Need some support

[quote="ElKahn"][quote="rainbowstar"][quote="Elkahn"]Guilt is a damaging feeling.[/quote]
One could easily say that the wife is the one who is destroying the marriage just because the guy looked at some pictures of girls online; she is very selfish, rash, and thick-headed. When the pendulum of blame swings back the other way, and it likely will, because blaming others and blaming ourselves is the same psychologically violent process, there is going to be furry. That's why it's better to seek a fair resolution now, rather than giving into her every whim now and then resenting her later.[/quote]
rainbowstar, criticizing his wife like that is not very appropriate nor is it helpful....
It's not because "the guy looked at some pictures of girls online". I understand the OP shouldn't blame himself too much, as he can't help his attractions, but what he did had consequences one can't simply ignore.[/quote]

I accept full responsibility for what i did that landed me in this mess. Nobody made me do it and no one other than me is to blame. I also dont fault my wife for how she reacted to this disturbing discovery.I only wish i could have had enough common sense to stop before now.

you mentioned common sense in your last post. Unfortunately, for people like us, common sense is not so common, in fact its not common at all.You just have to accept that. No matter what you may think now, this habit of yours would have surfaced eventually, or at least if not the habit, then the relationship between you and your partner would have ended because you got sexually distracted from what the norm is. So no matter what, your sexual desires for your wife would have diminished as time went on eventually causing a break up. I know how hard it is to stop viewing pics,it takes several years for that phase to wind down, Anyways, if aything, you should feel liberated now that you are not responsible for keeping your wife happy both emotionally and physically happy, since you were not sexually attracted to her. I mean who were you lying to when you marry someone you are not attracted to/ THAT PERSON YES, BUT MOSTLY YOURSELF.

heartache999 wrote:you mentioned common sense in your last post. Unfortunately, for people like us, common sense is not so common, in fact its not common at all.You just have to accept that. No matter what you may think now, this habit of yours would have surfaced eventually, or at least if not the habit, then the relationship between you and your partner would have ended because you got sexually distracted from what the norm is. So no matter what, your sexual desires for your wife would have diminished as time went on eventually causing a break up. I know how hard it is to stop viewing pics,it takes several years for that phase to wind down, Anyways, if aything, you should feel liberated now that you are not responsible for keeping your wife happy both emotionally and physically happy, since you were not sexually attracted to her. I mean who were you lying to when you marry someone you are not attracted to/ THAT PERSON YES, BUT MOSTLY YOURSELF.

Well i am actually very much attracted to my wife and other females in general. Not all of the pics i have went looking for were of kids. I have looked at pics of plenty of adult women all ages, body types, & etc. I esentially cheated on my wife with our computer and pictures of kids and women i dont even know. I gave my time and affection to something that only offers short term enjoyment and can never give me the companionship that my wife could. I love my wife very much, always have and always will. I lost sight of what was important and gave into bad habbits instead of being the faithful husband i needed to be.

Did you read the pdf I linked you about the destructiveness of playing the blame game...?

Looking at nude and swimsuit pictures of children can put you in hot water. However, looking at these things does not mean your are actually interested in children in real life. It's an unreliable indicator due to factors of addiction where the current material needs to be more extreme than before, and/or probable need for something "taboo"; that It's not normal and that's where the interest comes from. Not the actual real life child. If you were checking out children in real life and fantasizing/having feelings than yes, you are probably a paedophile.

Simply admiring other women on the internet is a sign of interest in the opposite sex which is completely normal and not something to be ashamed of. women do it too. It's why adult couples rent porno films and watch them together.

I feel bad for you kid though. Parental breakups can be very unpleasant experiences. If it's a young child though, it's best to make sure they do not get the impression that it's normal for married couples to split.

Of course, I wouldn't really know. I'm not her or you.

Just my thoughts.

I agree with SiameseFever. You might just be attracted to extreme material.
However, be very careful with that....as previously said, you can put yourself in trouble.