in love with my mother

It all started when I went through puberty. I waited for my mother to get out of the shower and get changed. This was a normal occurrence. She'd have a towel around her head and one around her body, exposing her breasts. I stared at them loving her body. When she took the towel off, id make conversation with her and she'd change right in front of me just to see her naked body. This picture along with many others have been engrained in my head. I to this day have vivid fantasies of her masterbating naked in front of me, her laying on my bed wanting me to pleasure her, and her romantically holding me in her arms for years. She is my primary attraction. I also am attracted to the different members of my immediate family, primarily. I have sexual fantasies about my sisters, father, and my brother as well for years. During puberty, I started masterbating to images of obese men, another thing i'm attracted to. This moved to videos and all throughout observing that content, I replay the fantasies of my mother. As of recently my fantasies and feelings have become obsessive. I think about my mom most days and it comes in the form of a fantasy, vision, sexual urge, or cognition. Every time I'm around my mother I make an effort to touch her wherever i could. I'd play the victim just to get her attention and for her to put her arm around me. I fake cry just to get her to hold me in her arms. It's these little moments of touching that I look for to get a sexual kick. I have romantic feelings for her. She is how I measure my love of others. Every relationship I have I base on my love for her and I have this belief that the one will come along and take away the unhealthy love I have for her and if the person doesn't take the feelings away they're not the one. I'm not even sure if "in love," is what I am for her. I'm holding onto the love I have for her like a blanket and not letting go, even for my relationship i'm in now. I've had moments in my life where I judge myself for the feelings for my mom, but for years i've just told myself that it doesn't matter, that it will go away, that it's nothing because it's just my mom. Besides those moments, I never really thought it was a problem. I was just holding out for someone to come along and take it away. I've always enjoyed the unhealthy love for my mother but now I realize how much it's affecting my life. Now I'm in a relationship where everything is crumbling because I refuse to deal with my feelings for my mother in an attempt to get rid of them and let go once and for all. This issue affects every aspect of my life. I've tried looking up "attractions to mom," or "in love with mother," online but i've found very little. I feel like i'm the only person with this issue. I should feel lucky that I have a very supportive partner but I don't listen to him. It's so incredibly embarrassing to talk about even though I know it's healthy to. I doubt there are very many people that could understand this issue so please, if you're reading this and you understand, or if you want to leave a comment, write something. Please help me.

Trust me just know you're not alone, I have the same issue as you do.

Hello, I understand your feelings for your mother. Although my circumstances are considerably different from yours, my love, or should I say my obsession with my mother is on account that we have been lovers for nearly seventeen years now. My love for my mother is immeasurable, and just like you, I have based any relationship I have had after her based on how much she reminds me of my mother.
After we both married and our affair continued through our marriages, we knew we just wouldn't be happy with anyone else. It took us nearly twelve years of being apart, and living double lives for us to understand this. We are both divorced, and my mother and I are together again l, but we decided it was to risky for us to live together again, so we live close by each other.

I understand you, but can't get you advice. I even can't help myself.

mommaslover29 wrote:Hello, I understand your feelings for your mother. Although my circumstances are considerably different from yours, my love, or should I say my obsession with my mother is on account that we have been lovers for nearly seventeen years now.

Would you like to tell us who said incestuous desire to whom first time? It would be helpfull because there are many of us with incestuous desires who are utterly desperate to know how to approach the person we love.

In my case it is my sister to whom I have incestuous feelings.