looking for spousal support counsellor Phoenix and Oregon

Hello:
I have been married for 12 years to a high functioning spouse with a paraphilia. To the outside world he is a devoted father, and a professional. Our sex life was always problematic and he early on he shared with me that he had a water fetish. To generate and maintain an erection he needs visual stimulation of women breathing underwater, probably as result of a prepuberty near drowning incident. This was challenging but harmless fetish to accommodate over the years and we tried our best and as consenting adults we had lots of underwater sex. I have been sexually frustrated due to the need to fulfill the requirements for his fetish but the rest of our friendship and relationship made up for the shortcomings. He has struggled with alcoholism, but he has worked hard and harm reduced. This weekend I found out that he likely has an online addiction to sites that feed his appetite and also that he may be attracted to girls younger than I am comfortable with. We are devoted parents to a 4 year old daughter. He claims that his addiction is on-line only and he would never harm our daughter and I have never seen any evidence to the contrary (we have a pool and I have never seen an erection around my daughter). I don't know whether to stay or go. I am a professional in my own right so I am not staying for the financial support-I really love this guy.I really would like to hear advice on whether anyone knows any non-judgmental psych help in the Phoenix and Oregon area (we have 2 houses) that works with people with and paraphilias and their spouses. I don't want my daughter impacted and my regular therapist told me she would have to involve CPS if there was any risk.

Does a heterosexual man with attractions to only adults rape his 21 year old daughter? No? Why not? He is attracted to adults after all and she is youthful with great skin and is just like a college girl fantasy. Just because someone is attracted to children doesn't suddenly make them an incestuous monster with no morals. Kids are at risk though and now he has easy access to one! Women are physically weaker than men and that is why domestic abuse is such an issue and now a father attracted to adults has easy access to a physically weaker person who he should be attracted to since he is attracted to adults! It doesn't work that way for 'normal' dad's so why should it work that way for a father with low age attractions. I'm sure your daughter is safe but if you don't feel the same then perhaps you should voice your concerns with your husband. If he is not aware that you know of his attractions then perhaps you should share that with him first. Being open and honest is the best way of having a healthy relationship in my opinion.

You may want to try a local Al-Anon meeting. Alcohol may no longer be a primary problem, but good judgement disappears along with it.
You will find support from others who are dealing with a spouse with possible multiple diagnoses and there are many. You would be welcomed and the rooms are safe and anonymous.
Go to an out of town one if you think that it won't be anonymous enough.
Visit the Al-Anon website for local meeting times and places. Little doubt that you may find someone with your same predicament.

Why don't you try online counseling such as:

mapdoc DOT net

You will probably find this option both more convenient, and also safer than risking a visit to a counselor's office who may not hold progressive views about minor attraction.