Outstanding questions for Pedophiliacs

What is your own definition of Pedophilia? Please do not refer to dictionaries and textbooks. We know all that. Please precisely answer and be honest with yourself and with us.
Having been reading your posts here it seems that you are adamant that you are not going to change your minds. You are telling us that Pedophiliacs are different, totally different, from those predators that attack the children and insult them sexually and even kill them. Were those predators originally pedophiliacs before they commit the crime? Or did they just come out of the blue to do this to the children? Do those predators get different motivations and psychology? Do predators get sexual attractions and desires towards the children? Are those attractions and desires different from yours? Please answer this question sensibly and do not just say “But we don’t act on the desires”.
Is there grey area in common, or call it overlapping, between pedophiliacs and the predators? What is the blind spot that stands between the pedophiliacs and the children attackers?
I guess more questions will overflow when the discussion goes on.

Some more questions are coming to my mind:

Do you (or some of you) have families and children? if yes, do you develop the same pedophiliac feelings and emotions towards your own children?
Is there a connection between pedophiliacs and incest (at least emotional incest syndrome or covert incest)?

To me, a pedophile is anyone who reguarly finds children sexually attractive. Basically, they find a typical child attractive to the same degree that a a typical heterosexual finds someone of the opposite sex attractive, or a homosexual finds someone of the same sex attractive (the above examples being attracted to beings older than children, of course). Like adult-based orientations, there is variation as to what is the most eye-catching, be it physical or personality-wise.

As for what a child molestor is, well, my definition is anyone who forces or threatens a child into doing sexual things (I hate people who do this, btw, as do most pedophiles). For the sake of argument however, I'll extend this to include anyone who does something sexual to a child and is not a child themselves.

At first, the correlation between these two seeom fairly obvious. What you must realize however, is that most child molestors have little to no sexual attraction to children. The majority of child molestors molest children for one of two reasons:

1. They want to hurt and or control someone sexually, and choose to molest children because they are easier prey

2. They are drunk/on drugs and don't realise what they are doing.

Of course, it's quite possible to be both a pedophile and a child molester, but you can't assume that just someone is one that they are automatically the other. Because 9 times out of 10, they are not. Even among us "pro-contacts", most of us have never touched a child.

I'd recommend starting a survey so you can ask all your questions at once.

MapleSyrup wrote: You are telling us that Pedophiliacs are different, totally different, from those predators that attack the children and insult them sexually and even kill them.

Right. Pedophilia is a sexual and/or romantic attraction. Attraction does not mean a desire to rape, kill, or insult someone. In fact, attraction in most cases tends not to lead to killing and insulting. Pedophilia like all sexualities is a biological response to someone or something that we find sexually or romantically stimulating.

MapleSyrup wrote: Were those predators originally pedophiliacs before they commit the crime?

Some were. Some weren't.

MapleSyrup wrote: Are those attractions and desires different from yours?

If you're wondering If I desire to rape, kill or otherwise damage the girls that I fall in love (or lust with), then my answer is no.

MapleSyrup wrote:Is there grey area in common, or call it overlapping, between pedophiliacs and the predators?

I assume you mean between pedophiles and pedophilic predators (as opposed to predators in general,) and the answer is yes. Just as there are similarities between african americans and african american predators, or heterosexuals and heterosexual predators.

If you've come here trying to find out if pedophiles have an inherent desire to hurt children than just say so because I feel like that's where your going with this. What is your point? You think we don't care about children just because we're attracted to them? What kind of logic is that?

I suspect it's more like you've never heard of non-offending pedophiles and you are in awe of this. If so why? Doesn't it occur to you that the vast majority of pedophiles are closeted because of extreme prejudice and that only the ones who do commit related crimes will be outed?

Answering your other questions, I don't have any children. I do however, have a little cousin, and I think she's VERY attractive, so I'd imagine I'd find my own daughter attractive. Also, for what it's worth, I've never really had any problems with the concept of (consensual) incest per se. Save for the risks of birth defects (which can be minimized with proper care and planning), incest just doesn't bother me. But that's just me. I know of many pedos that don't find thier own bloodine attractive.

Do I think that there is a correlation between the two? Well, no, I don't. Regardless of what definition of incest you're using, many incest cases involve two adults, which has nothing to do with pedophilia, and even with the ones where children are involved, it's a lot like with the child molestors; attracted to the power, not the child.

