"Healed" from sadistic fantasies?

So, there are a few members here who certainly know me and probably remember my threads about my sadistic fantasies, often involving torture or rape.
I've struggled with those fantasies a lot, but now I find myself not fantasizing about sadism.
I don't know why, but do you think I can take a deep breath and see those things as "a bad past", or is there a way they can come back when I least expect it, because they are part of my mind, a part of my mind that can't just go away?
I find myself grinning thinking about sadistic stuff as I write this thread. I have no idea where the fantasies and interest went to, don't know if they're still in a dark, forgotten corner of my mind....

There might be two possibilities here, two theories:
1) I used to be very wary of women and sometimes hostile, because of traumatic events in the past where I was victim of their emotional abuse. Now I pretty much solved this negativeness associated with women and even defend their rights. Sadistic fantasies were related to that unsolved conflict, so now that I solved it, sadistic fantasies have no place in my mind
2) The situation is much more complex than the one described in point 1: sadistic fantasies formed earlier in my life and they'll always be there because they are part of my nature and sexuality. They have no specific correlation to traumatic events. The reason I'm not having them now is because I'm just living a relatively calm, relaxed phase of my life, or I just have other things to think about and my mind is busy with other stuff.

I think theory number 2 is the right one, but I'd like to hear opinions about this.

The second theory strikes me as more likely, though I'm no expert. There's no need to try and suppress your sexuality if you won't act on it, but cultivating a calmer mindset in general is healthy.

I can't say they won't come back, ElK, but you're somebody who it's been possible to observe grow over your time on this forum. We all develop and grow over the course of our lives, and things that appeal in our younger days don't always survive as we gain in life experience and change as people.

From what I know of your character, I wouldn't be surprised if mechanisms in your subconscious have dumped the sadist element, or at least are working hard to suppress it. I think that's got to be possible because sadism is a behaviour, rather than an actual object of attraction.

Time will tell, I suppose.

Sadomasochistic (S/M) fantasies are amongst the more common fantasy themes, together with rape fantasies that, however, do not necessarily comprise sadistic or masochistic attributes. In fact, most of women's 'rape' fantasies are control and submission fantasies, only are not so called because the medium happens to be sexual coercion.

You employ the term 'healed,' which indicates you perceive, or have perceived at the time, those fantasies detrimental. I am wondering, though, why you have them so regarded. I think this is the gist of the issue, not really whether you have permanently been 'cured' of them or not. Personally, I look positively on my pertinent 'sadistic' fantasies, as they can be quite arousing. On the other hand, I have entertained some flavour of S/M-themed fantasies since pre-pubertal childhood, and could not conceive of how I might be 'cured' of this predilection -- or why there ever would be need for that.

If your sadistic fantasies return, or you choose to have them return, try to analyse why you so abhor having them and if that conflict between what arouses you and what you would like to arouse you could be reconciled.

If that pic is you, you appear to be ugly. So maybe that bullying or whatever has overpowered your mind and you won't be able to crawl out of that. The other possibility is that you were never threatened, or you never took aggressive action, and so have no impulse in your mind to do what is natural to anybody that is not plaqued by numerous fears.

i WISH I could be healed from my sadistic fantasies. I don't see that ever happening though. I feel like it's just a part of me that I was a born with and it's not coming from some underlying issue that I have with men or anybody because of how I was raised.

I have times when I feel relief from it, it's gotten more frequent though. Before I could go months without it bothering me, now it's more like a week and then the thoughts pop back up again. I wish I could say that you'll never have to feel those things again, and I hope you don't. But idk. just be cautious

Well, Dita, keep in mind I have strong morals and lots of ideas about "what's right and what's wrong".
Or maybe my morals just helped repress fantasies, but they're still there.
Either way, I have a deep sense of right and wrong.

I do too, I was raised religious. So I get that.

Dita wrote:i WISH I could be healed from my sadistic fantasies. I don't see that ever happening though. I feel like it's just a part of me that I was a born with and it's not coming from some underlying issue that I have with men or anybody because of how I was raised.

I have times when I feel relief from it, it's gotten more frequent though. Before I could go months without it bothering me, now it's more like a week and then the thoughts pop back up again. I wish I could say that you'll never have to feel those things again, and I hope you don't. But idk. just be cautious

If I may so enquire, why do you find these kinds of fantasy troubling? I have never experienced fantasies, no matter how vile or wicked, that way myself. With fantasy I denote anything that directly arouses one sexually or, at minimum, fascinates or interests one in such a way as could be incorporated in sexually-motivated fantasizing.

I'd suggest that there are parts from both theory 1 and 2 that are possibly relevant. Early environment (upbringing, treatment by girls, traumas, genetic disposition) probably heighten certain traits. Stresses provoke them and having a busy, emotionally progressive life may inhibit them. I say this from personal experience and I can empathise with your situation, El Kahn.