does loving someone change your feelings for their kids?

ctithe wrote:I think loving someone predisposes you to viewing the contents of their life in a more positive light. I was in love with a young woman once, and she had terrible taste in music. I tried so hard to like it, and almost convinced myself that I did.

In all kinds of relationships, the tendency to try to push ones music tastes on a captive is one of the greatest evils of humanity.

No I don't care for Bon Jovi. Get lost.

The worst ones for this are pretentious classical music types, who generally suffer from a superiority complex and tell themselves and you that you are merely thick for not getting it. The fact it is boring has nothing to do with it.

So it wouldn't lessen the attraction. I was not concerned about the offending issue. I understand with dome people that would be a possibility. ....so the attraction is always there? I am not judging. Just trying to understand. I have very few things in my life that I could compare to being attracted to children or teens. The best i would have is being a masochist. Now its a trend at low levels...but i don't like it. It is always there and I know.it's not healthy even though no one else is hurt. Bad example eh? But that's as close as I have to compare it to.

If I'm attracted to a girl, that attraction is about her. How I feel about other people doesn't really influence that one way or the other.

I'm perfectly capable of recognizing that other relationships complicate things, and might make those feelings inconvenient or problematic, but the attraction itself is an involuntary thing that doesn't really get effected by outside factors.

So it wouldn't lessen the attraction.

Not in my world. Each attraction to each person is independent of each other. You might love the adult, but if I am attracted to the daughter/son, then that is always there for me. I can control my response to my attraction, but not the attraction itself.

The best i would have is being a masochist. Now its a trend at low levels...but i don't like it. It is always there and I know.it's not healthy even though no one else is hurt

I am not sure why you say it's not healthy. That's who you are. True, you may not like it, but welcome to the club where we have attractions/desires/paraphilias we are at odds with. Learning to live with it is a measure of who we are.

I hope we are all helping you sort through this, and I am glad you are being more revealing in your posts.

Assuming I am barking up the right tree here with the original question that was being asked?

If I love someone enough would that make feel different about their children?

If you truly love someone then you would do anything for them generally including their family and friends to a point.

So yes I think loving someone can make you feel different about their children or family members, if you really love someone you would not dream of doing something that could harm or affect them or their children.

I have friends with kids and I treat those children as if they were my own, I would die for them if it mean't they would live, why because I love them all as people as friends and to me being there for someone and putting their needs above your own is being a true and caring friend.

Whether that love is of a sexual nature, a friendship nature or any other type of love is irrelevant.

The most important aspect is to assess why you do anything you do for someone, if there is motive for doing it for your own agenda then it is not doing something for someone else it is for your own benefit and is shallow and self centered in my opinion.

Intent is the important word.