have really felt free, it is hard to describe, the thoughts seemed to just disappear temporarily and apart from the aforementioned recent indulgence I can't think of anything else that would have caused it apart from my brain chemicals changing for the better.

Thanks for all the support, I am just brainstorming trying to analyse this condition that I have so don't feel inclined to reply, this is just for my and anyone else's benefit if they read this thread.

Also another thing I have noticed is in these medical videos, especially the foreign ones but the American ones to a lesser extent, no one seems to be sad, they seem like it's really routine and interesting to be dissecting a body. This adds an extra element of horror to the whole thing, that seems to play havoc with my brain. I mean the way they are so nonchalant about cutting somebody attractive and their associated organs. It feels as though the arousal is some sort of defence mechanism towards something so horrific, my brain doesn't know what else to do with the sensory overload.

The main problem with this fetish is that watching a body treated like a meat carcass at an abattoir is not natural at all. The sheer rough butcher like way they treat the body is something that shocks me to my very core. First opening the body with long cuts and then when they have the organs on the dissection table and cut them up just like steaks. I think every now and then the full horror of what I have watched in the videos hit me.

An intact cadaver being rendered down to an unrecognisable mess is shocking even though it is dead. It would seem I will be struggling with this fetish for my whole lifetime. Sometimes it dies down for a few days or even weeks but then the desire comes back to look at the content again and I sometimes masturbate up to five times a day to the most depraved autopsy footage on the net.

It's clearly something in my brain is responsible for my fetish but I don't know what it is.

ParanoidMan wrote:Also another thing I have noticed is in these medical videos, especially the foreign ones but the American ones to a lesser extent, no one seems to be sad, they seem like it's really routine and interesting to be dissecting a body. This adds an extra element of horror to the whole thing, that seems to play havoc with my brain. I mean the way they are so nonchalant about cutting somebody attractive and their associated organs. It feels as though the arousal is some sort of defence mechanism towards something so horrific, my brain doesn't know what else to do with the sensory overload.

I think you gave yourself a very important answer here....

Sometimes our brain reacts in mysterious ways. Maybe fetishizing such horror allowed you to not go mad or something. Maybe you got shocked when you saw the first video, and maybe repeatedly get shocked, but keep fetishizing the whole thing to keep yourself protected somehow.

I totally agree Elkhan, thanks for your help. I really think I would go mad if I didn't have this way of dealing with it. You are a good man helping people by posting on these forums, hell knows there are enough people needing help anyway.

Well last night when I was playing games on my computer my autopsy fetish struck again and thoughts of autopsies started to flood my brain. Thinking about the women I have seen on the autopsy slab in many a video, stripped naked, physically examined, cut open and every last organ cut out of their bodies and then dissected on a chopping board.

I resisted the urge to masturbate telling my brain that I control the fetish, not the other way around. Unfortunately that lead to constant autopsy thoughts throughout the night and that made me feel quite bad and depressed.

I feel like not masturbating when the autopsy fetish strikes is the correct way to break the cycle but if I don't masturbate I can't stop thinking of autopsies. If I gave in and masturbated my mind would have been cleared of autopsy thoughts but then I would have felt like the fetish won.

The whole process of a female autopsy just seems too arousing to deal with for my brain.