Dear Chessplayer and sprooglestrewft

Thank you for answering. I really and genuinely appreciate your contribution though I feel it added a little to what we heard from you in the forum. The second post from chessplayer is highly appreciated.
I am not prejudiced in terms of your perception. I think you are suspicious and curious. Be assured I am a simple and ordinary member here. I am not a police man. I am not researcher or here for surveying. I came to this website (forumS) because I did have an issue with my ex fiance who was most likely in consensual incest relationship. I never got the proof which made life more complicated.
I think the arising question is: do you all believe that you are unfairly treated by the law or by the society?

For chessplayer: do you have time to read and review my old posts (my story). I ask because you wrote something interesting in the incest subject. I was assured by the expert in the form that it was definitely an incest case. The question is: if it was true case of family incest, why did they get me involved with them? why the triangle? and how come they look very close. happy family while holding the incest secrets inside them?
Many thanks

I guess you could say that we pedophiles are in general kind of feel like the scapegoats of the media and general public anger. I can certainly understand why it would be that way (I love children. I get why people are so protective of then). Still, it'd be nice if people took the time to understand us. We're not monsters looking to kidnap your children.

I'd be happy to look over any posts/stories you have for me, but please send me a link to them. I tried looking for them myself and coudn't find them.

MapleSyrup wrote:What is your own definition of Pedophilia? Please do not refer to dictionaries and textbooks. We know all that. Please precisely answer and be honest with yourself and with us.

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation where the primary object of attraction is prepubescent children. Individuals with this orientation are called pedophiles.

MapleSyrup wrote:Having been reading your posts here it seems that you are adamant that you are not going to change your minds.

About what? The relevance of you randomly shouting "the chicken or the egg"?

MapleSyrup wrote:You are telling us that Pedophiliacs

Pedophiliac is not a word. The word you were trying for is pedophiles.

MapleSyrup wrote:are different, totally different, from those predators that attack the children and insult them sexually and even kill them.

Yep, pedophiles and child molesters are two different things.

MapleSyrup wrote:Were those predators originally pedophiliacs before they commit the crime? Or did they just come out of the blue to do this to the children? Do those predators get different motivations and psychology? Do predators get sexual attractions and desires towards the children? Are those attractions and desires different from yours? Please answer this question sensibly and do not just say “But we don’t act on the desires”.

90% of child molesters, according to FBI statistics are not sexually attracted to children. They instead molest out of sadistic desire to exercise power over a weaker person, or out of a disinterest in the specifics of their parnter and find children easier to intimidate. The FBI refers to this overwhelming majority of child molesters "situational offenders". Only about 10% of child molesters are actually pedophiles.

MapleSyrup wrote:Is there grey area in common, or call it overlapping, between pedophiliacs and the predators?

As I said, about 10% of child molesters are actually attracted to children. Based on statistics indicating how common being attracted to children actually is, there is less overlap with pedophiles than there is with nonpedophiles.

MapleSyrup wrote:What is the blind spot that stands between the pedophiliacs and the children attackers?
I guess more questions will overflow when the discussion goes on.

I don't understand the question. What do you mean by "blind spot"?

MapleSyrup wrote:Some more questions are coming to my mind:

Do you (or some of you) have families and children?

I am not a father.

MapleSyrup wrote:if yes, do you develop the same pedophiliac feelings and emotions towards your own children?
Is there a connection between pedophiliacs and incest (at least emotional incest syndrome or covert incest)?

I've never seen any evidence that pedophiles are any less effected by the westermark effect (the primary source of the incest taboo) than nonpedophiles are.

MapleSyrup wrote:I think the arising question is: do you all believe that you are unfairly treated by the law or by the society?

Oh, obviously. The need to conceal a large part of who we are is incredibly unfair. Mind you, I personally think that minors are being treated far more unfairly than I am, but the things that are done to us pedophiles are very much unfair.

Chessplayer wrote: I guess you could say that we pedophiles are in general kind of feel like the scapegoats of the media and general public anger. I can certainly understand why it would be that way (I love children. I get why people are so protective of then). Still, it'd be nice if people took the time to understand us. We're not monsters looking to kidnap your children.

I'd be happy to look over any posts/stories you have for me, but please send me a link to them. I tried looking for them myself and coudn't find them.

Thanks

When you are online for the forum, click on my user name. My profile will appear. in the right side, it say: "see all posts by the user. click to find all....go to the older ones. Here is one of them:

post404200.html#p404200

Another question:
Any difference between female and male pedophiles (can be pedophiliacs too)? I haven't searched the topic. What is the percentage of male and female pedophiles?

BTW: the blind spot is more or less the grey area and the overlapping.

Also Q: in consensual incest could it all have started as pedophile feelings desires then develpoed into consenting adults act? In this example there is a blind spot.....the spot when the just the contained feelings turn into real act.