Making sense of my autopsy fetish

Another thing is I have even tried telling myself that autopsies aren't actually real, which could be dangerous for my perception of reality. But there is some truth to it, in terms of my reality, they are not real, for instance my day to day life has nothing to do with autopsies. I think most people must shut out things in this manner. For instance that autopsy video I saw where they take out that woman's breast implants, I try to tell myself that that didn't really happen and it was all an elaborate hoax. This strategy might be detrimental to my mental health but it's worth a try.