Limits

Ok so this is my intro and aomething i feel i need to say somewhere. Im 22 male. I was abusedish? with a male cousin when i was little ( he was 2yrs older). Ive had a messed up view since then. As a sober person im nice as can be and i would never harm anyone and dont condone acting out extreme versions of stuff. But as i got into college i met my now wife so i am loyal to her. But i had urges in college and she was far away. So i READ erotic material instead of watching. Ive never watched anything with children and dont want to but there are stories that mention kids. Ive felt horrible for the past 2 years for it and have since stopped reading anything. But im always paranoid the law will show up and haul me off. Every police officer i see i cant help but suspect is after me. Ita driving me crazy. I titled this limits because i had no limits. I could at will get off on literally any subject and it did nothing butake me feel horrible.

Let me first try to put your mind at ease. Assuming you live in the United States, it is absolutely positively NOT illegal to read anything no matter what it is. Although it IS illegal to be in possession of photographic or drawn images of children in sex acts, it is not illegal to read about it, think about it, and express it to others. In fact, it is your Constitutional right. With that said, there are some rare limits. For example, it is illegal to write something specifically designed to encourage someone to commit an indecent act with children. But even here is it only illegal for the writer, not the reader. And the material would have to be deemed to have absolutely no other value except to incite a crime.

Now, it is NOT normal to feel that the cops are after you unless they really are. Unless you are a prison escapee or a wanted fugitive, it is not normal to feel paranoid about being hunted down. So I suspect your reasons for feeling paranoid has nothing to do with the porn that you read. There's something else there, and perhaps a chat with a therapist might reveal it to you.

Papergirl wrote:Although it IS illegal to be in possession of photographic or drawn images of children in sex acts, it is not illegal to read about it, think about it, and express it to others.

Actually, drawn images are perfectly legal, though a gray area (in the US). As long as it is distinguishable from a real child, then you're good.

Thank you both so much for replying. It put me at ease to read what u say. I can tell myself its ok and in fact i have but theres always the what if. Ive looked it up a lot and no one ever distinguishes between whats illegal to produce vs to read. You helped me a lot and i would just like to say thank you.